Fish And Spaghetti...

Best of 2011 - Music

2012-01-31T08:48:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know; "Skip, January is almost over and you're just posting your best albums of 2011?" What can I say? My bad.

Can I say in my defense that I got some fancy pants headphones for X-Mas that completely altered my "Best of 2011" list? Seriously, the speakers I was using on 12/24 made what I was listening to sound like mud. The addition of the headphones completely altered my list.

Oh, are you curious now?

The Roots - undun

Apparently The Roots decided to challenge themselves in 2012. First they decided to do an concept album with a narrative. Then they upped the ante by telling the story in reverse. The result, undun, is a triumph. It's a somber affair, but what it lacks in fun it makes up for with beautifully lush arrangements. While undun might not be for everyone, it's certainly the best album of 2011.

Jay-Z & Kanye West - Watch the Throne

When WTT was announced the expectations were immediately off the scale. Kanye West and Jay-Z collaborating on an entire album? Bananas. It's an interesting portrait of two superstars and how they deal with their fame. Kanye is raging id, with his hands in everything and relishing every moment. Jay is all ego, impressed with his journey. WTT is the definition of spectacle. Even the faulty lead single "H*A*M" works as a bonus track in the context of the album.

Iron & Wine - Kiss Each Other Clean

Sometimes when an artist grows and tries something new they risk turning off their fanbase, who are often fans not of the artist but of the aesthetic. Iron & Wine ran that risk with Kiss Each Other Clean. Gone are the hushed acoustic ballads. Instead the album opens with fuzzy guitars before expanding into Sam Beam's new fuller sound, including horns. But the haunting mournful lyrics are still front and center; songs feature wounded and wandering characters. Kiss Each Other Clean is the first step on the next leg of Iron & Wine's journey.

The Kills - Blood Pressures

The Kills might be Rock's best kept secret. Four albums deep and they continue to fly just below the radar of mainstream success. Blood Pressures is a raucous affair. Alison Mosshart and Jamie Hince crafted an album full of energy that practically leaps through the speakers. Mosshart's wail cuts like a knife while Hince's plays the guitar with almost primal ferocity. Blues/Rock has never sounded more vital.

Saigon - The Greatest Story Never Told

The Greatest Story Never Told is quite the anomaly. Firstly it's Hip-Hop album that's predominately produced by a single producer. Secondly it's a concept album. And lastly it's a hyped and long awaited album that's actually worth the wait. Saigon is a spitter and he manages to weave in and out Hip-Hop tropes and cliches while not only injecting his own sensibility into them but also working them into his narrative. Just Blaze's production is superb and the entire album is just a marvel.

Radiohead - The King of Limbs

Upon first listen, The King of Limbs sounds disjointed and slight, like two halves that don't quite form a whole. But after a couple of spins the big picture takes shape and Radiohead's latest album reveals itself to be full of nuance. The carefully selected samples and loops create an atmosphere with the illusion of stillness, but as always with Radiohead the lyrics contain worries and fears. In the end The King of Limbs is just a Radiohead album distilled to it's essence.

St. Vincent - Strange Mercy

Strange Mercy is Annie Clark's strongest offering yet and it's quite a journey. It can be heartbreaking at times. "Cheerleader" is a frustrating glimpse at the trials of being a woman in American culture. But the title track is an ode to devotion. Clark's voice is a dichotomy; it's vulnerable yet strong and all the while beautiful. At times Strange Mercy is morose, while the next song is bounding with energy, but it's always engaging.

Danger Mouse & Daniele Luppi - Rome

Rome is an almost mythical album. Danger Mouse had been working with Daniele Luppi for five years to complete his homage to the music of spaghetti westerns. The result is mood music for the imagination. Every song sounds like it belongs in movie or on a tv show ("Black" actually closed out the most recent season of Breaking Bad.) Jack White and Norah Jones provide the vocals, but the real standout is the music and it's layers. Even the interludes are glorious.

Drake - Take Care

Take Care could have been called "Schadenfreude: The Album" beause it's so entertaing to hear Drake's conflict. Take Care straddles the line between guilty pleasure and bonafide masterpiece. It's a document detailing a guy adrift in a sea of fame and searching for "the one that got away." It's introspective and reflective enough to feel like it's a violation of someone's privacy, yet it's catchy enough to be thoroughly enjoyable. It's actually impressive how Drake and executive producer Noah Shebib manage to infuse the synthetic beats with a sort of desolate warmth.

Frank Ocean - Nostalgia, Ultra

Frank Ocean was the fresh face of 2011. He's also unique in that not only is he the only member of Odd Future worth paying attention to, but he's also the only male R&B singer with paying attention to. He was the breakout star and Nostalgia, Ultra was his introduction to the world. In a word it's refreshing. Whether he's reworking Coldplay, MGMT and The Eagles or just detailing life's excess in "Novacane" he brings a unique perspective to the stale world of R&B. The honesty in "We All Try" is stark, but impressive (hopefully Ocean will maintain that integrity as his fame grows.) It's worth hoping that Nostalgia, Ultra is the sound of the future and not just a genre dead end.

And those were the albums that I loved the most in 2011. Sorry it took so long for me to share this with you.

Monday Munchies - Popcorn, Indiana - Drizzled Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn

2012-01-30T08:56:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid one of my favorite breakfast treats was cinnamon toast. My mom would sometimes make it for me and it was always awesome. There was something about the buttery goodness mixed with the cinnamon that just made for perfect mornings.

One day I wanted some, but Ma Serpico didn't want to make it. So I tried my hand at it. I'm pretty sure I've still got nodes of cinnamon in my sinus cavity. I didn't realize that when it comes to spice a little goes a long way.

I basically burned myself out on cinnamon flavored anything. Anything that comes close to overdoing it in the cinnamon department gets an instant veto from me.

Lately however I've been allowing cinnamon to creep back into my life. Which brings us to this edition of Monday Munchies.

I'd had Popcorn, Indiana's Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn before and it was inoffensive enough that when I saw the package this time I figured I'd give it another go round. Of course I missed one important word; "Drizzled."

In my continued ignorance I tore open the bag and proceeded to chow down. Almost immediately I tasted the added sweetness from the drizzled white chocolate on the kettlecorn. That white chocolate really packs a kick of sweetness. It doesn't overpower or neutralize the cinnamon, but it provides a nice balance to it

Drizzled Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn is really a fine example in balance. I'm borderline averse to cinnamon, yet I love the spice is judiciously distributed on the kernels. I'm also not a fan of the super sweet, but neither the white chocolate nor dusting of sugar overwhelms my palate.

Honestly I'm surprised how much I enjoy it.

If you're a fan of any of the major components (kettlecorn, popcorn or cinnamon) you owe it to yourself to try out Popcorn, Indiana's Drizzled Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn. I'm guessing you won't be disappointed.

Random

2012-01-26T17:28:00.000-05:00

I Don't Get Fleet Foxes

2012-01-25T08:49:00.000-05:00

I like to think of myself as an open minded guy. I'm down to try new things and I'm always on the lookout for music. I love getting recommendations from friends and family.

I've gotten a few recommendations recently that have panned out. My cousin recommended both Robyn and St. Vincent and I was impressed. Unfortunately I didn't feel that way about Fleet Foxes.

I was hanging out with my cousin and he offered up quite a few different musical acts that I might be interested in. He suggested I try out St. Vincent, Wilco and Fleet Foxes.

I'd heard him talk about Fleet Foxes before. He seemed to be a fan, as were some other family members. I trusted them, I mean family wouldn't betray you, right?

So I gave Fleet Foxes debut and first ep some spins. It was a bit too slight for me. It sounded pretty, but it really lacked the substance I wanted. I don't quite no if I can fully quantify why it didn't click with me, but it didn't.

It's not just because they're a bunch of beardos who look like they should be occupying something. It's not because they look like they smell bad enough I'd take the stairs up six fights rather than get in an elevator with them. I'm not basing this on they're folky appearance.

Still, when Helplessness Blues came out and received universal praise, it piqued my interest. Could I have gotten Fleet Foxes wrong? Should I give them another shot?

Eventually I did find the sophomore release used at The Soundgarden. And again I was disappointed. I still couldn't hear or see what all the fuss was about. I still didn't connect with Fleet Foxes.

Finally when the end of the year magazines came out I was excited to see what the various magazines felt were the best of 2011. Entertainment Weekly and Paste said Helplessness Blues was the second best album last year. Fleet Foxes also placed on the best of 2011 for both Rolling Stone (#4) Spin (#33.)

Yo, I still don't get it. I don't understand the allure. I don't get why people love them. Is it me? Am I the one who's wrong? Is there something wrong with my ears?

Help me out. If you think you can explain the Fleet Foxes phenomenon please leave me a comment. I want to get it. I want to be down.

Bonus Track Flimflam

2012-01-24T08:58:00.000-05:00

So, tonight was goofing off and looking for music from Breaking Bad's fourth season to add to my collection. I went to the Breaking Bad site and scoped out the detailed list of a) the music b) the scenes it was in and c) where to buy it.

Naturally this lead me to iTunes where I fell down a rabbit hole of music. But once I managed to regain my senses, I was struck by how angry I'd become. And it was all because of bonus tracks.

Now, despite the fact that I've yet to put my Best Albums of '11 (it's coming, I promise) it should be apparent that am a supporter of the music industry. I like buying music. I enjoy cds, what can I say?

But that's what irks me about iTunes; the exclusive bonus tracks. I literally just spent ten dollars on bonus tracks from albums that I already physically own. Ten dollars isn't going to break me, but it's also money I don't necessarily believe I should have to spend when I went through the trouble of actually buying the physical release.

This isn't the first time that bonus tracks have plagued me. In the mid-aughts the bonus track fad swept the recording industry. It seemed like every album released had exclusive bonus tracks from specific retailers.

So, say you wanted to by the new album by Canadian rap and reggae artist Snow you might be faced with a dilemma. You might be inclined to buy it from the Target directly across the street from your apartment, however if you opted buy it from the Best Buy across town, you'd be rewarded with two exclusive songs you could download.

And of course if you supported your local independent record store you'd get nothing, other than the satisfaction of knowing spent your money in your own community helping a small business owner.

This tactic was designed to help the ailing recording industry, which was on a severe decline. The idea was to push consumers to buy the physical cds buy providing them bonus tracks as incentives.

Of course the recording industry isn't known for doing things in moderation and it quickly spiraled out of control. Pete Yorn's 2006 release Nightcrawler offered up exclusive bonus tracks from five different outlets and boasted ten bonus tracks in total.

Flash forward half a dozen years and the paradigm has shifted, where the bonus tracks are now predominately found on iTunes. While it's much more convenient to pick up my bonus tracks from a single destination (with the added bonus of being able to do it from my bed) it still sucks to have to have to search for them.

And I get that now I'm being pushed away from the physical releases into the digital realm of the cloud, but if anything the preponderance of bonus tracks has strengthened my resolve to stick with cds.

Ok, I think I'm all better now that I've vented. Thanks for listening.

Wild Pitch Wednesday - The Mixtape Project

2012-01-18T08:58:00.000-05:00

Six seems to be my magic number. Six is the hours of sleep I've had in the past day. Six is also the number of hours before I'm supposed to meet up with Jay1 to do a little bit of brainstorming.

Yet, here I am writing this.

Why? For you. Because you need something to read. And because you're so good to me. And because you deserve it.

That's right, it's time for Wild Pitch Wednesday. I hope you're sitting down. If not, you totally should be.

I guess I should start off by telling you about an aborted Wild Pitch idea. Last year, I was looking for a grand year long project to undertake as part of my New Year's Resolution. And for awhile this was it.

Every day I was going to listen to a different episode of This American Life, and then try to use that episode as a seed for something for me to write. I even thought about starting a separate blog (to be called "This American" Year) where I basically reviewed every episode.

Obviously it never happened...or did it?

No, it didn't.

But my love for This American Life planted the seed for my grand year-long project for 2012; to make a different mixtape every week, using a common theme, with no artist appearing more than once per mix.

In addition to no artist appearing more than once per mix, every disc would have to have at least 60 minutes of music on it.

Now first up, I didn't know if this was even feasible. Yeah, I've got a couple thousand cds, the music wasn't a problem. The problem was coming up with 52 distinct themes. Even now, after sitting down and thinking about it, I've only got 41. I figure that once the ball gets rolling, the final 11 will just pop into my head.

But just tonight I found another hurdle, finding the songs. I went through 160 cds, an just focusing on a handful of themes (primiarly "numbers", "food" and "colors") and it took me close to two hours. And that's not even a tenth of my collection and that's just three themes. Either I'm going to have to be better at focusing or I'm going to have to comb through my collection every three weeks.

This is going to be a project.

Again, this is just a Wild Pitch, so it might never come to fruition. Ideally, Jay1'd write up reviews giving his take on the songs I selected. But we'll see what happens.

I'll be sure to keep you posted.

Monday Munchies - Rold Gold Peppermint Dipped Snowflakes

2012-01-16T08:10:00.001-05:00

Sorry about my absence, but life tossed me a wicked curveball which kept me too preoccupied write much last week. Basically the time I'd usually spend writing was spent sleeping as a result of exhaustion.

But let's start this week off on a good note, shall we?

I honestly can't think of a better way to start things off than with a tasty snack.

As I'm sure that by now you're aware that two of my favorite attributes in snacks are "crunchy" and "salty." For instance, back home there's a snack called a saladito which is basically just a dried and salted prune. I miss them dearly.

It's just that the whole salty/crunchy dynamic can be hard to deliver on. Some things are too salty while others don't quite back the crunch I desire.

Well Rold Gold's Peppermint Dipped Snowflakes totally delivers on both the crunchy and the salty. Furthermore, they're sweet. And they're peppermint. Oh, and they're delicious.

For something that packs so much flavor it's actually delivered in a small messenger. We're literally talking about "peppermint flavored white fudge coated pretzels." But the taste sensation is so much more than that.

When you first put one in your mouth and bite down, immediately you get the peppermint. It's not oppressively strong, but it's present. Then you get the sweetness of white fudge. While that peppermint flavor and sweetness are mixing, the saltiness of the pretzel begins to come out, which really compliments the flavors forming.

I've honestly never had something bite-size that took me such a journey.

What's more; they're addictive. Once you eat one, you're ready for the next. And because they're so small you end up running through an entire bag before you realize it. This is one snack food that require pacing.

I'm guessing they're a Rold Gold Peppermint Dipped Snowflakes are a "limited time" affair, so if you see some you should certainly grab a bag or two.

Sunday Morning Quarterback - Daniel Radcliffe & Lana Del Ray

2012-01-15T16:35:00.003-05:00

Welcome to my first post of the year and the first thing I've posted that wasn't just a youtube clip since March.

I've actually been dying to write one of these. Skip Serpico and I came up with this idea a long time ago but since he's generally taken responsibility for the blog over the last year and and a half, I haven't posted much of anything. The one time actually attempted to write this column he beat me too it.

Lucky for me he missed SNL last night.
Bear with me, I'm rusty.

I missed last week’s SNL with Charles Barkley so I was excited to catch this week’s episode. Even though I've never seen a Harry Potter Movie and I'm only vaguely familiar with Lana Del Ray.

I am aware that Radcliffe does theater so I was certain he'd be a good performer, my only real trepidation was that he would fuck around and do a musical monologue which are usually a real turn off if they’re not done right.

Let’s get it.

(Our rating system as always)

Phil Hartman – Comedic gold

Chris Farley – Definitely funny, but kinda messy

Norm MacDonald – Funny, but not for everyone

Tim Meadows – Solid Bit

Andy Samberg – Funny, but overstayed it’s welcome

Jim Breuer- Crowd pleaser, but a bit obvious

David Spade – Trying too hard

Chris Elliot – Didn’t click at all, how did it get on?

Cold Open - Message from Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney being so insanely out of touch that when he discusses his life it sounds like an alien trying to blend in is a funny concept. It’s executed nicely and well performed by Sudeikis. I laughed when Romney talked about his “human children”.

A little over midway through the bit, the joke switched from Romney being out of touch with people to being obsessed with firing people, a reputation he earned as a businessman. I like disconnected Romney better.

Rating: Tim Meadows

Monologue – Like I said, I’ve never watched an entire Harry Potter film. I was glad that the monologue played with the idea that doing Harry Potter bits would be predictable and lame not only because it would be obvious and lazy but also because over the years they’ve done it already. Some of the Potter references were lost on me, but it seemed to go over well.

Rating: Jim Breuer, Tim Meadows

Ricky Gervais – A fake commercial where Ricky Gervais, or the fact that America is on his dick when it comes to the golden globes is the joke. I couldn't tell. It was ok.

The premise, "you loved him on the golden globes, well now watch as he hosts...." was easy enough if not a bit predictable.
especially when it ended with Gervais hosting the BET awards, talking shit about a rapper and then being shot at. It was a disappointing end to a well acted yet only mildly funny bit.

Rating: David Spade, Jim Breuer, Andy Samburg

Target – Here’s a re-occurring bit that I never really look forward too, I never understood how it became a re-occcurring bit and I don’t miss it when it’s gone. Yet every time it’s on, I stare at it without laughing even once and when it’s over I think to myself, “that’s a funny bit”.

Because it is. Because Kristen Wiig is brilliant and the jokes come from all over the place: The cashier has a weird accent, leaves to shop in the middle of transactions and has bizarre sayings. The customers are funny, there’s almost always a wacky co-worker and there’s a weird manager now too. It’s packed with silly, and it works for some reason. If I never see it again though I’ll be ok with that.

Rating: Tim Meadows

You Can Do Anything – Ho…Lee…Crap….This is an incredible bit.

Find it on youtube or hulu or Netflix or wherever. This is one of the smartest, best written sketches I’ve seen on the show in a minute. It’s a perfect summary of (and jab at) the psyche of a very specific generation. It’s what SNL is supposed to be.
Rating: Phil Hartman

Spin The Bottle – Clearly the “Digital Short” even though it wasn’t introduced as a “Digital Short”.

Maybe it wasn’t. Either way it felt like a good one. It was random, ridiculous and creepy and the ending was absurd. That’s how I like my digital shorts. Everyone in it was great.

Tim Meadows, Norm McDonald

Delaware Fellas – It’s an off Broadway play for people who want to see Jersey Boys but who can’t afford the ticket. Get it? That’s the whole joke, which in and of itself is funny, but not all that funny. Yawn.

Andy Samberg

Hogwarts 2020 – Here’s the obligatory Harry Potter Sketch that we all knew was coming. It’s done well enough so that people like me could appreciate the joke while Harry Potter nerds probably shit into their socks from laughing so hard.

The gist was that Harry was one of those losers who peaked in high school and then continues to hang around reliving the past. Great impressions and a decent premise.

Tim Meadows, Norm MacDonald

Lana Del Ray Performance #1 – I like her. I’m not that familiar, but I know of her because I’m on youtube all the time and I see her name pop up all the time.

I know she’s new but she seemed confident if a little nervous and she sounds good and is beautiful. Song was interesting enough to make me google her. Generally though, unless the musical guess is someone I’m a fan of, I use this time to talk on the phone or make an ill-advised sandwich or even worse, have a cigarette.

Weekend Update – As a SNL nerd, one of the first things that popped into my mind when I heard that Muammar Gaddafi was killed was that the Weekend Update bit where Fred Armisen and Vanessa Bayer play Gaddafi’s childhood friends.

I’m glad they brought them back as “childhood friends of Kim Jon Un.” It’s one of my favorite new bits. Casey Anthony’s dog was also a very funny guest.

Tim Meadows

X27B Theater Performance – This is another really smart, really well written bit and the 2nd funniest sketch of the show, right behind the “You Can Do Anything” sketch that was flat out brilliant. It’s takes place 100 years in the future where a crowd of people watch an educational recreation of what life was like in the year 2012.

Emailing, looking at internet porn, putting on a suit, sitting in traffic and a lack of domesticated wolverines are concepts the audience of the future find absurd and hilarious.

Tim Meadows

Glenda Okones Campaign ad – This is a sketch about a candidate who is running a smear campaign against herself that didn’t make me laugh at all. You mean to tell me that not 1 writer could come up with a better bit for one of the other women on the show?

I love Kristen Wiig but sometimes she’s in sketches for the sake of being in a sketch and It didn’t seem like anything was happening in the sketch that the other women couldn’t do. I say this because of a whole separate conversation that Skip Serpico and I had about Kristen Wiig a few weeks ago about how she’s brilliant but overexposed. Also I’m attracted to Abby Elliot (she’s cute) and Nasim Pedrad (she’s hot) and generally want to see them more. Also they showed this commercial 3 times.

David Spade

The Jay Pharoah Show – This was funny. Basically poking fun at Jay Pharoah and everything about him. Here’s the whole bit: He’s there to interview Daniel but doesn’t know or care who he his, he just waits for him to stop talking long enough to do an impression of Denzel, Will Smith and Chris Rock.

And not even in any context, just like, “oh, well you know what Denzel would say right now…?” It was just him waiting to crowbar his impressions into the show. Just like his entire existence on the SNL so far. Smart, Meta, and Odd.

Norm MacDonald, Chris Elliot (almost), Tim Meadows

Lana Del Ray Performance #2 – Same as before.

GOP Survey – Kristen Wiig being Kristen Wiig in a good way. A minute into this and I had to check my watch to double check that it was actually 10 to 1 because that’s exactly what it felt like. And if you don't know what a 10 to 1 sketch is, you shouldn't even be reading this.

And it was. In a good way.

Tim Meadows.

Headz Up – A boring social commentary about how people are always on their phones all the time now. That’s why you need this device, so it can tell you “you’re on a bull” or “you’re in traffic” because everyone is dumb from gadgets these days.

The other social commentaries in this episode were way better.

David Spade, Jim Breuer

Final Thoughts – for an episode that I went into with no expectations, I can say I was pleasantly surprised. Host was solid, some really funny, smart, strong bits. Jay Pharoah was in a potential reoccurring bit, “You Can Do Anything” was brilliant, "X27B" was really strong, Update was good, Digital Short was good and the bits that I didn’t like weren’t really all that bad.

It was altogether solid show with some great highlights.

Resolutions 2012

2012-01-10T08:06:00.001-05:00

Look, I know it's the 10th, but when you're looking at ways of improving yourself over the next twelve months, I've found that it's best not to rush things. You don't want to end up with lame resolutions like "lose weight" or "go to the gym."

So I held off on painting myself into a corner of mediocrity and instead opted for painting myself into a corner office with a secretary and a view. Boom! Suck on that, squares!

Go to the Doctor - I haven't been to visit a doctor in over a decade. Yeah, 9/11 changed everything, including my interest in my health and wellbeing.

But I figure that with healthcare being such a pressing issue for most Americans and possibly an issue that defines the next Presidential election, I should probably see what all the fuss is about. So I plan on a) finding a doctor b) paying a visit and c) getting the full work up. I want blood tests, cat scans, MRIs, pap smears and paternity tests. I want a battery of tests.

Get an iPhone - My biggest regret in life is that I never gave Steve Jobs my money for an iPhone while he was still alive. I've got my MacBook Pro and my AppleTV, but I'm really only missing the iPhone.

And now that Sprint has the iPhone I've got no excuse for not having one. So, my plan is to totally get one for myself around Valentine's Day. It's going to be my gift to myself, because I figure if you're going to throw away a wad of cash on February 14, you might as well invest in something you're going to use everyday and will keep around for a couple years.

Clean the Blog of Clutter - Seriously, have you looked around this place? I'm pretty sure that some of the "Blogs We Like..." are defunct. I know for a fact that our tags could be updated and possibly culled. I'm also betting that we could probably refresh the "Important Posts" column.

So, yeah, expect some blog-cleaning within the next 12 months.

Give Rick Ross a Shot - For years Jay1 has been pestering me to "give Rick Ross a shot." Literally years. I want to say that first he tried to sell me on Rick Ross' beats. I think I was complaining about the lack of sampling and the prevalence of synth beats, and his pitch went "you'd like Rick Ross, he's got those beats you want to hear. "

Like six months later, I was commenting on how wack most of the emcees out at the time were, to which Jay1 responded "you need to get up on Rick Ross, he's a pure spitter."

And from that point on, every six months, Jay1 would offer up Rick Ross as the cureall for my Hip-Hop blues. Well, 2012 is the year I follow his advice. Probably.

Read Decoded - So, I bought Jay-Z's tome when it was released. I bought it for a couple of reasons. I wanted to support Jay-Z. I also wanted to look cool if anyone happened to come over to Casa de Serpico and glanced at my coffee table.

The thing is, I never read the book. I tried, by flipping though Jay-Z "decoding" one of his songs. He lost me by trying to puff up the complexity of his rhymes and meanings. I literally scoffed while reading it.

Since putting it down, I've picked up and finished the 656 page Live From New York, detailing the origins and history of Saturday Night Life. But I really think 2012 is the year that I give Decoded another shot. And I'll probably milk it for blog material too.

Finish My Great American Novel - Everyone's got a novel in them and mine is the next great American novel. It will be taught in college courses around the globe and will be the new standard by which all other novels are judged.

It's basically completely written. The only thing is that I don't have names for any of the characters. They're called "Male 1" and "Female 1" and so on. I just can't come up with names that really capture who the character are. So, 2012 is the year that I name the characters in my novel. And hopefully get published.

And there you have my Resolutions for 2012. They're bound to make me a better person, if only because it'd be rather difficult for me to be a worse one.

Sunday Morning Quarterback – Charles Barkley & Kelly Clarkson

2012-01-08T02:30:00.003-05:00

Jay1 and I were just talking about the period of SNL that we both sort of consider to be the golden age. We’re huge fans of the Carvey/Myers/Hartman/Nealon/Miller/Hooks/Lovitz (and others) era. To us it felt like SNL was one show that consisted of like 20 different shows. There was Massive Head Wound Harry, Sprockets, Lyle the Effeminate Heterosexual.

We loved them all.

In some ways this week’s episode of Saturday Night Life, featuring Charles Barkley & Kelly Clarkson, harkened back to that era of the show.

(Our rating system as always)

Phil Hartman – Comedic gold
Chris Farley – Definitely funny, but kinda messy
Norm MacDonald – Funny, but not for everyone
Tim Meadows – Solid Bit
Andy Samberg – Funny, but overstayed it’s welcome
Jim Breuer- Crowd pleaser, but a bit obvious
David Spade – Trying too hard
Chris Elliot – Didn’t click at all, how did it get on

Message from Rick Santorum – The idea of Santorum as a vagabond is kind of funny, but the execution of this big left a ton to be desired. This bit felt like it went on too long. It’s disappointing that after an extended break, the show opens on such a sour note.

Rating: Andy Samberg, David Spade

Monologue – Barkley’s monologue was pretty funny. It was self deprecating and was a genuine monologue. No one from the cast came out to give a helping hand, he did it on his own. It felt like an old school monologue.

Rating: Tim Meadows, Chris Farley

Chantix – Funny commercial. It didn’t go overboard with Wiig acting out the side effects. Obviously Jazz Hands and Robert DeNiro face were funny. But the “use caution while operating spaceships” was the one that really slayed me.

Rating: Jim Breuer, Tim Meadows

Inside the NBA – Initially I was worried this was going to be one of those skits where the person being impersonated confronts the impersonator, so I was relieved when Barkley was revealed to be playing Shaq. Hader’s Ernie Johnson was spot on and Barkley’s Shaq was funny because of the history between the two of them. Keenan’s Barkley is as funny as always and honestly, I was just surprised to see the two Black cast members and the Black host in the same sketch. The funniest part was probably seeing Pharoah and Keenan almost lose it when Hader’s joke about “Black friends” either gets mangled or bombed.

Rating: Chris Farley, Tim Meadows

White People Problems – Glad to see SNL writers are using trending topics on twitter to base sketches on. It was an interesting sketch that could have been subtitled “and Black Stereotypes.” Honestly it felt like the writers were trying to balance out the poking fun at white people by poking fun at Blacks in equal measure. I will say that Taran Killan’s yuppie inflection is mad funny and probably the highlight of the sketch.

Rating: Jim Breuer, Tim Meadows

ESPN Bowl Madness – This is a funny bit, but it felt very throwaway. There wasn’t a performance other than the voiceover and it wasn’t particularly clever. It almost felt like a sketch by way of madlibs. The Trojan minis was funny though.

Rating: Jim Breuer, Andy Samberg

Joanne Comes Out – First off, at this point Keenan’s been in every skit so far. Second off, Paul Brittan alert! Thirdly, I really dug the absurdity of this sketch. It felt almost Kids in the Hall-esque. I really loved how they sort of incorporated Barkley’s stilted delivery and used it to their advantage. I thought it was genuinely funny.

Rating: Norm MacDonald, Tim Meadows

Charles Barkley Post Game Translator App - This was pretty funny, because it used Barkley’s rep for frankness. I’m sure I’m not alone in wishing this app actually existed.

Rating: Tim Meadows

Kelly Clarkson Performance #1 – Kelly Clarkson is quietly a guilty pleasure of mine. I blame it on my time spent in Las Vegas. I was curious about her band set up. She literally had four guitars on stage with her, and a key-tar.

Weekend Update – I’m not going to front, I was totally going to write this up as the worst Update of the year. Seth’s jokes just didn’t have enough zing for me. And Wiig’s Michelle Bachmann was just acceptable. But then we got the pornstar Oatmeal Raisin. And then Nicholas Fehn came out. I love Armisen’s riffing as Fehn and I loved how he evolved the character this time out. And then we got Drunk Uncle, my favorite new character? “I wanna kindle my boyfriend.” Really strong performances from Armisen and Moynihan.

Cecil – Nice to see Sudekis pop in for an appearance. And we get Paul Brittan again, this time playing a central character? Nice. Funny character and great reaction from the other characters. I really hope that Cecil is Brittan’s breakout character on the show. And Tarrington the Footman was also a pretty funny aspect of the bit. What I really loved was how the sketch had no ending. Sometimes it’s wack, but with a nutty sketch like this it works.

Rating: Norm MacDonald, Chris Farley

Adult Video Awards In Memoriam – Funny bit with minor performances. Moynihan’s Ron Jeremy was almost as pervy as the real thing. Clearly you can’t go wrong with porn names, but the behind the scenes guys and their photos cracked me up. Armisen’s screenwriter Ted Hennessy seemed like such a sadsack, while Dean Dwyer the Set Designer had me in stitches. And Frank the Foot was icing on the cake. This was a performance piece and it worked.

Rating: Jim Breuer, Phil Hartman

Digital Short: Convoluted Jerry – This would have been funnier if the character of Convoluted Jerry weren’t dressed so ridulously. If visually the character was more lame than goofy, it would have worked better. It just felt like it was trying too hard and the visual of the character was overcompensating for a weak premise. Even Barkley felt wedged into the sketch.

Rating: Andy Samberg, David Spade

Kelly Clarkson Performance #2 – Totally zoned out, couldn’t tell you anything about this.

Mayan Calendar – I liked the premise of Armisen and Hader trying to pitch the Mayan Calendar to the elders of the tribe. I also liked how pedestrian it is. I’m enjoy putting modern archetypes into historical settings. I genuinely find it funny. I liked how square Armisen’s character was. It was a funny sketch, not the funniest final sketch of the year, but a decent offering. And the absurd ending of the calendar talking pushed into good territory.

Rating: Tim Meadows, Jim Breuer.

Final Thoughts – I’ll admit to being totally surprised by the absence of women in most sketches this week. I was equally surprised not only by Jay Pharoah and Keenan being in back to back sketches before midnight, but also by Paul Brittan having a couple big roles this episode. Armisen and Moynihan completely salvaged Weekend Update. Barkley did a fine job hosting. It was a pretty enjoyable episode al the way around.

Preview - House of Lies

2012-01-06T02:35:00.002-05:00

Mad Men is an award-winning show that critics love to gush over. 2011 saw the first two Mad Men clones churned out by network television. ABC and NBC offered up Pan Am and The Playboy Club, respectively. Only Pan Am is still on the air.

With Showtime's House of Lies, starring Don Cheadle, we have another show rife with Mad Men's DNA.

House of Lies features Don Cheadle as Marty Kaan the head of a management consultant firm. Kaan is successful, we know this because he explicitly tells the audience that he makes "seven figures a year." He's the head of his firm which also includes Kristen Bell, Ben Schwartz and Josh Lawson.

But Kaan isn't just about business. He's also a supportive father to a son sorting out his gender identity. He's got an ex-wife who heads up a rival management consultant firm. Oh and he's clearly yet to cope with his mother's suicide.

The thrust of the pilot is that Kaan and company have been brought in to woo a client with a huge problem. The client is partially responsible for the great mortgage collapse, but they still want to get their huge bonuses. Kaan comes in and gives them a plan to have their cake and eat it too.

House of Lies looks great. It's well shot and stylized. For instance throughout the episode, the action will freeze and Kaan breaks the fourth wall providing exposition and explaining specific terms and jargon.

The performances are equally solid. Schwartz continues the schtick that's gotten him this far while Bell plays her Jeannie Van Der Hooven as a modern woman who can hang with the boys, but still wants to be a mom somewhere down the line. Josh Lawson is also in the show, not doing much, but it's just the pilot.

Where House of Lies falters is that, at least for the pilot, it feels almost like an adaptation of Mad Men in a modern setting. In the Mad Men pilot dashing (and womanizing) ad executive Don Draper single-handedly comes up with a way to salvage marketing for a reviled tobacco company. In House of Lies dashing (and womanizing) management consultant Marty Kaan single-handedly comes up with a way to salvage bonuses for a reviled Wall Street firm.

It's that feeling of deja vu that really keeps House of Lies from being truly enjoyable. At this point we've all seen Don Draper come through in a meeting with a client and score with the perfect pitch, so when Kaan does it, albeit with more profanity and a power point presentation, it feels stale.

Hopefully House of Lies will move beyond being Mad Men clone and into something fresh and innovative.

Monday Munchies - Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Cranberry Pumpkin Spice

2012-01-02T08:53:00.000-05:00

It's pretty well established that I love ice cream. Not only do I keep my freezer stocked, Louis C.K. style, but I also frequently write about ice cream for the blog. Plus there are easily half a dozen different flavors I've tired that weren't quite blog material.

So it should surprise no one that when I saw Häagen-Dazs' fancy purple lid advertising Cranberry Pumpkin Spice, I quickly grabbed up two pints.

Ok, 28 FL OZ, because Häagen-Dazs doesn't do pints anymore.

Would a Thanksgiving themed flavor work in the lull between X-mas and the New Year?

I'll admit to being especially curious about Cranberry Pumpkin Spice as a flavor. Generally I'm not really much on Thanksgiving. To me it's just another day off. Until this year I hadn't had a "traditional" Thanksgiving in close to a decade. It's just not my thing.

But I had one this year and it was awesome! Even the stuff I was leery about, like the cranberry sauce, was banging. Which brings us back to ice cream.

Even though I saw this flavor on last Wednesday, I was still basking in the glow of the glorious Thanksgiving I'd experienced, so I was extremely eager to try the flavor out.

According to the package it's "pumpkin ice cream balanced with swirls of tart cranberry filling, then lightly spiced with cinnamon and nutmeg." But to me it tasted like heaven.

Cranberry Pumpkin Spice is easily one of the best flavors of ice cream I've ever tasted. It's so perfectly balanced that you could easily get carried away and eat an entire pint. I mean "an entire 14 FL OZ container."

Perhaps one of the reasons I enjoy it so much is because it's not a sweet ice cream. The pumpkin flavor is quite mellow and burst of cranberry really compliments the smoothness of the whole affair. The hint of cinnamon and nutmeg bring a warmth that most ice cream flavors lack. And this paragraph describe every bite, it's that consistent.

I know it sounds weird, but Cranberry Pumpkin Spice would be the perfect ice cream to enjoy on a cold night while sitting by a glowing fireplace and reading a book. Cranberry Pumpkin Spice is like my favorite sweatshirt; it's comforting, familiar and I'll be devastated when I can't find it.

It's a Limited Edition, so believe me when I say that I'll be keeping four containers in my freezer at all times.

I highly urge you to go out, find Häagen-Dazs' Cranberry Pumpkin Spice and experience what perfect tastes like.

Revisiting Revisiting Resolutions

2011-12-30T08:16:00.000-05:00

You all know of New Years Resolutions work. Around the first of the year everyone makes hollow promises to themselves (and occasionally others) to become better people.

Resolutions typically include any of the following; losing weight, eating better, quitting smoking, giving up "hard" drugs, wearing condoms when shagging prostitutes and divesting from the trafficking of humans

Roughly a year ago I offered up my resolutions. Six months ago I revisited them. Now that the procrastinations done, let's see how things shook out.

(But since no one wants to end the year on a down note, I've taken the liberty of revising some of my more lofty resolutions resolutions to more reasonable deeds.)

Write More - I did write more. There was basically a post every other day in 2011. That's quite the improvement over 2010. I'm totally willing to call this one a success.

Get a TV - Yup, I got this one covered. I've got a tv. Now I can watch shows like Community and 30 Rock on something that's not my laptop.

~~Impregnate a Chick~~ Try Out Netflix - Jay1 had been trying to get me to give Netflix a shot for awhile, but I never felt the urge. And then Netflix began it's marketing deluge where they advertised a one month free trial. So I did that.

Twice.

And then there was the whole fiasco where Netflix and Qwkster split and tons of people were burned. I decided not to continue on with Netflix. But for those two free trials I watched some good movies, some interesting movies and some horrible flicks. Oh and some good shows. Good times.

~~Get My Tattoo Finished~~ Finish Super Mario Wii - I'm a pretty big fan of the Mario franchise. Except for Super Mario 64, I've pretty much enjoyed all of the Super Mario games. When I heard Super Mario was coming to the Wii, I got hyped.

And Super Mario Wii totally delivered. It was like old school Mario action, but with updated challenges and abilities. It was awesome! And I beat it. I saved the Princess. Seriously, I can not tell you how gratifying saving her was.

~~Get the F&S Podcast Started~~ Get the Sunday Morning Quarterback Started - Sunday Morning Quarterback was something we'd discussed for a couple years now. Jay1, being a huge SNL-head, would always recap episodes and give his critiques to me after they aired. And he'd also tell me about neo-classic sketches that I thought I should get to know.

In 2010, Sunday Morning Quarterback was supposed to be up, but scheduling got in the way. So when SNL premiered this year, I just jumped on it and made it happen. While Sunday Morning Quarterback isn't perfect, it's a decent approximation of what we were trying to do.

Finish Building My Time Machine - Ok, so I did actually complete this one. The thing is; I'm afraid to turn it on.

So the prevailing theory about time travel is that when it become a viable technology, time machines would only be able to go back as far back as when time travel became possible.

Since I've got a time machine, I'm afraid that once I turn it on, everyone from the future that wanted to go back in time as far as possible will instantly show up in the present. I don't know what kind of pressure that will put on the time/space continuum, nor do I know how that would affect reality. And honestly I'm not that eager to find out. So for now that switch remains unflicked.

~~Visit the Planet of the Apes~~ Watch Rise of the Planet of the Apes - I totally saw it. And it was totally awesome. I loved everything about it. In fact thanks to this post, I remembered that it's out on dvd and I need to cop it so I can watch it again in the comfort of my own home.

So there you have my Resolutions for 2011. I think I did a pretty fine job with them.

Unfortunately 2012 is right around the corner, which means I've got to set goals on how to better myself in the next 367 days.

Hellblazer: Pandemonium

2011-12-24T08:40:00.002-05:00

Little known fact; in our archive is a half-written Point/Counterpoint about the movie Constantine. At the time it was written I believed Constantine to be the worst movie adaptation of a comic book.

Of course in 2011 that distinction now belongs to Green Lantern.

I'm not a huge Hellblazer fanboy, but I do dig the exploits of John Constantine. Hellblazer: Pandemonium got me curious. While I'm not really a fan of the supernatural, I do like Jock's art. Plus I'd heard Jamie Delano was quite a scribe.

But sometimes a graphic novel can be a chore. I've read more than a few of them that bored me to tears. And given that I was pretty much unaware of Jamie Delano's work before this, I'll admit to being a pinch worried.

The story starts, like most of Constantine's exploits, in London. Actually the story starts in Iraq in the aftermath of a terrorist attack. But then we're transported to London, where Constantine is dreaming. He dreams informs his present and his future.

Out of sorts Constantine stumbles about town and ends up on the train where he meets up with mysterious woman. She lures him to a museum where another terrorist attack takes place.

From there Constantine and the mysterious woman get wrapped up international affairs that result in them going to Iraq to sort things out.

Pandemonium is full of classic Constantine moments. For instance in the museum, when John takes reads on the people he passes. Later there's a great scene where he turns the tables on his interrogator. And of course Constantine is always pulling sleight of hand moves and cons over everyone, which never gets old. This story makes me want to pick up those early Hellblazer trades to see more of Jamie Delano's work.

Jock's art might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I'm a fan. I loved his work on The Losers and his covers for Scalped. And his recent run on Detective was out of this world. So, seeing him illustrate an entire Constantine story was a thrill. Especially how he tackled the whole Iraq setting. Jock's illustrations make you feel the heat and practically choke on the dust.

This graphic novel is good stuff. Check it out.

The Rubicon Conspiracy

2011-12-22T08:25:00.000-05:00

I like watching TV. Sometimes it's for entertainment like when I watch Fringe or Parks and Recreation. Sometimes it transcends entertainment and becomes inspiration like Mad Men and Breaking Bad.

I'm always on the lookout for a good new show. Given my love for Mad Men and Breaking Bad I was very interested in Rubicon. It was AMC's third foray into original programming. Chances were, I was going to enjoy it.

I didn't feel like giving Rubicon the iTunes "season pass" treatment because it was such an unknown quantity. I did manage to catch the pilot. I don't know if it was free from iTunes or on AMC's website, but I watched it and I enjoyed it.

I liked how taut the drama was. I enjoyed the acting and how dull the colors were. It always felt overcast, at least in the pilot. I dug the mood that the show set and I thought it was pretty well cast.

But again, I didn't get a chance to watch it when it was on. No one I knew watched it, but Rubicon did get some solid write ups so I made up my mind that I was going to end up picking it up when it came out on dvd.

And then AMC cancelled it. Rubicon wasn't a ratings success, so the network pulled the plug.

Still, I figured I'd give the show a shot on dvd. And then I promptly forgot all about it. But when I was writing up Terriers, it jogged my memory. Because while Terriers isn't available on dvd, I can still get the complete and total first and only season from iTunes (which is something I plan on doing as a Christmas gift to myself.)

Anyway, this caused me to wonder "whatever happened to Rubicon?" I looked for Rubicon on iTunes and found nothing but some crappy music. So I looked around the internet and unfortunately "Rubicon" is an incredibly common word. But the end result was that Rubicon isn't on dvd either.

In fact when I went to the Rubicon page on AMC's site, I got this message?

Seriously? What kind of garbage is that? AMC is basically saying "um, you can't buy the show digitally from a service or website, nor will it come out via disc form. If you missed it; oh well."

That's some crap, especially in this digital age of entertainment "on demand." To deny is practically an unforgivable sin. It's absurd.

Basically, I'm looking for Rubicon and since AMC won't allow me to buy it legally, I'm totally down to cop a bootleg. So, anyone reading this if you've got the show or know someone who does, just drop me a line.

Five Dope Albums I Discovered In 2011

2011-12-21T08:24:00.000-05:00

Every year I buy and listen to dozens of albums. And every year I compile a list of my ten favorite albums of that year. And every year I fall in love with an album that doesn't make that list because it was released in a previous year.

What can I say; I'm not perfect. I don't have a chance to buy every album released every year. Some stuff is going to slip through the cracks.

But this year decided to try to rectify my careless overlooking of such albums by giving them some shine.

Innerspeaker - Tame Impala

You wouldn't really think that I'd dig psychedelic rock. I've never been into Pink Floyd not understood their allure. But the Australian Tame Impala just spoke to me when I saw them on Fallon. They played "Why Won't You Make Up Your Mind?" and I was mesmerized.

Innerspeaker was definitely one of my favorite albums I got this year. It was in heavy rotation for a solid two weeks. It was literally my "go to" album for whatever I was doing. It was my soundtrack.

The album opener "It Is Not Meant To Be" sets the tone, with other highlights being "Lucidity" and the aforementioned "Why Won't You Make Up Your Mind?" And the limited edition version of the album comes with a plethora of bonus tracks and remixes.

The album is great. That's really just it.

The Knot - Wye Oak

This is another band I got acquainted with via late night television, only this time it was Carson Daly's show. Wye Oak got the spotlight and I was intrigued. The duo hailed from Charm City, which was a plus, because how can you not root for fellow Baltimoreans?

One of the songs they performed was "For Prayer" which essentially haunted me for a month. Every couple of days the melody would creep into my subconscious, to the point where I had to track the album down.

And as much as I enjoyed "For Prayer", The Knot is pretty much an album full of high points. Every other song strikes a powerful chord on another part of the spectrum. It's a really balanced album and one I wish I'd heard when it was originally released.

Love, Hate and Then There's You - The Von Bondies

This is the album I regret sleeping on the most. I like to consider myself a fan of The Von Bondies. I've got all of the albums and I enjoy the musical sensibilities. But I've got no clue how this album slipped through my radar.

With Love, Hate and Then There's You the band crafted an album designed to capitalize on the success of "C'mon, C'mon." It's an album that's catchier than previous releases, but it doesn't feel like they're selling out or reaching for an audience, it feels like a band growing.

And it's such a good album. I really wish I could explain a) why I'd never heard anything about it and b) how it no one else was raving about it's awesomeness.

Pickin' Up The Pieces - Fitz & the Tantrums

I saw Fitz & the Tantrums perform on Conan and I was smitten. I loved their style and sound. I loved their confidence and retro cool. I knew I wanted to be down with this band.

I copped Pickin' Up The Pieces and I wasn't disappointed. It was an album full of throwback vibes and genuine songwriting. It was refreshing. It wasn't slavishly loyal to a bygone aesthetic like some Daptone releases occasionally feel like. Rather, Fitz & the Tantrums seem inspired by the past to create something new.

Of course since then, Fitz & the Tantrums have blown up. They're on video countdown shows and have made several late night appearances. I'm happy for their success and only saddened that I wasn't up on them earlier. Oh and that I missed them in concert.

Teen Dream - Beach House

This was and album that was on several of 2010's "best of" lists, which made me curious about it. I honestly wanted to see what all of the fuss was about. Also the fact that they're another B-more band got my juices flowing.

This was another album that got the heavy rotation treatment. What's really funny is how I'd just find myself spacing out to this album. I'd let my mind drift and it'd go off to chill places.

The album closer "Take Care" was almost hypnotic. Some days I'd find myself humming it to myself and when I'd become aware of what I was humming it'd put a smile on my face. Teen Dream was just a cool album.

And there you have it. Call it my "late pass" or "the best of what I missed." I can't really think of a phrase that encapsulates it, but those are five albums that I loved this year that won't make my "best of 2012" list.

Maybe next year I'll have a name for it.

X-Men Noir: Mark of Cain

2011-12-20T08:54:00.002-05:00

I was a pretty big fan of the original X-Men Noir miniseries. I dug the whole putting familiar characters in a vastly different setting. Sure it was pretty much just biting Elseworlds, but the whole "noir" setting made it unique enough.

Given how much I enjoyed the original, the thought of Fred Van Lente and Dennis Calero returning with a follow up was very enticing. Would they be able to recapture the magic that the first mini held or would they buckle under the pressure of expectations?

The book starts off weirdly. Actually it starts off with scenes from a newsreel detailing the Senate Hearing on Genosha Bay. The allusion to be drawn is to Guantanamo Bay and that point is nailed home with all of the subtlety of a Michael Bay flick. We see water-boarding and we hear about how dangerous the criminals held there are.

From there we are transported across the world to find the familiar faces of Tommy, Logan and Scott searching for a sacred temple. Later there's a thwarted deal and a chase which results in a pretty clever play on the "all new all different" X-Men.

Unfortunately the final page of the first issue is the highlight of the entire mini. From there story lines and motivations become muddled. There are crosses and double crosses. We find out things we thought were true aren't true. Honestly, it's a confusing mess.

Calero's art makes it enjoyable to look at. Calero really revels in the shadows and he uses them to his advantage. And his redesigns of the X-characters for the noir world are equally impressive.

Sadly Van Lente's story just misses the mark. It's like he was trying to be too ambitious and set his sights too high. It feels like he wanted to cram the story full of clever twists, but he just ends up giving the reader whiplash.

Basically, X-Men Noir: Mark of Cain is a disappointment. After reading it I can totally understand why Marvel stopped producing the Noir line.

Monday Missing Munchies - Häagen-Dazs' Peppermint Bark

2011-12-19T08:07:00.001-05:00

One of the cooler aspects of the holidays is that "seasonal" flavors get released. I know people who crave a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks and I myself am a huge fan of sweet potato pie.

But one of my true delights this time of year is Häagen-Dazs' Peppermint Bark. I love it and it's only available from November to the end of December. So when it's out not only do a gorge myself, but I tend to stock up as well.

My love for Häagen-Dazs' Peppermint Bark can be traced back to my childhood. I've got fond memories of going to the Häagen-Dazs shop in the Foothills Mall with Ma Serpico and tasting various flavors. It'd certainly one of those quintessential "childhood" moments.

Ma Serpico was also the first to introduce me to peppermint ice cream. I couldn't tell you the brand name, but I can vividly remember the joy of eating ice cream and crunching the pieces of peppermint it contained.

As I got older I became seduced by Häagen-Dazs and Ben & Jerry's with their variety of flavors and unique flavor profiles. But I never forgot the childhood delight of peppermint ice cream.

So, a couple years back when I felt like recapturing my youth I stumbled across Häagen-Dazs's Peppermint Bark. It seemed like a match made in heaven; a brand I trusted with a flavor I'd seemingly been craving.

I quickly found out that it wasn't quite perfect. I'd never encountered "peppermint bark" before so the ice cream made for a powerful introduction. I wasn't prepared for the white chocolate nor the sweetness it added to the affair. But I did get the peppermint ice cream and peppermint pieces I'd been searching for, so it was pretty much a success.

Given that it's part of Häagen-Dazs' "Limited Edition", when it was in season I'd usually keep two pints in the fridge at all times and do my best to stock up before it went away. Honestly, you never know when Peppermint Bark might be just the ice cream to hit the spot.

Imagine it's a sweltering day in July, you've just had a hellacious day at work and the only thing that can even out your day is Peppermint Bark ice cream. Unfortunately, that flavor hasn't been in stores for seven months. You're totally screwed.

Well, I never wanted that to be me.

But I can't find Häagen-Dazs Peppermint Bark anywhere this year. I've been to two of my regular ice cream destinations and neither of them have shown any signs of Peppermint Bark. Whole Foods is usually quite good at stocking current flavors and I've been coming up short for weeks. As for my Safeway...it's not there either.

It sucks because not only does Peppermint Bark take me back to my childhood and help me get into the festive feel of things, but it's also just a good flavor.

I miss it dearly.

Sunday Morning Quarterback – Jimmy Fallon & Michael Buble

2011-12-18T02:51:00.004-05:00

Jay1 and I thought long and hard about this episode last week. We debated it back and forth. We couldn’t quite figure out if we were excited that Jimmy Fallon was returning or disappointed he was coming back.

We agree that Fallon can be funny, but he was often most funny when he was breaking in a sketch. And he didn’t really have all that many characters that we couldn’t wait for him to revisit. Still, he was fearless and would go the distance for comedy. Basically; we had no idea what this episode would hold.

(As usual, here’s our rating system)

Phil Hartman – Comedic gold
Chris Farley – Definitely funny, but kinda messy
Norm MacDonald – Funny, but not for everyone
Tim Meadows – Solid Bit
Andy Samberg – Funny, but overstayed it’s welcome
Jim Breuer- Crowd pleaser, but a bit obvious
David Spade – Trying too hard
Chris Elliot – Didn’t click at all, how did it get on

Sully & Denise Cold Open – Opening with a throwback character is a bold choice. And I’m not going to lie; I was genuinely curious what Patrick Sullivan had been up to in the past decade. Just as in the past, this sketch was well written. And seeing Amy Pohler and Rachael Dratch again was pretty dope. This sketch pretty much just coasted on nostalgia.

Rating: Tim Meadows

Monologue – This was a weird mixture of elements. On one hand it’s the “walking monologue” one of the monologues that’s entirely underused recently. On another it’s Fallon with a guitar, which is sort of like a returning character. The Hanukkah verse was dope and it was cool seeing Lorne, because I haven’t seen him in forever. It was a fun monologue, but not really funny.

Rating: Jim Breuer

Today Show – This was a weird sketch. It barely featured Fallon who a) is funny and b) is hosting. It almost felt like a throwaway sketch someone had in a draw that needed an ending so they tossed Regis in. Maybe Fallon was doing a favor for a struggling writer or maybe he was being selfless and ceded his screen time to Nasim Pedrad and Kristen Wiig. Either way, the sketch just seemed off. When Fallon shoved Pedrad it did look mad funny.

Rating: David Spade, Jim Breuer

Michael Buble’s Christmas Duets – Decent bit. But coming off the heels of last week’s two sketches that revolved around minor impressions, it felt a bit redundant. Fallon’s Justin Bieber must have been a revelation to anyone who hasn’t seen him do it weekly on his show. But his Russell Brand was spot on, Wiig’s Taylor Swift was funny and Fred Armisen’s Thom Yorke was solid. Also we out look at Jay Pharoah for the week.

Rating: Jim Breuer, Andy Samberg

Dressing Room Sketch – Initially I was excited about this, because I thought Fallon was resurrecting the forgotten “host in a dressing room” sketch. Instead we get Fallon poking fun at himself via Andy Samberg. Turns out “Jimmy Fallon” isn’t all that funny.

Rating: Andy Samberg, Jim Breuer

Christmas Dinner Party – This sketch looked as though it were another vehicle for Wiig to chew scenery, but it really wasn’t that bad. Fallon and Wiig were equally nutty and the deflating of expectations was perfect. Wrap it up with an absurd ending and you’ve got a sketch that’s solid. Also "Freggie" is an awesome name.

Rating: Norm MacDonald, Tim Meadows

Tommy Palmese – This sketch was brilliant. I loved the pull quotes. I loved the embracing of awkward humor. I loved that I felt like I could actually see that play somewhere off Broadway tomorrow if I wanted to. I also loved how empty the theater was. This was gold. I want to see “Half Jewish, Half Italian, Completely Neurotic.”

Rating: Phil Hartman, Norm MacDonald

Seasons Greeting: Cool little throwback. I remember how dope the first one of these was back in the day. It was so weird and unexpected. And then it became a tradition, so I’m glad to see it appropriately return tonight. It was dope seeing everyone play their parts again.

Michael Buble Performance #1 – I can’t front; I totally zone out on this one. I completely missed it. Maybe it was his crooning and how it soothed me into a lull like I’d never experienced, but I can’t recall anything about this performance. Not even what song he sang.

Weekend Update – This was oddly disappointing. I’m not the biggest fan of Get In The Cage, but I enjoyed the Paul Brittan cameo (he actually got to speak this week!.) And having Amy Pohler, Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon join Seth on Update was the moment everyone expected. On a side note; I think Tina Fey won. The hottest gift is the crumpled twenty dollar bill, and “Barbie and Barbie…and crabs” were the best joke to my ear.

Beethoven – This bit slayed me! First off, I liked how Beethoven’s “band” was playing “Tighten It Up.” That totally tickled me. Fallon totally sold his front man persona. The corny jokes that were period perfect, his dance move and his MC bravado were perfect. Even the individual solos were funny. And Horatio playing Mozart was funny. I saw no flaw with one.

Rating: Phil Hartman, Chris Farley

War Horse – This sketch became oddly meta for me. I was much like the couple watching Warm Horse; at first I found the sketch off-putting but by the end I was cheering along. Honestly things got much better after the intermission. It when we’re introduced to Taran Killam’s awesome German accent. It where we see Keenan’s puppetry and its’ when the horse talks. This was good business.

Rating: Tim Meadows, Norm MacDonald

Michael Buble Performance #2 – There’s something about Michael Buble that makes me thing he’s pulling a joke over on everyone. Like he knows something the rest of us don’t. It’s his smile that’s almost a smirk. Yes he’s got a soothing voice, but his smirk is distracting and damn near sinister.

Tim Tebow Meets Jesus – First off; Sudekis plays The Devil and Jesus? That’s dope. Secondly, Killam’s Tebow his hilarious in a one-dimensional sort of way. Sudekis can totally carry a sketch like this. And it’s really funny. But, why isn’t the host in the sketch? Did Fallon object to the ragging on Tebow’s religious beliefs? You heard the rumor here first.

Rating: Norm MacDonald, Tim Meadows

Final Thoughts – This was a decent episode considering the returning alumni host had very few reoccurring characters to revisit. Fallon did a good job of sharing with the current cast and bringing former cast members back. Of course given his history, there were expectations that weren’t quite reached, but all in all it wasn’t a disappointed episode. The highs were quite high and the lows were barely lows. That said, Fallon’s absence from the final sketch is quite curious.

Martian Manhunter: American Secrets

2011-12-16T08:55:00.000-05:00

Eduardo Barreto, a renowned comic book artist from Uruguay, passed away yesterday. He was 57.

I was a fan of his art. He illustrated one of my favorite comics of all time; The Unauthorized Biography of Lex Luthor. I was recently able to track down Martian Manhunter: American Secrets, a 1992 miniseries he created with Gerard Jones.

American Secrets is a story set in 1959 that features beatniks, malevolent aliens in dapper suits, the power of television and a wide ranging conspiracy. It's quite the read and actually ahead of it's time.

The story opens with John Jones cradling a critically wounded beatnik, whose cryptic last words set Jones out to solve a mystery that involves America's biggest television shows. It's a story full of cold war paranoia and "American values."

American Secrets really revels in it's time with John Jones. He gets the most screen time, as a result when he transforms into the Martian Manhunter, those scenes and images really pack a punch. We also get to J'onn in both his super heroic form and in his naturalistic Martian form. It's really a stunning transformation every time it happens.

The villains are creepy. They're lizard men with lizard pets. They're physically able to hold their own against J'onn, which creates plenty of drama. Additionally they know his weakness is open flame, which is a weapon they utilize often. It makes for some harrowing escapes and battles.

Gerard Jones does a great job of capturing both the voices of the characters and the rhythms of the era. Characters "sound" like it's 1959, yet have their own distinct voices. You also get invested in the characters and quite a few of them don't survive. The story is a page turner, with a nice surprise at the end with the reveal of the mastermind behind the whole thing.

Barreto's art is just stellar. The designs of the characters are perfect for the era. Most people are clean cut and square, while those on the fringe of society have a bit more edge to them. But the outfits, the cuts of the suits and the hairstyles just scream 1950s.

And again, he's rendering of J'onn in his various forms is breathtaking. American Secrets is full of off-putting imagery and Bareto pulls it off every time. One of my favorite images is the one of a certain JSAer that closes out book two. It's just a powerful image.

I don't believe American Secrets every got collected in a trade, but you should probably be able to find the single issues in discount bins at you LCS. Pick them up; they're worth more than you'll be paying for them.

Also, you get a chance to see Eduardo Barreto's work at his prime.

My Road Atlas Journey

2011-12-15T08:10:00.000-05:00

So, the entire year I've been meaning to stock up on Calexico music. I'd managed to cop most of their studio albums and EPs throughout the year. The problem was that Calexico also had a series of "tour albums" self released joints that they sold at live shows.

As December approached it looked like I was going to strike out on my mission to collect Calexico. And then I found out about Road Atlas.

On Black Friday I was bored at work and decided to check out some of the sites that I know are work safe. One of those sites is Pause & Play. That's the place I go to on a regular basis to see what albums are out on any given Tuesday.

So, on Black Friday I check out Pause & Play and see that Calexico released something called Selections from Road Atlas. Now this intrigued me, because I'd never heard of Road Atlas.

Road Atlas is a 12 LP box set of Calexico's eight tour albums. It's four albums and four double albums. It's got a forty page booklet full of awesome pictures and essays. It's also limited to 1100 in the entire world.

It was released on 11/22 and I didn't even know it existed until 11/25.

As soon as I find out what it is, I try to track it down. Of course googling "Calexico, Road Atlas" churns up all sorts of results. Not only does it give me Selections from Road Atlas and Road Atlas, but also there are actually road atlases and Calexico is an actual geographic location.

I eventually sharpen up my google skills and find sites that are selling it. Unfortunately every site is sold out. I become dreadfully acquainted with the phrases "out of stock" and "item discontinued." It's frustrating.

To make matters worse, I'm not even 100% Road Atlas exists. I can't really find a trace of it and no one is selling it on ebay, which strikes me as odd because usually you can find at least one person selling exactly what you're looking for on ebay.

I even call Sound Garden, because I'd love to buy it from them, and it doesn't show up in their system. I go back to google. I'm like ten pages deep into results before I finally get a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel.

One site has Road Atlas in stock. I frantically thrust my credit card into the appropriate places and hit "sent." I get a confirmation email and then I wait.

And I wait.

And I wait.

Finally on 12/1, I give the site a call because I haven't been charged for my order and there's no indication that it's shipped. Furthermore, the page for Road Atlas on their site has vanished. Like gone completely. When I call them, the guy is way dismissive and tells me that the label has discontinued the product and they sent me an email telling me that my order has been cancelled.

At this point, I'm a weird mix of emotions. On one hand I'd disappointed that this thing I've been looking forward to getting won't be coming. On another hand I'm furious that I never received their email (it went to my junk mail.) But I'm also totally bummed that I've got an extra $150 and that I missed out on a chance to not only support a band, from Tucson, that I dig, but also on a bonafide collectors item.

When I get home that night I figure that I'll give it one more google search. I'm twenty pages in with nary a whiff of Road Atlas . I'm on the verge of being going full on modern day Don Music when I decide to switch tactics; I decide to use the "shopping" tab.

I hit it and I get two results, and one of them is Silver Platters.

Silver Platters has Road Atlas in stock.

Again, I frantically volunteer my pertinent information and get a confirmation email. The next day not only am I $150 poorer, but I get an email letting me know that my order has shipped. Two weeks after I learned of it's existence and initially ordered it, and one week after I finally found it in stock, Road Atlas arrives at the crib.

And it's totally worth every hoop I had to jump through.

I'll forever be indebted to Silver Platters and plan on being a loyal patron of theirs for the foreseeable future.

But yeah, Road Atlas is glorious, and I'm so glad I'm one of the lucky few who actually owns one.

Rat Catcher

2011-12-13T08:31:00.000-05:00

I dig Andy Diggle. I really enjoyed his Vertigo title (which later became a Hollywood flick) The Losers. He even had a pretty solid run on Hellblazer.

But sometimes a guy who writes comics can't really hit a home run when it comes to writing a graphic novel. Which is why I was pretty unsure about Diggle's Vertigo Crime offering Rat Catcher, featuring art by Victor Ibanez.

Rat Catcher is a crime story set in Texas. It involves two Federal Agencies the FBI and the Marshals Service as well as organized crime. Oh and there's the Rat Catcher an underworld enforcer who silences snitches.

When the Rat Catcher strikes again, killing a federal witness and those protecting him, Moses Burdon, the one agent who actually believed the Rat Catcher exists, thinks he can finally catch him.

And he's in luck because apparently the Rat Catcher was wounded in the attack and is now trying to cover his tracks by bringing it to Texas' underworld.

From there it's a cat and mouse chase between Burdon and his prey, with two U.S. Marshall getting in the way. Oh and then there's the matter of the Fed who's beholden to the Earl Rawlins, the underworld boss.

Honestly Rat Catcher has a ton of twists and turns, enough that I can't really go into any sort of detail when describing the story for fear of spoiling. I will say that Rat Catcher is a highly satisfying read. It's really quite thrilling.

Honestly, it's a book that I could totally see being adapted into a movie. It'd make for quite an awesome suspense thriller. Like seriously. You read it and you instantly see how it could play out on the big screen.

That's due in large part to Victor Ibanez's art. It's dynamic and incredibly fluid. Every character looks distinct and their expressions are so vibrant. When we first meet Burdon he's beaten and world weary, and Ibanez conveys it perfectly. And later when he's surprised, again, the art captures it.

I'm telling you that Rat Catcher will be made into a movie at some point down the line, so you should get up on it now so you can be ahead of the curve.

Monday Munchies - Snyder's of Hanover Dips (York Peppermint & Peanut Butter Varieties)

2011-12-12T08:50:00.001-05:00

I am sucker for an impulse buy. When I get to the checkout at the grocery store I'm keenly interested in what's new and what's being pushed. Usually it's nothing that interests me, but occasionally something catches my eye. It's how I find out about candy bars or new chips. It's also how I found out that Snyder's of Hanover had a new line of snacks.

Pretzels and chocolate? Um, count me in. I opted for the York Peppermint Pretzel Sandwich and the Peanut Butter Pretzel Sandwich.

Now, regular readers of the blog know that when it comes to snacks, there's nothing that gets me going more than salty and sweet. It's why I dig kettle corn. It's why I'm a fan of both Late Night Snack and Chubby Hubby.

So pretzels dipped in chocolate sound promising, no?

The first variety that I tried was the York Peppermint Pretzel Sandwich. I found the idea of combining York Peppermint and pretzel together intriguing. Chocolate and pretzel is old hat, but peppermint and pretzel,tell me more.

The thing that struck me immediately is that the pretzels lacked salt. So immediately I'm disappointed. The York Peppermint sandwiched between two pretzels and covered in dark chocolate would be so much better if the pretzels were salted.

The flavor of the peppermint overwhelms the slight flavor of pretzel. It basically just comes off as a York Peppermint patty with a crunch. It's cool, but not quite worth the hype.

Now onto the Peanut Butter Pretzel Sandwiches. These were pretzel/peanut butter sandwiches dipped in Hershey's Milk Chocolate. Again, the pretzels lacked salt and again my tongue is covered in disappointment.

But then something wonderful happens; the peanut butter shines through. It's savory enough that it balances out the milk chocolate covering the sandwich yet still manages to have enough sweetness that you actually crave another one.

There are actually two other varieties of Snyder's of Hanover Dips that I didn't pick up because I didn't want to overwhelm my palette. Maybe I'll cover them next week.

But for these two varieties I say everyone should give the Peanut Butter Dips a shot because they're quite good. The York Peppermint Dips are a taste that really one the fans of the brand will enjoy.

Um, yeah, that's all.

Sunday Morning Quarterback – Katy Perry & Robyn

2011-12-11T03:14:00.003-05:00

I didn’t have high hopes for this episode when it was announced. Katy Perry isn’t known for much around Fish and Spaghetti, but certainly not for her acting or comedic talents.

More often when not when a musician hosts they play straight man to recurring, which makes for a dismal episode of Saturday Night Life. Will that hold true this week?

(As usual, here’s our rating system)

Phil Hartman – Comedic gold
Chris Farley – Definitely funny, but kinda messy
Norm MacDonald – Funny, but not for everyone
Tim Meadows – Solid Bit
Andy Samberg – Funny, but overstayed it’s welcome
Jim Breuer- Crowd pleaser, but a bit obvious
David Spade – Trying too hard
Chris Elliot – Didn’t click at all, how did it get on

On The Record – Initially I was happy to see Darrell Hammond back and doing his Donald Trump impression. But it’s sort of wack and a flaw of the show that they have to bring back Hammond to pull this off. He’s the star of the sketch and the brought him in for it. It’s moderately funny, but not the strongest start ever.

Rating: Jim Breuer

Monologue: First off, I didn’t appreciate Katy Perry signaling to the band when to cut. You’re a pop star, they’re tenured musicians. Then you’ve got Kristen Wiig and Andy Samberg, who were in the cold open, returning for the monologue. Are they short staffed? And to top it off, the monologue isn’t even funny. It’s perhaps the weakest of the season. Wackness.

Rating: Chris Elliot

J-Pop America Funtime Now – According to Jay1 this is the most original use of a clichéd format in quite sometime. The “ridiculousness on camera offset by a sensible producer” format is well worn, but the setting made this feel more unique. Also Jason Sudekis and Fred Armisen were excellent characters to cut away to.

Rating: Norm MacDonald, Andy Samberg

The Apocalypse – This ad was topical, funny and well put together. The Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Penny Marshall impressions slayed me. Also, props to Jay Pharoah on his Cuba Gooding Jr, he looked nothing like the dude, but he sounded like him.

Rating: Tim Meadows

Kalle – This skit was awesome! Jay1 and I were talking about how this ep felt very Wiig heavy, but she killed this sketch. Her accent was dope and the concept was just weird enough. Katy Perry was the worst part of this skit, because her readings were so off. But, yeah, this one got a resounding cheer from Fish & Spaghetti.

Rating: Tim Meadows, Norm MacDonald

Digital Short: Best Friends – This was awesome. Like the best Digital Shorts is was weird, out of left field and snowballed into absurdity. Matt Damon and Val Kilmer cameos were awesome as was the acting by Samberg and Perry. Their reluctance was priceless.

Rating: Phil Hartman

Doggie Duty – I never get tired of Fred Armisen’s Randy Newman. Sudekis’ Meatloaf was equally funny. “They don’t like cats.” Points off for basically being the second collection of impressions this episode. Why was Clint Eastwood there?

Rating: Tim Meadows

Robyn Performance #1 – Honestly, the backing vocals were distracting. And Robyn didn’t look as lively as she does in person. Not my favorite song and not a good representation of how powerful a live performer Robyn actually is. Sort of disappointing.

Weekend Update – I dig Rebecca Larue. She was a funny character and a new character, though it felt like the writers being lazy. Again they throw up a loose idea and rely on Wiig to bring it to life. Also, how did I not know that Alec Baldwin had an awesome Southern accent in his back pocket? Jay1 didn’t like that they copped to him being Alec, I thought it was funny and worked. You can’t go wrong with Stefon. A Fish Called Kwanzaa? Doctors Without Boners. C’mon, that’s comedy.

Pippa Visits The Queen – I dig the surly Royals and I’m glad they returned. I love that the writers appreciate and can differentiate the classes in British culture. I really dig when Bill Hader and Armisen get gully. And, as reluctant as I am to say it, Perry held her own in this sketch.

Rating: Tim Meadows, Norm MacDonald

Politics Nation with Al Sharpton – This felt weird. To anyone who hasn’t seen the viral clip of Sharpton being horrible, this could just come off as a Black guy being a buffoon. But the clip is viral. Keenan Thompson does a pretty solid Al Sharpton.

Rating: Tim Meadows

Robyn Performance #2 – No joke, this is one of my favorite Robyn songs, so to have her perform it was cool. Everything was much better this time around. Also, I love the suits that her band wears.

One Magical Night – First off; Paul Brittan sighting! Secondly, the band really made this bit work. Backyard full of Kangaroos? Hilarious. But Moynihan and Perry also made the bit work. And that absurd ending was awesome. But quietly, Sudekis' song was the funniest bit in this sketch.

Rating: Norm MacDonald, Chris Farley

Final Thoughts: This episode started poorly but got much better really quickly. Strong filmed bit and strong performances by Wiig and Armisen really saved the day. The ep was Wiig heavy, but not to a detriment. Did Nasim Pedrad have the night off? And why’d Brittan only get a cameo in the final sketch? Considering the host was a musician with negligible talent, this was surprisingly strong.

Revisiting "Five Musical Acts I'm Trying to Get Up On in '11"

2011-12-07T08:48:00.001-05:00

So, like eight months ago I posted about the five musical acts I was going to do my best to get up on in 2011. I've got a ton of bands and artists that I'm trying to get into.

Some come from recommendations from friends. Some are bands that I've either seen on tv or as opening acts. And some I've just read about on wikipedia.

Anyway, my musical acts of 2011 were Calexico, Madlib, Vince Guaraldi Trio, Anathallo and A Fine Frenzy. Did I succeed?

Calexico

Ok, so I hadn't made any headway on Calexico all year. I'd totally been slacking, mostly because the only place to get Calexico's tour cds is either at a live show or ordering them from their website.

But then I found out Calexico was releasing all of their tour albums in a deluxe edition vinyl box set. It's called Road Atlas. And I've got en route to the crib. So by the time the year is out I should have this one pretty much done.

Madlib

So, one of the dope things about stopping by The Sound Garden every couple of months is that I'm usually there when someone sells off a huge collection. And that's what happened with Madlib.

I managed to find the entire Beat Konducta series as well as about half of his Yesterdays New Quintet stuff. I got seriously Madlib-ed out for like two weeks and I was in heaven. So, yeah, I made a huge dent in this one.

Vince Guaraldi Trio

This one was more of a challenge than I expected it to be. One thing I didn't really factor in that, despite how awesome The Sound Garden is, in this day and age, it doesn't make that much sense to devote a ton of space to jazz.

Furthermore, finding Vice Guaraldi Trio stuff on cd isn't all that easy in the first place. I've picked up a couple more cds but it's certainly something I'm going to have put more energy into in the future.

Anathallo

On this one I completely dropped the ball. Anathallo once had a section at The Sound Garden. And in that section they had both Floating World and Canopy Glow. I really wanted to pick up Canopy Glow. But I never did.

And now Anathallo doesn't have it's own section and Canopy Glow is nowhere to be found. I squandered my shot and now I'm a sad dude.

A Fine Frenzy

This one really shouldn't count. I mean she's only got two albums and I already had one. I did get the other one, but it just doesn't feel like I did enough.

Boom, that's it. I pretty much accomplished what I set out to do. Calexico, Madlib, A Fine Frenzy and a pinch of Vince Guaraldi Trio. That's really not too shappy.

2012 is right around the corner, I need to start thinking about who I'm looking invest in next year.

Skip Serpico's Concert Adventures - Jessica Lea Mayfield & Ryan Adams @ Lyric Opera House 12/4/11

2011-12-05T08:11:00.001-05:00

One of the perks of going to concerts on a semi regular basis is that you end up on variety of venue mailing lists. Sure, some of the mail is spam that you've got no use for, but occasionally it's a gem of an email.

That was the case when a couple months back I got an email from 9:30 Club informing me that Ryan Adams was going to be at the Lyric and giving me the opportunity to get my ticket in pre-sell event.

I jumped at the chance and I'm glad I did because the show sold out.

This concert marked my first time at the Lyric in over a decade. The last time I went to a show there it was to see Dave Brubeck back in early 2001. I had a great seat and it was a really cool concert. I was also the youngest person there who wasn't with a parent. But it was still a great experience.

The Lyric was a bit daunting, especially with the crowd in attendance. Even though I knew the show was sold out, I wasn't really ready for the volume of people. It was also disorienting trying ot find my way around.

This time around, the seats weren't amazing, but they were pretty good. I was up in the balcony with a great view of the action. Of course the actual "sitting down" took some getting used to. I'm used to standing up the entire time. And having an actual assigned seat felt sort of weird.

Jessica Lea Mayfield was the concert opener. I've been a fan of hers ever since I saw here on Letterman months ago. I thought about going down to see her show at Ram's Head in Annapolis over the summer, but a hurricane caused the concert to be cancelled. Which just made me even more excited to see her open for Ryan Adams.

Her acoustic set started off with "Blue Skies Again" form her most recent release Tell Me. While she only played an eight song set, she made the most of things. The stripped down versions of songs from her two albums proved haunting and mesmerizing. Honestly I wouldn't mind hearing her do an acoustic version of Tell Me, either in concert or released as an album. The renditions were quite beautiful.

Even though she was the opening act, I didn't want her to leave. She was up on the stage and while she didn't have a presence that could be described as "commanding" she did seem comfortable enough that apprehension she had wasn't readily apparent.

Her set ended with "Sleepless", which also closes out Tell Me. Again, I can stress enough how much i wanted her to keep playing. Honestly, I was hoping that she might play an encore.

She didn't. The house lights went up and while some people left to get drinks or evacuate themselves, other arrived to the show fashionably late. Like the guy sitting immediately to my left. Joy.

Ryan Adams took the stage a little after eight-thirty and started things off with "Oh My Sweet Carolina" off of his solo debut Heartbreaker. From there he launched into songs that spanned his entire catalogue. Naturally, it being the Ashes & Fire tour, his most recent offering was the album most represented in the concert, though Gold was a close second, followed by Heartbreaker.

Adams even managed to squeeze some Whiskytown into the show. And while not every album was represented, it did feature a nice cross section of his career. His acoustic rendition of "If I Am A Stranger" was awesome as was hearing "Rescue Blues" and "New York, New York" on the piano.

Which brings up how talented Adams is. It's one thing to hear about or be aware that he's talented. But when you actually see him move effortlessly from playing the piano with ease to coaxing wonderful sounds from a guitar, it's remarkable.

He's also a funny and chatty guy. Maybe it's the intimacy of an acoustic set (Ben Kweller was talkative as well) but Adams would engage the audience and enjoyed doing so. He went on an extended riff about the song Footloose and a dissection of it's chorus. He also noted the surreality of someone yelling from the audience and having the audience respond. He shattered the pretense the "faux ending of the show/returning for an encore" ritual. He was clever, charming and entertaining.

Adam's entire performance came in a just under two and a half hours, which is pretty impressive considering it was just a guy on stage alone. You definitely get your money's worth when you go to see Ryan Adams.

Out of the concerts I've been to this year, this one ranks pretty high. Jessica Lea Mayfield and Ryan Adams delivered on all counts and made for an incredibly memorable experience and an all around awesome show. If they're coming to a town near you, do yourself a favor and check them out.

Sunday Morning Quarterback – Steve Buscemi & The Black Keys

2011-12-04T03:25:00.003-05:00

I’m trying to figure out what to do on weeks when SNL isn’t new. Currently, I’m taking those weeks off, but I’m trying to come up with a format to keep Sunday Morning Quarterback going during those weeks.

As for this week, I didn’t really know what to expect coming in. On one hand Steve Buscemi is a talent but on the other hand he’s sort of an unknown quantity. But at the very least I knew The Black Keys were going to kill it.

Our rating system is as follows;

Phil Hartman– Comedic gold
Chris Farley – Definitely funny, but kinda messy
Norm MacDonald – Funny, but not for everyone
Tim Meadows – Solid Bit
Andy Samberg– Funny, but overstayed it’s welcome
Jim Breuer- Crowd pleaser, but a bit obvious
David Spade – Trying too hard
Chris Elliot – Didn’t click at all, how did it get on

Obama Cold Open – This was an entirely adequate start to the episode. The “America’s Most Powerful” list was pretty funny. I’m sure it’s a bit that probably killed in the writers room and the table read. But it just sort of meandered to it’s abrupt ending. Still it make me chuckle.

Rating: Andy Samberg

Monologue – The “questions from the audience monologue” is one of my favorite monlogues, so to see it resurrected slayed me. Also, being a fan of characters actors, I really dug it. It also marks Jay Pharoah’s first appearance this episode as well as him in drag; so it’s a two-fer. Seriously, this monologue was awesome.

Rating: Phil Hartman

Frozen Mexican Dinner – This was a great ad parody. The set up was totally a digestive aid cliché and the sterile packaging of the meal was a great touch, props to the art department and the props department. Plus Paul Brittian and Fred Armisen totally sold the ad. And the Indian and Fish varieties were a nice touch.

Rating: Phil Hartman

The Miley Cyrus Show – Vanessa Bayer does not get lost into her characters. She’s always “Vanessa Bayer.” Also this bit has never been one of my favorites, so now it’s pretty grating. Miley high got old quick. There was a chance that Maya Rudolph could have saved it, but her “Whitney Houston” was pretty indistinguishable from her “Oprah.” Buscemi did his part, but this skit was a stinker. Rudolph’s cameo was totally wasted.

Rating: David Spade, Chris Elliot

Digital Short – Digital shorts rock when they’re absurd. And this one slowly crept into absurdity. Andy Samberg’s Batman was suitably creepy and Buscemi’s Gordon was spot on. It was a funny bit that was helped by Brittian’s turn as Aquaman.

Rating: Tim Meadows

Dateline – The use and the calling out of the Dateline clichés was funny. And Bill Hader did a got job with his impression. I loved the noting how the stories get stretched to fill the hour. The birthday clown story was mad funny.

Rating: Tim Meadows

Coach Bert – This was decent. Props to whoever had the guts to pitch a sketch about an alleged pedophile. The overreaction and subtle critique of the media were nice touches. I did like Keenan losing his cool and the NAMBLA reference. NAMBLA is pretty much always funny.

Rating: Tim Meadows

The Black Keys Performance One – Dopeness. Watching it just increased my desire to cop the new album. Tuesday can not come soon enough. And it’s really pretty dope that they still are a band, considering how close they came to breaking up. Seeing them on stage really makes me appreciate that reconciliation.

Weekend Update – The Herman Cain stuff was funny, but considering how he bowed out today, it also felt late. On the other hand Drunk Uncle was superb. Bobby Moynihan really managed to pull off “drunk” in a believable way. It wasn’t over the top, it was perfect. I wouldn’t mind seeing Drunk Uncle come back to discuss politics or anything.

Surprise Lady – Another genuine low point. Buscemi as the straight man and the reliance on Kristen Wiig to anchor things; that’s a recipe for moderate to extremely unfunny. Not to mention that this character was crazy derivative. Sue is clearly related to Wiig’s Penelope. It was just unpleasant.

Rating: David Spade, Jim Breuer

Ed Vincent’s Sex Symposium – I cannot express to you how glad I was to see this sketch. The Ed Vincent sketch last year was one of my favorites, of the entire year and I’ve been waiting for the character to return ever since. It’s what sold me on Brittian and made me a fan. And Ed Vincent’s return didn’t disappoint. That “You Can Go To Town On Me” card tickled me. Buscemi’s Erotic Chef was equally good. I also loved Vincent’s same sex moves. The Credit Card and Bumps on a Log. That’s comedy.

Rating: Phil Hartman, Norm MacDonald

The Black Keys Performance Two – More good stuff. It’s convinced me that I’ve got to see them perform live the next time they’re in the area.

Ornaments – This is a primo “five to one” sketch. Buscemi working that weird/creepy vibe while Wiig was rather subdued. This was one of those weird sketches that you’re either going to love or hate. I loved it.

Rating: Norm MacDonald, Tim Meadows

Final Thoughts: First off, I’m really glad to see Paul Brittian have a really strong episode, including the return of “Sex” Ed Vincent. Also Bobby Moynihan's "Drunk Uncle" was the star of Weekend Update this week. Overall it was a pretty strong episode, save for the dual low points of “Surprise Lady” and “The Miley Cyrus Show.” Apart from those two clunkers it was a thoroughly entertaining affair.

Remembering - Terriers

2011-12-02T08:06:00.000-05:00

FX and I go way back. I remember back when they got into the "original programing" game. The Shield was certainly a game changer both in terms of what basic cable could show and how a network branded itself.

I've pretty much given every one of FX's hour dramas a shot. Some I loved (The Shield, Justified) some I loathed (Dirt) and most I just tolerated (Lights Out, Rescue Me.) But most left me heartbroken because they ended too soon (The Riches, Thief.)

One year ago yesterday Terriers wrapped up it's first and final season.

I don't really know what I knew about Terriers before I started watching it via hulu. I don't have cable, so I missed any promo FX did for it. I imagine I saw some ads in Entertainment Weekly and probably read a write up they did for the show.

Actually I know I read something in EW about Terriers. The write up and my devotion to FX original programming made sure that I'd watch the show. But there was another factor; Donal Logue.

I'm old enough that, not only do I use phrases like "I'm old enough that..." but a part of me will always see Donal Logue as "Jimmy the Cab Driver" from the MTV promos of the 90's. It's genuinely been the last couple of years when I saw him in something that thought "there's Donal Logue" and not "there's Jimmy the Cab Driver."

Donal Logue has been in quite a few shows that I've loved and were short lived. He was in ABC's hilarious Knights of Prosperity. He also came aboard the second season of Life (aka one shows NBC canceled so that Jay Leno could have a primetime show weeknights.) So, I've got a shot spot in my heart for the guy.

Terriers hooked me in the first episode. The dialogue was crisp and had a unique rhythm. And the characters of Hank (Logue) and Britt (Michael Raymond-James) were two of the most charming and vibrant character I'd seen on tv in quite some time. They were funny and fallible, witty and likable, with a pinch of grime. They were not only characters I'd want to hang out with, but they were characters I could possibly become.

Hank was a recovering alcoholic ex-cop who was still deeply in love with his ex-wife. Britt was mildly dim, mildly hot-headed with some dirt in his past. If I'm being 100% honest, they might be my favorite partners and private investigators, passing Frank Pembleton/Tim Bayliss and Jim Rockford respectfully.

I'm not going to go too much into detail because Terriers is actually available for streaming on Netflix and hopefully you'll read this and be prompted to check it out. Terriers is a show that manages to be both episodic and serial or at least does a fine job balancing the two. There's an overarching mystery, but there are also stand alone episodes.

There's also laughs, tears, suspense, heartbreak, joy and violence. In addition to being of my favorite shows last year, Terriers also landed on several critics lists.

But didn't pull the viewers that FX wanted, so they pulled the plug, five days after the first season ended. It's certainly something I'll never forgive FX for.

The real tragedy is that, like other FX shows Thief and Lucky (as well as TNT's Saved and the second season of Showtime's Huff) Terriers isn't on dvd and doesn't appear to be coming any time soon.

There's a grassroots effort including the hashtag #terriersdvd and an online petition. If you want to do something nice for me, feel free to spread the word or sign the petition. There's even a blog Terriers on DVD. You could also call Fox Home Video at 888-223-4369 or email them at foxdrop@4icc.com, and tell 'em Skip sent you! It'd make a great x-mas gift for me.

Just thinking about Terriers is bittersweet. It's a great show and I'm glad I got to see it, but the fact that it only got one season just makes me sad.

Fables

2011-11-30T08:52:00.000-05:00

One of the cool things about comics is that, generally, you can usually find some old comics that pique your interest. It's dope when you're digging through a box and you find a comic that you've always wanted to pick up.

That's what happened when found the Detective Comics Annual #1, Green Arrow Annual #1 and The Question Annual #1. I'd finally found a story that I'd wanted to read since I was a kid.

The three annuals are interconnected, but can be read alone. Still when you read them together, you get a fuller story. All three were written by Dennis O'Neil, who had distinguished runs on both Batman and The Question.

The story features three distinct art teams. Klaus Janson & Tony DeZuniga handle the Gotham chapter with Tom Artis and Tim Dzon tackling Green Arrow. Finally Denys cowan and Rick Magyar round things out with The Question.

Detective Comics Annual #1 is first. The story starts out in 1895 in Manchuria where a Chinese monk is killed dishonorably by a Japanese soldier. So his commanding officer tries to regain his honor by undertaking the monk's mission. Then we come to the present (1988) where the Monk is still alive and on his mission.

From there we get a tale involving Ra's al Gul, Talia, The Penguin and a plague that only attacks women and children. It's so over the top it's hard to believe that The Penguin is even involved. But the Monk and his associate, Lady Shiva show up and play a role in the whole thing.

There's also a hilarious scene with The Question, where he describes the nascent internet as "nationwide networks computer freaks call 'bulletin boards.' Hackers exchange messages, programs even carry on dialogues." It's quite adorable.

The Green Arrow chapter focuses on a rival named Kalesque who wants to be the best archer in the world and feels he needs to best Oliver Queen to do it. The Monk and Shiva show up and impart some wisdom on Ollie. Also Shiva and Black Canary tangle for the very first time.

The last chapter is set mainly in Hub City, home of The Question. It begins with a flashback to the Monk telling his wife of his new path in life back in 1900. From there we're taken to Hub City where a loose end up one of The Question's previous adventures gets tied up. Batman and Green Arrow show up, giving The Question an inferiority complex.

But in the end The Question is validated and the Monk's quest is fulfilled. It really does have quite a satisfying conclusion.

The Batman chapter is the weakest, both in terms of story and art. while The Question is the strongest in both areas. Its' a good story and I'm not even sure if it's ever been collected. But I'm certainly glad I got the chance to read it.

Trailer Tuesday - Roadie, Shame and Hunger Games!

2011-11-29T08:35:00.000-05:00

Welcome back to Trailer Tuesday. Did you miss us?

I want to say for the record, I'm not a fan of how Apple TV does it's movie trailers now. It's so difficult to find what you're looking for. I miss when everything was in alphabetical order. Now finding trailers has become a chore.

But enough of my griping, let's get into things, shall we?

Roadie

What They Say: Blue Oyster Cult roadie Jimmy, gets fired after 20 years and returns home to Queens where he links up with high school friends. Starring Ron Eldard, Jill Hennesey and Bobby Cannavale.

Reasons To Pay: First and foremost, it's On Demand on 12/2, so that's a plus. Also it stars Ron Eldard, who always seems ot have the mose awesome facial hair. Bobby Cannavale and Jill Hennesey also seem to really put their all into their roles as well. And the story seems pretty solid.

Reasons To Stay: Honestly I can't think of a reason why you'd pass this one by. It's On Demand on 12/2 and in theatres on 1/6.

At The End of the Day: Everything about this movie in intriguing. The way it's being released, the cast, the story. This may be the first flick I get via On Demand, though I really want to see it in the theater.

Shame

What They Say: It's a movie, starring Michael Fassbender and Carey Mulligan, about a sex addict who's sister moves in with him, upending his life. Also, it features full frontal. On him.

Reasons To Pay: The trailer is pretty dope. Mulligan's haunting rendition of "New York, New York" plays over images of Fassbender's downward spiral into sex addiction, complete with bruises. There's a scant one line of dialogue in the entire thing. It's really quite a marvelous trailer.

Reasons To Stay: The trailer tries it's best to overcome the NC-17 rating by showing quotes of critics raving about it and comparing it to other "adult" movies. The quotes are actually distracting from the haunting images.

At The End of the Day: It seems to be a movie about two people, which I find appealing. It's gotten glowing reviews and won all the right awards. But I don't what would be more uncomfortable; going to see this NC-17 flick alone or taking someone with me.

The Hunger Games

What They Say: In the future kids battle for the death in a televised game where they represent their districts.

Reasons To Pay: Um, Wes Bentley with wickedly sinister facial hair. The trailer is hella effective. That countdown at the end, with the Tributes running to their weapons, got me a bit hyped. Also, I loved Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson in last year's Oscar nominated Winter's Bone and The Kids Are All Right.

Reasons To Stay: I don't know if I want to support Lenny Kravitz getting film work while his baby's mom remains woefully underemployed. I'd feel pretty dirty jumping on the bandwagon of kid-lit flick given my hatred of Twilight.

At The End of the Day: This will probably be the easiest of all of the flicks to see, as I'll have plenty of folks eager to see it with me. That said, the movie will do just fine without my contributing my money to it's earnings.

Hopefully next week we'll be back with more trailer and our takes on them. Unfortunately, because of how Apple TV organizes their trailers, we actually have to start searching for next week's trailers at this very moment. I hope you appreciate the work.

Monday Munchies - Popcorn, Indiana Dark Fudge Chocolate Chip Kettlecorn

2011-11-28T08:57:00.002-05:00

Now that we are in the neither-region that exists between Thanksgiving and Christmas there are a myriad of new products hitting the shelves. Some are seasonal like Haagen-Dazs Peppermint Bark ice cream. Others are just trying to capitalize on the impulsive nature of people out shopping.

This week's Monday Munchie is the latter. It's also one of the most adjective laden snacks I've ever purchased. It's Dark Fudge Chocolate Chip Kettlecorn from Popcorn, Indiana.

Oh, admit it; you're curious.

I'm very familiar with the Popcorn, Indiana brand. Back in Vegas the ol' roomie introduced me to their Kettlecorn when she found it at Whole Foods. I was instantly hooked.

Since that time I've pretty much given any product of theirs a shot. I've had the Aged White Cheddar Popcorn (barely adequate), Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn (pretty tasty) and Cocoa Kettle Kettlecorn (mouth orgasm inducing.)

Basically Popcorn, Indiana is a brand that I trust.

The only problem that I foresaw with the Dark Fudge Chocolate Chip Kettlecorn is that, I'm not really the biggest fan of chocolate. And this seemed to have twice as much chocolate as I was accustomed to consuming on my kettle corn.

I braced myself as I opened the bag and I was pleasantly surprised. First off, the fudge is literally drizzled on kettle corn. The kernels aren't smothered, nor are they lacking. The fudge is judiciously drizzled so that, while the taste of chocolate is prominent, you never forget that you're eating kettle corn. It really makes for a rather balanced taste.

The chocolate chip aspect is the kettle corn is barely noticeable. Firstly the chips are so small that you actually need to seek them out to see them. Secondly they don't really add anything. It is Chocolate Chip Kettlecorn, but it seems more like a tag the marketing department came up with or a challenge from product development.

Again, I'm not a huge fan of chocolate, but Popcorn, Indiana has a product that works. I enjoy it. The chocolate genuinely adds something to the flavor and texture and makes for a snack that is quite irresistible.

Dark Fudge Chocolate Chip Kettlecorn is something that chocolate lovers will love, yet something that anyone can enjoy. If you see it, you should give it a shot.

No, Seriously; Concert Cursed

2011-11-27T08:19:00.000-05:00

Remember Skip Serpico’s Concert Adventures? Remember how I used to go to concerts on a semi regular basis? Well those days appear to be over.

And remember when I told you how I was Concert Cursed? Um, it’s looking like that’s a pretty accurate assessment of the situation.

Allow me to explain.

So, two weeks ago I was all set to see Fitz & the Tantrums at 9:30 Club. I’d purchased my ticket months ago, when Fitz actually guilted me into it on twitter. I figured if they were coming all the way to D.C., I could make the trip down to D.C. to see them.

Of course getting from Baltimore to D.C. can be a chore. Now weekdays you can catch the MARC train down and if you finish up early enough you can catch something back to Baltimore at a reasonable hour.

On a Sunday however things are different. The MARC train isn’t running, it being a commuter line, so you’re left with Amtrak as the best way to get to D. C. Amtrak is more expensive than the MARC, but it’s usually as reliable. I mean, it’s a business and not a government run enterprise.

So, back to two weeks ago, I’m excited about going to see Fitz & the Tantrums. I’ve got the day off, I’ve got my tickets to the show ($35) and for the train ($45). I’m all squared away.

I get to Penn Station around 5:30 to catch the 5:48 train. I’m talking to Ma Serpico on the phone and we’re discussing the whole Penn State situation. Eventually I look up to see the board with arrivals and departures. I match up my train number and see that my train is now set to depart 6:48.

Now it takes about 45 minutes to get from D.C. to Baltimore by train. So, with the 5:48 that I was aiming for would have gotten me to D.C. around 6:30ish, which would have allowed me plenty of time to get to the 9:30 Club right around the time the doors opened at 7pm.

But now, with the train running late, I wasn’t going to get to D.C. until 7:30ish and I wouldn’t get to show until around 8pm when the opening act was probably going to be starting up.

At this point, I feel the need to point out my escape plan from D.C. The last train from D.C. to Baltimore is at 10pm. Most concerts don’t wrap until after that. The first train from D.C. to Baltimore is at like 3:15am. And that was the train I was aiming for.

D.C. isn’t all that fun between 10pm and 3am, even moreso on a Sunday. When I went to see CAKE I milled around the city and I was a cool experience, because the weather was nice. But right now it’s rather chilly to be wandering around the nation’s capital.

To put things in perspective, I’d be getting at D.C. rushing to 9:30 Club to catch a two hour show and end up being stuck in until 3am. It didn’t really strike me as appealing.

So when the train was further delayed, now scheduled to depart Baltimore at 7:23, I began to weigh my options. I could continue forward, arriving in D.C. a bit past 8pm and rush to the club to miss most of the opening act, catch the headlines and then be stuck for four hours, or I could cut my losses and return to the crib.

I checked with the Amtrak agent who told me that I was eligible for a refund because the train was so late. I really want to see Fitz & the Tantrums, who are one of this year’s genuine success stories in terms of musical acts piercing the pop culture consciousness. But at that point, things just didn’t seem to shaping up in my favor.

I like to think of myself as someone who pays attention to signs. I follow my instincts and try to tune into my surroundings. And the fact that the train was now a hour and a half behind schedule seemed to me to be a sign that perhaps I wasn’t meant to be in attendance at this concert.

And then the train was pushed back to 7:33.

I went to get my refund. I went home.

Was my night ruined? No not really. I went home and played some Super Mario Bros. Wii. Obviously I’d have preferred to go to the concert, but I can’t really complain about missing it because of a late train. I could have missed it because something horrible happened to me or to someone in the band causing the show to be cancelled. So, I’m not really mad that I missed the concert because of a train that refused to show up.

Hopefully next Sunday I’ll be checking out Jessica Lea Mayfield and Ryan Adams at the Lyric.

I’ve got my fingers crossed.

Remembering - My Innocence

2011-11-20T12:26:00.002-05:00

A little warning - the following post has some graphic images. If you don't want to have the last vestiges of your childhood ripped from you, I highly suggest that you avoid this post.

You don't want to "read more." It's shocking and it's something that you'll never forget. In fact I'm typing this at 3:30 in the morning, because I'm still scarred by the image that I saw a couple hours ago.

Ok, you've been warned.

So, I was watching Saturday Night Live this week (you can check out the Sunday Morning Quarterback over here) and I immediately wondered if the Muppets were going to show up on the episode.

Jason Segel is responsible for bringing the Muppets back into the public consciousness and he was on SNL to promote the movie. Plus The Muppets had actually appeared on SNL back in the early days of the show.

It seemed reasonable right?

So when the popped up on the monologue, I wasn't super surprised. Now I'm old school enough to be able to hear the difference between Jim Henson's Kermit and whoever is doing Kermit now. I've got my biases and I wear them on my sleeve. But I was still happy to see them.

I'm a fan of Fozzie and Rowlf. And I'm cool with Scooter and Gonzo. I was pretty slayed to see Waldorf and Statler, who are two of my favorite Muppets of all time.

As I was watching Kermit and company sing along with Jason Segel, I realized that the "Muppet magic" was still very much alive in me. I could clearly see that Kermit's mouth was opening and closing, but there was no way it was making actual words, yet I still believed it. I didn't see them as objects being operated by puppeteers. I saw them as actual entities.

And less than 90 minutes later that illusion was shattered when I saw this;

Are you kidding me? I'm completely understand that the guys who make the Muppets come to life want to have their moment in the light, but, c'mon, could I have gotten a warning that I was going to see someone wearing Rowlf as a fucking poncho?

What the fuck? What kind of bullshit is that? Who pulls a stunt like that? Like, that's not some shit that you can un-fucking-see. I'm going to be stuck with that image for some time. I might as well have it tattooed on the inside of my eyelids, because that's all I'm ever going to see when I close my eyes.

Rowlf, the Poncho. I think I'm going to be sick.

I'm devastated.

I'm hurt.

I'm tired, but I'm afraid to go to sleep.

That image is going to haunt me and it's something that I'll never forget.

Way to ruin my life and rob me of my innocence.

Seriously, what kind of garbage is that?!

Sunday Morning Quarterback – Jason Segel & Florence + the Machine

2011-11-20T02:59:00.005-05:00

It’s funny, I’m not really aware of Jason Segel’s comedic styling’s. I’ve seen him on Letterman and I saw him in Knocked Up, but I haven’t seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall and I don’t watch How I Met Your Mother. I know nothing about this dude.

This should make for an interesting episode.

(As usual, here’s our rating system)
Phil Hartman – Comedic gold
Chris Farley – Definitely funny, but kinda messy
Norm MacDonald – Funny, but not for everyone
Tim Meadows – Solid Bit
Andy Samberg – Funny, but overstayed it’s welcome
Jim Breuer- Crowd pleaser, but a bit obvious
David Spade – Trying too hard
Chris Elliot – Didn’t click at all, how did it get on

Mitt Romney: Raw & Unleashed – You’d think in a week that more going on politically they’d more better material. But we get a “Mitt is lame” sketch. And a one note sketch at that. “Sex scandals and whoopsie-daisies” was a dope line that I’m totally going to steal for my autobiography. But the bit went on too long, although it did manage to get Jay Pharoah what I think is his earliest cameo all season.

Rating: Andy Samberg, Jim Breuer

Monologue – I was worried about Jason Segel turning in a hackneyed musical number, but that worry went away when the Muppets came out. I was especially happy to see Rowlf, who’s quietly one of my favorite Muppets. But the monologue was more cute than funny. Yeah, the Muppets thinking they were hosting and then getting bitter was funny, but it was spread out over too much filler. And ironically the Muppets completely usurped the monologue, leaving Segel a comedic enigma.

Rating: Jim Breuer, Tim Meadows

Red Flag – Eh, it’s funny, but it’s recycled. But it’s really funny. But it’s a sign that the show is weak because it’s a) recycled and b) a really funny bit.

Rating: Waived

Replacing Regis – This sketch was a calvacade of barely adequate impressions. Either the comedian didn’t look like who they were impersonating, or they didn’t do a good impression. Sadly Pharoah’s Denzel was the “best” impression, but didn’t differ at all from the previous four times he’s done it. I did love Armisen’s George Lopez, because it was spot on, not only his mannerisms, but his “comedy.”

Rating: Chris Farley, Tim Meadows

Kemper Petic – My first reaction was “boo, another commercial?” But this was funny. The premise was hilarious, and Segel totally sold the bit. The “rolling dice” killed me. And I was equally weak with the pounding pizza dough. It’s easily one of the best sexual innuendo skits I’ve seen on SNL in quite some time.

Rating: Phil Hartman

Kissing Family Thanksgiving – The Voglecheck’s are divisive. I appreciate them for the boundary pushing and the parody of overly affectionate people. But I can also see how it just grosses some people out. I don’t have a problem with it. I did enjoy the Paul Rudd pop in though.

Rating: Norm MacDonald, Jim Breuer

Florence + the Machine – I can’t front; as much as I wanted to give her a shot and find out what all the fuss is about, I was on the phone talking to Jay1. We were on the phone every break and took this opportunity to recap the show up to this point and predict (with 100% accuracy) where the Muppets would show up again. Sorry Florence.

Weekend Update – First the bad; it’s always tricky when a “real person” shows up on Weekend Update. It’s dope that Jon Huntsman doesn’t take himself all too seriously, but what would be better is if he could read cue cards and deliver lines. His kissing up to the people of New Hampshire was cute. Equally cute was Kermit the Frog tag-teaming “Really” with Seth. Not all too funny, but cute. Although Ramon the spider pimp slayed me.

Retirement Party – This was one of those sketches that you’re either going to love or hate, there’s no middle ground. I loved it. I loved how there wasn’t really a star. Sure they had Kristen Wiig in as a “just in case” measure (and she did fine, managing not to overdo it) while Segel’s drunk and dramatic coworker managed to make the most of his time. It was a weird sketch, but it was funny and everyone really played their part well. Even Armisen’s mute Mitch Gerst was funny. This is when SNL is at it’s best; when it’s not for everyone and it’s devoid of pop culture references.

Rating: Tim Meadows, Chris Farley

New Jack Thanksgiving – Wow, they’re really going to keep trying to make Medium Richard work aren’t they? The poor sound on the first song made it land with a dud. I did like Sweet Leftover Booty and Florence got crazy cool points for performing in a sketch. And Triangle Sally is always cool.

Rating: Jim Breuer, Andy Samberg

Seducing Women Through Chess – Now this was a funny digital short. Again, it’s devoid of pop culture references. The throwback to cheesy production values of yesteryear was nice as was Andy Samberg’s bumbling host. And the absurdity of it all was equally dope.

Rating: Phil Hartman

Andre the Giant Chooses an Ice Cream Flavor – Speaking of absurdity, this was totally random and completely appreciated. From the Don Pardo intro (which conjured up memories of Tarzan, Tonto & Frankenstein) to Segel’s out of left field impression of someone who’s been dead for decades, it was glorious and left me wanting more.

Rating: Phil Hartman, Norm MacDonald

Florence + the Machine – Um, yeah, Jay1 and I were talking about how awesome the Retirement Party, Andre the Giant and Chess were. My bad.

Massachusetts Afternoon – I would totally follow Blue Jean Committee around like the Grateful Dead. They could possibly be the guys I want to play at my wedding. This was a funny skit, from the atmosphere created to the cameos, which really put a bow on the episode. I’m just pissed the blocking ruined the Paul Rudd surprise. It was funny, but also had a cool mellow vibe too. It was a really good sketch to end the show on.

Rating: Tim Meadows, Chris Farley

Final Thoughts: Again, we have an uneven episode. Segel was an interesting host. On one hand he was game enough to hang with the Voglechecks, but on the other hand I’d almost forgotten who the host was by Weekend Update. He redeemed himself with the Retirement Party and Andre the Giant, though. This definitely feels like and episode before a break.

And that last shot of the thanks yous and goodbyes….you know what, I’m going to save that for a separate post.

Monday Missing Munchies - Duncan Hines Oven Ready Brownies

2011-11-14T08:15:00.000-05:00

I love brownies. Technically blondies are my favorite baked good, but brownies come a close second, mainly because of their abundance. There's really nothing better than a great brownie.

But being a lazy person, the thought of actually making a batch of brownies is unappealing. So when I first heard about Duncan Hines Oven Ready Brownies, you can imagine my elation.

Now the allure of Duncan Hines Oven Ready Brownies should be readily apparent; they're incredibly easy to make. The product comes in a tray that you place in the oven and 30 minutes later you have brownies.

It's like Duncan Hines designed it just for me.

And you can determine the consistency that you desire. If you want fudgey brownies, pull the out sooner and if you like brownies more cakey leave them in longer. It's literally fool proof brownies, with no mixing, measuring or clean up.

I've had them in my life and they are glorious. I've had the fudge and chocolate chip varieties. Actually, when I lived in Las Vegas, I kept some stocked in my freezer along with ice cream pints. It was part of my snack arsenal.

Something happened and I'd forgotten they existed. For the past three years I hadn't thought of Duncan Hines Oven Ready Brownies ones. And then, a few weeks back, they popped into my head.

I frequent three grocery stores regularly. There's the Safeway that's in my neighborhood, there's a Giant where I run my weekly errands and there's a Whole Foods close to work. I've literally scoured these stores looking for Duncan Hines Oven Ready Brownies, to no avail.

(And I know I was a fool to look for them at Whole Foods, but after I couldn't find them that Giant or Safeway, I got desperate.)

Of course I was searching for them before I knew what they were called. I could remember the package and where in the grocery store I'd found them in Vegas, but I couldn't remember the name.

I searched the web, hoping that a) they did exist but b) were discontinued because the plastic tray in the oven caused cancer and c) I might be able to find someone who had a stockpile of the discontinued brownies they were selling at a reasonable price.

That's when I discovered not only their name, but that they were still being produced. It was quite a depressing moment.

Sometimes the snack that you want the most is the one that you can't have. it's one of the most frustrating experiences ever. Being tantalized sucks period, but to know that something exists and being unable to find it is torture on the scale of Greek myths. And that's where I am right now.

Sunday Morning Quarterback – Emma Stone & Coldplay

2011-11-13T03:01:00.004-05:00

You want to know the last book that I’ve read? It was Live from New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live by Tom Shales and James Andrew Miller. If you dig SNL as much as I do, you should totally get your hands on a copy and devour all of the juicy tales about one of late night comedy’s longest lasting traditions.

Seriously, the book is good.

Anyway, I was moderately amped for this episode of SNL. I think Emma Stone’s got talent and she usually delivers. And I really enjoyed Coldplay’s first two albums and half of X&Y. I figured last night’s episode should have been decent. I was wrong. Sort of.

(Here's how we rate things around here)
Phil Hartman – Comedic gold
Chris Farley – Definitely funny, but kinda messy
Norm McDonald – Funny, but not for everyone
Tim Meadows – Solid Bit
Andy Samberg – Funny, but overstayed it’s welcome
Jim Breuer- Crowd pleaser, but a bit obvious
David Spade – Trying too hard
Chris Elliot – Didn’t click at all, how did it get on

Republican Debate - I was worried that this was going to run long like it did in the season premiere. Unfortunately it just felt like it ran ten minutes long. While I enjoyed Bill Hader’s very loose Rick Perry, most of the jokes felt like they were beating a dead horse. While the cutaways to the other candidate’s reactions of Perry’s floundering were funny, they weren’t enough to salvage the sketch. Neither was the homage to Of Mice and Men.

Rating: Jim Breuer

Monologue – This is really where the wheels begin to fall off the show. The closest thing the monologue came to being funny was with the “web” malfunction. The gist of the monologue was Andy Samberg tossing up zingers and cracking wise, for the entire monologue. Emma Stone appeared to be promoting a movie that’s six months away from hitting theaters. And poor Andrew Garfield, being pulled into an incredibly awkward monologue.

Rating: David Spade, Andy Samberg

Secret Word – On the low, this is one of the most excrutiatingly long reoccurring sketches on currently appearing on SNL. I feel really bad for Paul Brittain and Taran Killam because they’ve literally got nothing to do in this sketch. Oh and did everyone notice that two consecutive female hosts have made out with inanimate objects? Coincidence? I will say that Hader’s host’s line about Windex was funny. Sadly it was the funniest part of the entire sketch.

Rating: David Spade, Andy Samberg

Herb Welch: Falling Ice – I’ll admit to liking Hader’s Herb Welch. I think he’s a pretty funny character. I really dig how he’s gone from being just a “past his prime” reporter to being downright surly. When he muttered, “pick a name” under his breath, I almost cried. And when Wiig and Hader almost broke during the scene, it was pretty coolI really liked the nutty ending.

Rating: Chris Farley, Tim Meadows

SNL Digital Short – Yet another song parody. It had a completely predictable ending with the rain and then the lightning strike aimed for absurdity but just came off lame.

Rating: Jim Breuer, David Spade

Coldplay Peformance #1 – Wow, for two weeks in a row SNL has featured a band that has as many detractors as they have fans. Coldplay’s music has become so inoffensive and unimaginative that it’s actually come back around and borders on being offensive. I will say that I liked the stage set up. All that black light stuff was really cool. All that was really missing was the “Atronomical Ways” poster.

Weekend Update – Weekend Update hit it out of the park again this week. First off Jason Sudekis’ Devil is always pretty funny, but the way the whole Penn State played was really brilliant. They way that they phrased everything so that they never actually mentioned “molestation” was very clever. The audience was left to fill in the blanks with the information that they already knew. That bit was awesome.

I also loved Roderick the penguin. And of course Garth & Kat are always welcome. It’s always dope to see Fred Armisen tossing up curveballs and Kristen Wiig showing off her improv prowess. If MacGruber can get his own movie, I want a Garth & Kat Broadway show.

Les Jeunes de Paris – First off, I wonder if this is a sketch that they pitch to every host and hope that they’re game or if the host requests it? Either way, while I’m sure it’s an incredibly divisive sketch, I dig it. This was certainly the most humorous yet, but mostly because of the French stereotypes. It’s also the funniest skit of the night, which is bad since it’s entirely in French.

Rating: Norm McDonald, Tim Meadows

Bridal Shower Gifts – Another funny sketch (two in a row.) It was funny not only because of the inappropriate gifts, but also because it actually had consequences. Wallace actually realized she’d crossed the lines, which made the gifts that much funnier. I applaud the writers for not just making it a one note bit. And the ending was funny too.

Rating: Chris Farley, Tim Meadows

Coldplay Performance #2 – Yeah, seeing them perform has convinced me that I need to write up a column explaining why I’m kinda over Coldplay. I will say that seeing Chris Martin freak it with the dance moves at the end was quite the memorable moment. I’m glad he’s not self-conscious about it.

Adele Sing-Along – This was a funny bit. The cliché about females with the upped ante from Kristen Wiig’s boss followed by the exaggerated guys was funny enough, but the weepy night cleaners (especially Armisen’s janitor) slayed me. Equally slaying; the meta moment with Coldplay. The crying could have gotten old, but they pulled it off.

Rating: Chris Farley, Tim Meadows

Technology Hump – Jay Pharoah sighting! But in addition to Jay Pharoah, this sketch was a beast! It’s got a funny premise (a show devoted to technology humping) and it actually delivers. The dialogue, setting and “acting” of the tech was priceless. And the threesome bit was glorious. I want to see this sketch come back.

Rating: Phil Hartman, Norm McDonald

Final Thoughts: This episode was crazy lopsided. The bottom half was loaded with goodness, while the top half was a chore to sit through. But where the first half of the show was mostly a chore to sit though, the second half showed some really inspired bits with “Technology Hump” and the return of “Les Jeunes de Paris.” Next week should be interesting and is almost certainly going to feature puppets if not actual Muppets. I’m really sort of anxious to see what happens then.

Spider-Man's Tangled Web vol. 3

2011-11-10T08:04:00.001-05:00

Spider-Man gets plenty of love around Fish & Spaghetti Industries. In fact Chet his completely modeled his life after the life of Peter Parker. We still mourn Chet's parents.

Anyway, I could never quite get into Spider-Man. First it was The Clone Saga. Then it was Norman Osborne having twins with Gwen Stacy. Then it was the disappearance of May Parker. And don't even get me started on how MJ and Pete's marriage ended.

Fortunately Spider-Man's Tangled Web exists.

Y'see Spider-Man's Tangled Web was a title that was devoted to stories that barely featured Spidey at all. Usually he was a secondary character and occasionally he just cameoed in the story.

Tangled Web was also unique because it featured creators who weren't usually associated with Spider-Man and, in many cases with mainstream comics at all. This book has all the ingredients for a comic that Skip Serpico would approve of.

I recently read the third volume of Tangled Web. It's funny because this volume contains the two issues of Tangled Web that got me into the book in the first place. "The Last Shoot" and "The Collaborator" featured some of my favorite creators (Brian Azzarello and Paul Pope, respectively.)

Things start off kind of slow with "I Was a Teenage Frog-Man." It's a story that honestly just left me flat. But the next story "Double Shots" by Ron Zimmerman and Sean Phillips was superb. It's set in a villain bar where three of Spidey's rogues share war stories. There's a reveal at the end that totally puts the story over the top.

"The Last Shoot" is an awesome story that features a character from Spidey mythos that's largely forgotten. It's a stark portrait that really sort of makes you hate Peter Parker. "The Collaborator" is vintage Paul Pope, just set in the Spider-Man universe.

Things wrap up with the two-part "Heartbreaker" featuring Tombstone. It's a prison break story, with characters who have powers. It's a pretty decent closer and the ending almost makes up for any shortcomings it may have had.

Naturally, in a book with no set creators or characters, the quality of the title will waiver wildly. Tangled Web has peaks and valleys. Fortunately the third volume of Tangled Web has more of the former.

Breaking The Law?

2011-11-08T08:38:00.000-05:00

The Fall television season is in full swing. There are some shows that I watch because I love and others I watch because I feel obligated. Watching tv can be like a chore.

And because of my hectic schedule, I'm perpetually playing catch up with my tv viewing. As a result I watch a ton of shows online. And usually I watch things on Xfinity.com, because my internet flows from Comcast.

However some shows aren't on Xfinity...

Now, I can completely understand why some shows aren't on Xfinity. A show on a pay cable network like Boardwalk Empire, Treme or Homeland shouldn't be available for free streaming online. Those are subscription based networks, so I really don't have a problem buying those shows on DVD or going to someone's house and watching them On Demand.

My problem is with shows that are on basic cable and why some of them can be streamed while others can't.

Take Sons of Anarchy, for instance. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy online since it began. And while I'm a critic of the show, I'm invested enough in some of the characters and story lines that I want to watch the show.

And while every episode of previous seasons of Sons of Anarchy have been available for streaming, generally with a month delay, this year not a single episode of the current season has been available on Xfinity.

Contrast that with American Horror Story, which like Sons of Anarchy is on FX, and things get confusing. Episodes of American Horror Story are available for streaming and apparently there's only a week delay before they go up.

Same network. Different shows. Different results.

Things get even more confusing with Top Chef, a Fish & Spaghetti favorite. Apparently Bravo, as a network, only allows a handful episodes available for streaming each month. And that's not "handful of episodes per show" that's "handful of episodes per network."

So while the new season of Top Chef has begun, I've yet to watch the premiere.

Except that's a lie; I've totally watched the first episode. Anyone who can type can find a dozen ways to watch any episode of any show that's currently being broadcast. I don't advocate for it and I don't feel great about watching it that way, but I don't have cable and Bravo won't put it online, so that's going to happen.

USA seems to be able to have it's shows steadily streaming after they air. I'm sure I could watch episodes of popular MTV shows if I were ever to suffer a brain injury. But I have to go though the dark alleys of the internet if I want to watch an episode of Top Chef on my computer?

C'mon, there's something wrong with that picture.

Sunday Morning Quarterback – Charlie Day & Maroon 5

2011-11-06T01:57:00.006-04:00

Ok, so I missed the Anna Faris episode. I was on vacation so not only did I not write about it, but I honestly haven’t even seen it. I’m guessing I’ll catch it on reruns, but then again considering how word on the street is that the episode was wack (like I said it would be) it might never get rerun.

Anyway, as a fan of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, I’m pumped that Charlie Day is getting his moment to shine. Going in I was actively rooting for this episode to be funny. Plus, the writers and cast had some time off, so hopefully they used it to their advantage.

Here’s our handy rating scale, so you at home can understand how we break things down.

Phil Hartman – Comedic gold
Chris Farley – Definitely funny, but kinda messy
Norm McDonald – Funny, but not for everyone
Tim Meadows – Solid Bit
Andy Samberg – Funny, but overstayed it’s welcome
Jim Breuer- Crowd pleaser, but a bit obvious
David Spade – Trying too hard
Chris Elliot – Didn’t click at all, how did it get on

Ghost of Gaddafi – First off it’s dope to see that SNL dusted this impression off one last time while it was still viable. It was well written, decently topical but more importantly it was scathing and biting. It was actually a bit that had some teeth, poking fun at U.S. foreign relations, the tolerance of dictators and the current bloodlust sweeping the nation. It also had the easily digestible jokes too, about hell and the “bro” bit, but they didn’t undercut the ruthlessness of the sketch. And it was incredibly brief too. It may have been the perfect cold open.

Rating: Phil Hartman

Monologue – I appreciated how it reminded me of an old school monologue, where the host doing their own thing and trying to be funny on their own. His bit about NYC from a two year old perspective wasn’t funny, but it was refreshing. Seeing Danny Devito come on, felt like a cheap cry for applause. He and Charlie have chemistry and it works, but to rely on it for the monologue was lazy. Also, when was the last time anyone saw Danny Devito and he didn’t seem like he was drunk?

Rating: Jim Breuer, Andy Samberg

Kim’s Fairytale Divorce – This sketch could have been crappy, but it was anchored by strong performances. Kristen Wiig’s Kris Kardashian was spot on. And Taran Killam’s Bruce Jenner slayed me. It’s an easy target, but he totally sold it. And it was funny on several levels. It worked as great as a parody of E! programming. But poking fun at Kris desperate for attention and Kim’s love for Black guys worked really well. Jay Pharoah and Charlie Day felt sort of wedged into the bit, but they didn’t ruin it. And the other shows plugged at the end were mad funny.

Rating: Tim Meadows

Dr. Oz Show – I’ve yet to see Bill Hader in a skit where he wasn’t funny, so using him as Dr. Oz was a sound decision. As someone who avoids daytime tv, I’m not overly familiar with Dr. Oz, but Hader seemed to do a good job. Scatological humor is a bit obvious for me, but the sketch wasn’t too bad.

Rating: Jim Breuer, Andy Samberg.

Greek Gods – This bit was funny! It was so hammy, which was part of it’s charm. The through line for the bit was a tad tenuous, with the Greek economic crisis, but the bit worked on it’s own. It had the room to breathe and it played perfectly. Props on allowing a sketch with a) that many cast members and b) giving the cast enough time to play things through. The obvious Apollo joke does show that the writers still don’t know what to do with Black castmembers though.

Rating: Tim Meadows, Chris Farley

Getting Freaky with Cee-Lo Green – First, I guess Cee-Lo was finally arrived. Secondly, it’s nice to see that writers realize they have two Black cast members. The shots at Cee-Lo were obvious, but the “Big & Short section” made me laugh. The horn section was cool, but Hader almost stole the bit. From Colonel Nasty’s dance moves, to the combo of his square voice and pimp laugh, the character struck a chord. Instantly memorable character.

Rating: Chris Farley, Tim Meadows

Kings of Catchphrase Comedy 2 – This parody made me wish I could record the show, because it’s crammed full of jokes and they come in a flurry. There was nothing in this commercial that wasn’t gold. All of those comedians were hilarious in their lameness. As much as I love the Kings of Catchphrase Comedy ads, I wonder if they go over on people who don’t love stand-up as much as I do. Also, I love the fact that I’m sure there are some real comedians who have hurt feelings over this bit, because there’s nothing more funny than a comedian with hurt feelings.

Rating: Phil Hartman

Maroon 5 First Performance – I’m trying to pinpoint why I hate Adam Levine. I thin it’s his cockiness. But it might also be his tattoos. Maybe it the fact that they things he’s so much cooler and more entertaining and frankly talented than he really is. As for the song, I can’t tell if it’s a new song or something from an old album, because all their crappy songs sound like garbage.

Weekend Update – Bill Hader’s drunk Rick Perry was solid. Actually it was really funny. A Closer Look at Europe was amazing. I love when Seth gets the chance to go on a rant. And the groans form the audience on the Polish Sully and Dubai littering stories killed me. Then again, there are few things I love more than a good “too soon.” Kristen Wiig’s Judy Grimes never disappoints. And for some reason the Real Housemice of Avenue A slayed me. I don’t know why, but it tickled me to bits.

Because of One Dolphin – I dug the absurdity of it. Wiig’s director was hilarious in her aloofness. I loved how she was game for anything. Killam’s dolphin handler was goofy fun too. And the “Terry!” ending was perfectly acceptable, because of the tone of the sketch.

Rating: Chris Farley, Norm Macdonald

Maroon 5 Second Performance – This was horrible. It’s like Adam Levine and Travis McCoy are trying so hard to be cool and it’s just not working. I honestly don’t get the allure of Travis McCoy or Adam Levine, but then again, I am a music lover.

Seinfeld Murder Scene – This sketch was mad funny. Day could have toned down his performance a bit, but it still worked. The detective who’s clueless about pop culture was a great conceit. And the ending was dope. Is CSI Miami ever not an awesome punchline?

Rating: Norm Macdonald

Lil’ Poundcake – Um, this is how the episode ends? Were they running long or short? What got cut? It seems odd to use a recycled commercial from just two episodes to close things out. Interesting choice.

Final Thoughts: The writers clearly played to Day’s strengths and it worked out well. Honestly it really felt like the writers were doing their best to make the episode watchable, despite the musical guest. Also, it seems like they took the bashing the got from the Anna Faris episode to heart and really stepped things up. This was a really strong episode both in terms of performance and writing.

A Sickness in the Family

2011-11-03T08:02:00.001-04:00

I've been interested in the Vertigo Crime graphic novels since they launched. The initial offering, Dark Entries, which featured John Constantine, wasn't the book that got me excited. It was the second offering, Filthy Rich, by Brian Azzarello that really got me hooked.

I've been collecting ever since.

Which brings us to this week's comic focus is the Vertigo Crime graphic novel A Sickness in the Family by Denise Mina and Antonio Fuso.

A Sickness in the Family has two strikes against it. First off, it's set in the U.K. Imports can be tricky, especially when you're dealing with brand new characters. The second is that Denise Mina's run on Hellblazer didn't really impress me all that much.

The story begins with the reader meeting Sam. He talks about someone dying and about a trial. Right off the bad you know things aren't going to end well.

Then we meet Darota and get a peek into her mundane existence before we meet her neighbors the Ushers. Ted and Biddy and their children William, Amy and adopted son Sam. Biddy's mother Martha also lives with them. It's a wonderful portrait of a family. Except that the Usher's are as dysfunctional as they come.

No one is happy and nearly everyone resents each other. Biddy and Ted have grown apart. Amy desperately want to make a name for herself, with her parents money. William is a disappointment in nearly every regard. And Sam is adopted. And we find most of this out over dinner.

Once Darota and her husband kill each other in a domestic disturbance, complete with a warning scrawled in blood on the wall, things turn far creepier. Ted decides to invest all of his money into the house, so that it will increase in value. The result of which is literally a gaping hole in the middle of the house.

Martha falls through the hole, under suspicious circumstances and become an invalid. The family begins to wonder if she fell or was pushed. Ted tries his best to hold the family together, despite every indication that it should be dissolved.

From there tensions flare and nerves are exposed. We learn which sibling has a drug habit and which parent is cheating. We also learn why Sam was adopted.

Then family members start dying. Sam suspects the occult. The police suspect someone within the family. When it's all over only two family members are still alive and we get an answer to the question "why."

Mina does a great job of mining the horror of the mundane. Nothing that occurs in A Sickness in the Family is really out of the ordinary. It's all just normal family stuff, but Mina unveils things in such a way that she really builds to a suspenseful final act. The book starts slow, but the ending is extremely satisfying.

Fuso's art is spectacular. It's a black and white book but Fuso's art really pops off the page. It's so detailed and the backgrounds are terifically rendered. And in a book that's full of emotion, Fuso conveys every singe one in such pitch perfect detail. It's a marvel to read. And Clem Robin's letting is flawless.

A Sickness in the Family doesn't grab you immediately out of the gate, it's certainly a slow burn. But once that fire gets started the book quickly becomes a page turner. It's scary with some moments of true heartbreak.

Dear Mario,...

2011-11-01T08:46:00.000-04:00

Mario and I go way back. I remember when he used to butt heads with Donkey Kong and I remember when he and his brother Luigi used to hang out in the sewer. I mean, I wasn't all that into video games back then, but I remember the days.

Mario and I first got close in like '86. But from then on, we've been pretty tight. Every couple of years we spend an intense amount of time together and then we sort of seperate.

But last weekend, when I checked out his most recent adventure, Super Mario Bros Wii, I felt it was time for an intervention of sorts.

Clearly Mario's relationship with Princess Peach is a toxic one that's not healthy for anyone involved or even anyone close to them. Lives get shattered and it's not pretty.

Now, I don't want to be "that guy" who blames the victim, but I do think that Princess Peach needs to take some responsibility. Yes, she's usually minding her own business in her kingdom when Bower comes to kidnap her, but he does it every couple of years, like clockwork. And it usually involves airships.

She needs to either invest in better security or possibly a restraining order, if they're available in her kingdom. Bowser is a constant threat and he's abducted her before, which should be cause enough to get a restraining order in any land, even the Mushroom Kingdom. Maybe they could enact some sort of anti-stalking legislation over there.

I'm not saying that she deserves to be kindnaped, but she should sort of expect it at this point. At this point Bowser is more reliable than public transportation. He's going to come for her; it's inevitable. Perhaps she could take a few more precautions?

But I'm going to be real; I believe that Bowser and Peach probably had a thing in the past. Bowser's behavior seems inline with that of a jilted lover; he's obsessive about his former beau and he's very antagonistic with her current interest. And Peach and Bowser are both royalty in neighboring kingdoms, so you know that their paths crossed in the past at official functions or state dinners or something.

If I was tight with Mario I'd tell him to move on. No chick is worth dealing with a psycho for. Because of his dealing with Peach, Mario's stuck with a lifelong enemy? That's wack.

What's worse is that Luigi's involved just because he's looking out for his brother. He's being a good sibling and now he's marked for death by a giant prehistoric turtle with a taste for blood.

This cannot be worth it for Mario. Think about the toll his adventures are taking on his personal life. He's got to spend so much time in the Mushroom Kingdom and his relationships back home have to be suffering. He probably can't hold down a job, because the minute Peach cries out he's off to save her. It's really disturbing.

Then factor in Yoshi and Toad and you've got two more characters sucked into the Bowser, Princess, Mario vortex. It's not fair. Yoshi just wants to eat things and lay eggs and Toad's allegiance to Mario has him marked for abductions every five minutes.

I guess what I'm saying is, at this point Mario is getting older and he really needs to think about his priorities. Does he want to rescue someone who continues to gets kidnapped every few years in a vicious cycle, or does he want to cut her loose and find out what he really wants to do with his life.

I can't call it.

National Novel Writing Month?

2011-10-30T08:15:00.001-04:00

So, National Novel Writing Month is just around the corner.

For those of you not in the know, November is National Novel Writing Month, when dozens of thousands of people try to cram out a coherent story comprised of at least 50k words, all in 30 days.

I've participated the last four years and met the 50k goal three of those four years. It's a fun challenge and an awesome rush.

And I don't think I'm taking part this year.

I'm not really a quitter, so it's sort of odd that I've come to this conclusion. I mean, I appreciate a good challenge as much as the next guy. In fact I usually procrastinate until I need to average 2500 words a day before I really dig in and focus on whatever I'm writing for NaNoWriMo.

And it's not that I'm devoid of ideas. I've literally got a shoebox full of pieces of paper, napkins, business cards with snippets of stories or interesting characters scribbled on them. Plus I've generally got one "big idea" brewing in my subconscious at any given time.

It's also not because I don't feel comfortable writing, because clearly I've been contributing here for the past 11 months with some degree of regularity.

There are a few reasons why I'm not participating.

I think a big reason is that it really isn't a challenge any more. Like I said earlier, I usually wait until my back is against the wall before I really decide to focus on the project. But I can easily churn out the word count.

Another reason is that I don't really dig being driven in that way. I don't like being intently focused on one thing and having everything else fall by the wayside. When I'm in my groove, I'm not watching tv, I'm not going out to eat, I'm not staying current with my reading. I'm just writing, all the time, and it's barely enjoyable.

I'd also rather spend the time paying attention to something that might actually be viable. I've got ideas that aren't really prose-appropriate that I could watering so they could grow and bear fruit. I think that November would be better spent developing something rather than creating something that no one will ever seen.

Which brings me to my final point; my NaNoWriMo projects never see the light of day. People know that they exist, but I've never shared one with anyone. No one has read any of them, not even me. Come December 1st they become files on my HD that I never revisit. (Well, except for my first NaNoWriMo project which rests on a hard drive in Vegas because it crashed.)

There's still the chance that on November 15th, I'll decide that I do really want to participate in NaNoWriMo and then I'll grind one out. But as it stands right now, I'm sitting 2011 out.

The Original Johnson vol 1

2011-10-28T08:42:00.000-04:00

I'm always on the lookout for more comics by Black creators. I enjoy comics period, but as a relatively outspoken Black guy, I sort of feel obligated to do my best to support Black creators.

Not only is The Original Johnson about Jack Johnson, but it's written and illustrated by Trevor Von Eeden a creator who's been in the industry for three decades and worked on basically every major character.

The Original Johnson is also quite good.

Confession time; Jack Johnson wasn't on my radar until the PBS documentary Unforgivable Blackness: The Rise and Fall of Jack Johnson aired. I watched it and was captivated by it's chronicling of Jack Johnson's life. It was also tragic and got me quite riled up.

The Original Johnson begins with an intro be editor Mike Gold who goes into detail about Trevor Von Eeden and their relationship, in addition to going over some basic facts about Johnson and the creation of the graphic novel.

The book begins with a prologue. The first page of the graphic novel boldly proclaims that Johnson was "the first psychologically free black man in American History." The next page offers up a rough one page biography.

From there Von Eeden sets the stage by painting a graphic portrait about what life was like at the turn of the previous century. In a two page spread Von Eeden depicts the horrors of the trans Atlantic slave trade, slavery, lynching and the KKK. It's a powerful sequence.

We first meet Johnson at eight years old, on the receiving end of a beating from neighborhood kids. His mother is tired of seeing her son coming home beaten, so she beats him down in a bit of tough love.

From there we move on to Jack's travels and experiences. We see a ten man Battle Royale that he wins. We see his first trip to New York and how it almost begins in tragedy. We see lynchings. We also see some of Johnson's various sexual conquests.

The book ends with Johnson triumphant, which sets up the fall in volume II.

This is obviously a passion project for Von Eeden. You can see the detail he went into in terms of the biographical research. He writes in the jargon of the time, which takes a second to get used to, but really sets the mood.

The book is also graphically truthful. The beatings are brutal. The lynchings are horrific. And the language is quite frank. There are a ton of N-bombs dropped and dropped in a way that boils the blood. There's also nudity.

That said, it's a powerful book about a worthy subject that not nearly enough people know about. This book should be required reading. Seriously, I can't recommend this book enough.

Quad City International Airport

2011-10-24T16:03:00.000-04:00

So, some of you may have surmised, I went on a bit of a trip recently. It took me away from the blog and actually required air travel.

One of the airports that I spent some time in was in Moline. It was actually the Quad City International Airport. (I'm assuming the "international" comes from flights to and from Canada.)

Moline is one of the Quad Cities, a place I'm sure some people are still surprised actually exists. Y'see back in the day the Quad Cities DJ's had a monster hit, but many people thought it was a purely fictional locale.

It's not.

As usually occurs with air travel there were some hiccups and delays. En route home I spent an extra hour in the airport. It wasn't entirely unpleasant. I got to catch up on some reading and had a chance to really collect my thoughts about my trip and my return.

But I also got to listen to some music that was piped into the airport. It was a weird mix of slightly obscure songs from the 70's and 80's. If the JACK FM radio format plays all of the hits from the past three decades, this station was like DAVE FM; it played all of the other singles from the past three decades.

Not hits, just singles.

Like, they played Kool & the Gang. But not "Ladies Night." Not "Celebration." Not even "Cherish", "Joanna", "Jungle Boogie" or "Get Down on It." They played "Misled" and it took me forever to realize that it a Kool & the Gang song. It was a crazy playlist of third and fourth pick song selections from bands with well known hits. Every other song conjured up a "I totally remember this song/group" moment. If I'd been more aware I would have taken notes on the songs that were played, but honestly my mind wasn't in it.

But in that extra hour I was in that airport I heard songs I hadn't hear in years. Some songs made me wonder where the artists had gone, while other songs posed perplexing questions; how did that song get made, why was it ever big? It was quite the experience.

It was also an experience in that every announcement, gate change, delay, arrival, interrupted the music, even before you made it to security. It was quite a trip, in every sense.

So I guess the point is if you get a chance to visit the Quad City International Airport you should jump at it, if only for the music.

Monday Munchies - Ben & Jerry's Schweddy Balls (Limited Batch)

2011-10-24T08:52:00.001-04:00

Some weeks back Ben & Jerry's announced that their upcoming holiday themed Limited Batch flavor would be the SNL themed Schweddy Balls, inspired by the classic Saturday Night Live sketch.

The news made the internet weep with joy.

But then when the flavor actually came out, some retailer opted not to carry it out of fear of offending customers.

We at Fish & Spaghetti managed to get our hands on some Schweddy Balls.

It was much easier than we thought. It was as simple as popping into the closest Whole Foods and snatching up three pints (just in case they got pulled from the shelves, we wanted to make sure we had one to eat, one to share and one to save for a rainy day.)

First things first; we really think the controversy is slightly absurd. Yes, "Schweddy Balls" sounds slightly crude, but we don't recall an uproar about Caramel Sutra. It's not like Ben & Jerry advertise and are going to be running commercials during kid's cartoons. It just seems slightly overblown.

Equally overblown, the actual flavor itself. It's not a bad flavor, but it's not outstanding or adventurous like Chubby Hubby or Late Night Snack. It's really a tame flavor considering all of the hoopla.

It's described as vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum and fudged covered rum and malt balls. Even that description is sort of bland.

You can't go wrong with vanilla ice cream, so Ben & Jerry were correct in making that the base. There is a hint of rum, which give it a bit of a festive smell. A reviewer over at the esteemed Impulsive Buy felt that hint wasn't strong enough. We liked it. It was a hint and We totally go it.

The actual balls are plentiful. There are both fudge covered rum balls (which are the softer of the two) and malt balls. They work really well together, but because they are two different varieties you sometimes find your self disappointed if you take a bite and get two of the same kind of ball.

Schweddy Balls probably isn't going to be a holiday classic, but it's certainly worth a try, in only for the infamy. Ironically enough, Schweddy Balls is an inoffensive enough flavor that we'll probably keep stocked up, because it makes a nice safety flavor, in case you run out of your first choice.

Catwoman: When in Rome

2011-10-22T08:08:00.000-04:00

If you dig comic books there are certain creative tandems that conjure up images of greatness. Kirby & Lee. Morrison & Quitely. Azzarello & Risso. Brubaker & Phillips.

Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale have made a name for themselves by crafting stories set in the past of icons. For Marvel they had the "color" series. For DC their stories revolved around the calendar. The Long Halloween and Dark Victory are heralded as classics. They followed up those Batman tales with Catwoman: When in Rome.

It's a story that runs concurrently with Dark Victory, so in that regard it's pretty cool. Characters leave When in Rome and show up in Dark Victory. But most of the action in this story occurs in Rome, where Catwoman is on a mission to discover the identity of her father, with The Riddler coming along for the ride.

The book features some of Sales best looking art ever. The ink washed art looks amazing, stunning even. The way he conveys motion is electric and some of the poses look good enough to be blown up and mounted. It's a visually compelling book.

The actual story leaves a bit to be desired. There's a bit of a heist and some romance. There are a couple of murky mysteries one being Selina's parentage and the other being why she's losing her grip on reality. But the story really feels sort of flat. Both Dark Victory and The Long Halloween were longer stories which build to a conclusion. When in Rome feels like a bit of a cast off and like it could have been a much better story if it weren't forced and had a bit more time in the conceiving stage.

Honestly, When in Rome is the least enjoyable pairing between Loeb and Sale that I've ever read. And I love Selina as a character. There's also the fact that it seems like sort of a retcon to lay the seeds within the continuity for The Riddler's obsession with Batman's secret identity.

I wanted to like this book so much more than I actually did. It's got Loeb & Sale returning to the early days of the Bat-verse in a story focusing on Catwoman. what's not to love?

Sadly, there's more than enough not to love.

Sunday Morning Quarterback – Ben Stiller & Foster The People

2011-10-09T04:23:00.004-04:00

Expectations were raised for this episode of SNL. Not only Ben Stiller a SNL alum, but his Ben Stiller Show is one of the great American sketch comedy programs. The Ben Stiller Show was also the first sketch comedy show that I sort of claimed as “mine.”

Among the expectations were that we’d see Stiller return to familiar characters and that the show would be not only better than last week, but, y'know, actually funny.

Here's the rating scale as usual;

Phil Hartman – Comedic gold
Chris Farley – Definitely funny, but kinda messy
Norm McDonald – Funny, but not for everyone
Tim Meadows – Solid Bit
Andy Samberg – Funny, but overstayed it’s welcome
Jim Breuer- Crowd pleaser, but a bit obvious
David Spade – Trying too hard
Chris Elliot – Didn’t click at all, how did it get on

(Also, this week Jay1 and I actually spoke on the phone after the episode to compare notes, so I've included some of his observations. Enjoy!)

Political Cold Open – This was decent bit. Christ Christie and Romney are topical. Everyone’s talking about how the GOP isn’t happy with the candidates that are running. You get Jersey jokes and fat jokes. Plus you’ve got the added bonus of mob ties.

Rating: Tim Meadows

Monologue – The Jewish holiday makes it topical. And Jewish stereotypes apparently never get old. On the downside it’s two weeks in a row with musical opening. Also, how short is Ben Stiller?

Rating: Tim Meadows

Lincoln Financial – Jay1 pointed out that this is bit would’ve been funnier if the ad campaign it’s parodying was still running. For me, the look that the future self gave when the present self went under the blanket was gold. In a bit that was Sudekis vs Sudekis, future totally killed.

Rating: Norm McDonald, Tim Meadows

Fox & Friends – I really feel bad for Vanessa Bayer. First off, she never loses herself in a character, it’s always her playing someone. As a result most of her characters strike the same notes. Secondly, she totally bungled the bongos joke and the audience was laughing at her, in the wrong way. Again, Hank Williams Jr was hot this week so in that regard they get props for making things current. Also, the corrections always make me wish I had a DVR.

Rating: Jim Breuer, Tim Meadows

Lincoln Financial II – Hader in a fatsuit with a fat guy voice is pretty much guaranteed to get a laugh. But couple that with the fact that the guy’s future is depressing and you’ve got some decent writing. Funny enough.

Rating: Tim Meadows

Best of Both Worlds – Eh, this sketch seemed to come more from the fact that they could get Hugh Jackman than from the fact that anything was actually funny. Ben Stiller did his best and was 100% into the bit. Hader was gold again in an underappreciated Clint Eastwood impression. The Harry Potter stuff seemed forced and it was meta to the point of being cute, which was annoying.

Rating: Chris Farley, Andy Samberg, David Spade

V-Necks – Great idea. Jay1 said he encountered the same existential questions of “am I v-neck guy” recently. I hope to never face that dilemma. I dug the Eurotrash aspect and the variations on the v-neck. The Negative and the Double V were personal faves.

Rating: Phil Hartman

Hank Williams Toss to Commercial – This was sort of odd. It wasn’t really funny enough to be poking fun at the situation. It was almost like a shoutout, since Sudekis was just doing Hank Williams Jr and not “crazy talking Hank Williams Jr.” It would have been funnier if he’d said more outlandish things. Also, poor Sudekis for having to sit in what I’d have to assume is a sticky fake beard for an extra ten minutes just for this toss to commercial.

Rating: Chris Elliot

Foster The People: Pumped Up Kicks – Jay1 loved this one. He found it infectious and intriguing. To hear him tell it, he was humming the catchy chorus minutes after the song was over. Jay1 liked the earnestness of some kids who were uncomfortable and didn’t behave like rock stars. I didn’t care that much for it. It was a song I’d heard talked about before and actually hearing it was disappointing.

Weekend Update – I found Nan Washington to be tolerable, but my initial thought was “yet another Kristen Wiig character?” It was funny enough, but Wiig clearly has carte blanche on the show at this point. Jay1 pointed out that Nan Washington basically has “a little bit of everything Wiig always does.” And while we were both happy to see Stefon again, we both felt it was the laziest and most predictable way to incorporate Zoolander into the show. Update was funny, but not without it’s flaws.

Shanna Halloween Party – Wow, this is the first Black guy we’ve seen in a sketch all week? And it’s after Update? Wow. Ben Stiller’s character being stuck in the 90’s was moderately funny, but I’d like to meet the person who doesn’t think that Shanna should be retired.

Rating: Andy Samberg, Jim Breuer, David Spade

Lincoln Financial III: Funny. And very quick. Totally didn't overstay it's welcome. It was pretty much perfect.

Rating: Phil Hartman

Underground Festival: Columbus Day – We both love these bits. Seriously, who doesn’t love Mrs Potato Dick and Ass Dan? How can you not love them?

Rating: Phil Hartman, Norm McDonald

Bruce Springsteen DVD Set – Props to Steve Higgins on voiceover, because he’s doing a third of the sketch. And Springsteen talking between songs is probably skewing a bit old considering SNL’s demographic, especially considering Foster The People is the musical guest.

Rating: Norm McDonald, Tim Meadows

Foster The People: Houdini – Jay1 felt this song wasn’t as good as “Pumped Up Kicks” and I felt it was completely forgettable. And then Kenny G came out, which prompted this quote from Jay1 “Ten years ago, if you’d told me that I’d respect the fact that Kenny G cosigned somebody, I’d have called you crazy.”

And than Jay1 began to wax on the lack of brass instruments of modern music and how the alto sax is like the sexually ambigious cousin to the much cooler regular saxophone. Which prompted him to spin a yarn about how he’d seen a tuba in a pawn shop window and reflected on the poor soul who had to give up on his dreams of playing a sousaphone because he had a pregnant wife, a kid and rent to pay. It was a sad story full of heartbreak.

But the point was that Kenny G totally made the performance. It was reminiscent of when Will Ferrell came out and while Queens of the Stone Age performed.

Tinyballs – This was an acceptable bit. But the real relevation is Taran Gillam as Brad Pitt. This is the second time he’s done it and this was clearly written for him. He’s got Pitt’s cadence down and this shows he’s got fans on the writing staff, which means he’s poised to be a star. Plus he’s talented as he showed last week with his dance moves in the monlogue. He’s also a workhorse. The official F&S stance is that Gillam will fill the void left when Hader, Armisen and Sudekis leave the show. And that he’s going to graduate from “Featured” next year.

Rating: Tim Meadows

Final Thoughts – This was solid episode. It didn’t disappoint, regardless of our raised expectations. Hader and Sudekis really turned in strong performances, while Armisen was almost missing. Both Black cast members turned up in one sketch apiece. On the plus side, the writers didn’t resort to any game show bits this week.

Also, next week is a new episode? I’m expecting game show bits and plenty of reoccurring characters and bits. The writers are probably burned out by now.

Justice, Inc.

2011-10-07T08:14:00.003-04:00

I've been reading comics for a minute now. One of the cool things about going to the Baltimore Comic Con is finding comics that I'd seen house ads for back in the day.

Justice, Inc is one of those books. I remember seeing the house ad in the back of old comics and it always struck me as something I wanted to pick up. That stark image of a silhouette casting a shadow was a striking one.

And now I've finally read the book.

Justice, Inc has two things going for it. First it's got art by Kyle Baker, who's like a superstar in the artist community. It's also written by Andrew Helfer, who was a dude who edited some of my favorite comics when I was a kid. So already I was looking forward to this book going in.

Plus I'd recently gotten interested in "The Avenger" when DC launched it's recently folded First Wave line featuring pulp characters like The Spirit and Doc Savage. There were some months when the Justice, Inc backups were the best part of Doc Savage issues.

But back to the Justice, Inc book, it's pretty awesome. It starts with a retelling of the circumstances that drove Richard Benson to become The Avenger and form Justice, Inc and how he got his malleable face. It's a quaint origin even by comic book standards.

Then we jump to 1948, where Benson has become a bit disillusioned with his mission to conquer crime. Most of the people looking for his services are either trying to catch cheating spouses or looking for security. And then an agent from the Internal Security Agency offers Benson a chance to serve his country.

Ironically their first case together ends horribly enough that Benson vows never to work for them again. Yet by 1951 he's fully employed by them and allowing them to augment his already impressive abilities.

From their Benson becomes the ISA agent de jour during the Cold War. His abilities allow him to assassinate and pose as leaders of countries seemingly in play during the Cold War. Unfriendly nations suddenly become friendly once Benson gets involved.

Then in 1958 Benson makes a shocking discovery; there are others with his abilities on the other side of the Cold War. It's a revelation that sets him out on discovering the truth. And in discovering the truth he uncovers the larger pictures and finds out a) he's a pawn who's been manipulated for years and b) the identity responsible for his becoming The Avenger.

From there it's betrayal and revenge. His former Justice Inc allies turn against him and he gets to taste revenge. It provides a satisfying conclusion to a genuinely suspenseful story.

Helfer does a good job of fleshing out the characters. Fergus MacMurdie's got his distinct accent and Benson always seems to be an odd mix of driven and conflicted. What's really funny is how a book that came out over two decades years ago during the end of the Cold War, still feels relevant thanks to the recent Arab Spring.

Baker's art is brilliant. It's both stark and sparse, yet it doesn't lack any storytelling elements. Faces and features seem almost hazy, but it fits with the motif of the book which is about flexible notion of identity, so faces aren't all that important. I was a fan of Baker's work before reading this book, but I've got a whole new respect for him now.

Honestly, Justice, Inc is one of the best stories I've read in awhile. The marriage of art and story is perfect. And it's such a satisfying story in every regard. This book was so good that it makes me want to rush and read Helfer and Baker's collaboration on The Shadow. I can not recommend this book enough, which is ironic because I'm pretty sure you can find it for dirt cheap.

Enjoy it. I did.

Remembering - Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T08:33:00.000-04:00

It's sort of weird because originally I planned to write something about the iPhone 4S and how I was tempted to get one now that Sprint is going to offer them. I was going to explore my thoughts and conflicts about the whole thing.

And then I heard Steve Jobs had died.

Give that, I figured I'd reflect on the impact Steve Jobs has had on my life.

Up until relatively recently I wasn't really that big on Apple products. In fact my first one was a hand-me-down second generation iPod. It was cool in that it held what I thought was an obscene amount of music.

(One of the reasons I was so late on the iTunes scene was because I was a huge fan of the minidisc. I still have minidiscs and my favorite stereo is capable of playing minidiscs.)

But that iPod mini was dope. I can honestly barely remember how I listened to music on the go before it came into my life.

A year ago last Christmas I got a MacBook Pro. While I've totally squandered all of the awesome things it's capable of doing, it's still capable of doing them. A year ago February I got a 32G iTouch. And just a couple months ago I bought Apple TV. Apple is a huge part of my life. In fact on Monday I literally used six different Apple products throughout the entire day.

Fish & Spaghetti has certainly prospered because of Apple. When I write about Breaking Bad or Mad Men, they're shows I purchased from iTunes and watch on my television via Apple TV. When I write about Sons of Anarchy, it's a show that I watch on my MacBook Pro via Hulu. When I write about anything, I'm using my MacBook Pro. And when I tweet, I'm using my iTouch or my MacBook Pro.

I was visiting my Aunt a few months back and we were talking about Apple and Steve Jobs. She remarked that he'd looked as though he'd seen better days and that she was worried about him. She also worried about Apple without him steering the ship.
When Steve Jobs stepped down from Apple in August, I thought back to her words. And when I read the news about the iPhone 4S and every story seemed to note the absence of Steve Jobs it gave me pause. But none of the above prepared me for when the rumors of his death began to swirl around work. It was a blower.

So, while I'm glad that Steve Jobs is no longer suffering, I'm really going to miss his innovations and brilliance.

Monday Munchies - Smartfood Kettle Corn

2011-10-03T08:54:00.000-04:00

I'm a fan of corn. . I like corn on the cob. I like creamed corn. I liked popcorn. I even like succotash. In fact I'm pretty sure is the only corn that I don't get some kind of enjoyment from is, well, Korn.

Popcorn is probably my favorite kind of corn because it comes in so many varieties. It can be sweet or savory. It can fit whatever mood you're in. It's like the perfect snack.

So you can imagine my elation when I went I popped into a grocery store and saw that Smartfood was offering up Kettle Corn.

Now back in the day Smartfood had the white cheddar popcorn game completely sewn up. I can distinctly remember stocking up on the stuff between classes during high school. In fact, I can remember being devastated when the vending machines ran out it. Like, it ruined my day.

And since Smartfood's white cheddar popcorn was my high school (snack) love, I was very interested in seeing what they were going to offer up in terms of Kettle Corn. Kettle corn can be a tricky proposition because different people expect different thing.

Unlike caramel corn or cheese corn, Kettle Corn has two flavor components; it's salty and sweet. As a result there's an entire spectrum of flavors that one can encounter. Sometime the Kettle Corn's emphasis is on the sweet with a hint of salt, while sometimes it's the opposite. And sometimes it's perfectly balanced.

Smartfood adds something new to the mix. But before I get to the flavors allow me to rave about the kernels. I've literally never seem a bag with such large and fully popped kernels. The kernels are huge. As an avid snacker it's refreshing to enjoy a product that looks amazing.

The flavor is...interesting. It's actually subdued. Smartfood's Kettle Corn tips more on the "sweet" side of the scale, but just barely. It should also be noted that the emphasis is clearly on the popcorn; the flavor seems like almost an afterthought. The flavor is there, but it's hardly powerful. It's not too sweet or too salty because it's just adequately both.

Smartfood's Kettle Corn isn't my favorite Kettle Corn on the market, but it's not something that I'll turn my nose away from either. It's a decent snack with some marvelous looking kernels.

Sunday Morning Quarterback – Melissa McCarthy & Lady Antebellum

2011-10-02T03:18:00.005-04:00

I love Saturday Night Live. I’ve got fond memories of laughing at Mr. Bill with my mom. I can remember the summer that my cousins and I all discovered Eddie Murphy’s Buckwheat, how funny we thought it was and how our parents (and aunts and uncles) probably hated the fact that they’d let up stay up late enough to watch it.

So, while I’m not the biggest SNL nerd in the world (or even at Fish & Spaghetti Industries) I’m a big enough fan that I’d feel pretty comfortable talking about the show with anyone. And that’s why I feel comfortable enough to do Sunday Morning Quarterback.

As always with rating the sketches here’s the system we use;

Phil Hartman – Comedic gold
Chris Farley – Definitely funny, but kinda messy
Norm McDonald – Funny, but not for everyone
Tim Meadows – Solid Bit
Andy Samberg – Funny, but overstayed it’s welcome
Jim Breuer- Crowd pleaser, but a bit obvious
David Spade – Trying too hard
Chris Elliot – Didn’t click at all, how did it get on

The Lawrence Welk Show – Right off the bat and things are troublesome. There’s nothing going on politically in the world? You’re going to start off the show with Dooneese acting goofy? And with Melissa McCarthy doing physical shtick. It’s barely a funny bit as it is and the inclusion of McCarthy didn’t help any.

Rating: Jim Breuer, David Spade

Monologue: Calling the monologue uneven would be kind. Sadly it’s here that the episode beings to take it’s shape. Rather than a well written monologue, we get more reliance on physical comedy with a hint of chemistry between McCarthy and Wiig. The “I’m about to dance, but wait a minute” joke got tired fast. The monologue wasn’t clever, but more than that, it wasn’t funny. Taran Killam and Bobby Moynihan deserve props for their dance moves.

Rating: Jim Breuer, David Spade

Lil Poundcake – Finally, something topical, although it came out of left field. At first I seemed like the joke was about an edible name, and then came the HPV shots. It was a nice blending of toy ads and pharm commercials. Maybe a bit too subtle? Also, the disposal of the dolls seemed a bit too rigidly pharm commercial.

Rating: Tim Meadows, Andy Samberg

Arlene – Look, it’s McCarthy doing a riff on her airplane scene in Bridesmaids. So now not only are the writers relying heavily on physical shtick, but they’re essentially recycling material? This would’ve been great for NBC’s “Green Week.” Is there anything funnier than an unattractive female character being overtly sexual? Just about everything. Which isn’t to say that there’s never an appropriate time to pretend that you’re fellating a horse, but SNL might not be the right venue. Bill Hader did do his best to save the sketch though and almost redeemed it.

Rating: Andy Samberg, Jim Breuer, David Spade

Digital Short - This was just “eh.” It started off as a goofy parody and grew into working. And shooting at the Blue Man Group was funny initially. But then it went on. And on. And on.

Rating: Tim Meadows, Andy Samberg

The Comments Section – This premise had such promise; everyone knows the worst thing about the internet are the people who leave comments. But then it went from promise to stereotyping and shooting fish in a barrel. People who leave obnoxious comments are losers with bad hair? Way to aim high writers. At least McCarthy was subdued in her portrayal of a clichéd internet loser. And then things end with punching. Boo.

Rating: Andy Samberg, Jim Breuer

Chris Rock on Broadway – Jay Pharoah’s Chris Rock impression must have killed in middle school, which is also probably the last time it was relevant. In case you’re wondering Chris Rock hasn’t had a stand up show in over three years, which in current time is close to a decade. This just felt like a ham-fisted way to wedge Jay into the show.

Rating: Andy Samberg, Jim Breuer, David Spade

Lady Antebellum First Performance – Speaking of popular things from the past, glad to see Country stars have jumped on the Metrosexual craze of 2002. Lady Antebellum makes it hard to defend Country music.

Weekend Update – Seth killed. Gaddafi’s Two Best Friends From Growing Up are always welcome, anytime. As is Tyler Perry. Thank goodness for Weekend Update for providing some much needed humor to the show.

Taste Test – Wow. McCarthy gets to play another sad sack. That’s never going to get old. Actually this bit is mildly funny and equally predictable. Is there anyone who didn’t see Linda getting covered in ranch before the sketch was over? Sadly it’s yet another sketch with emphasis on performance over writing.

Rating: Jim Breuer, David Spade

The Essential: Lulu Diamonds– Nice. There was a modicum of effort to make this sketch funny. McCarthy had some funny lines as did her suitors. But again, there’s the reliance on physical comedy. Isn’t McCarthy falling down stairs funny? Not particularly. Maybe it’ll be funnier the fifth time it happens.

Rating: Andy Samberg, Jim Breuer, David Spade

Lady Antebellum Second Performance – Do Country music aficionados feel about Lady Antebellum the way Hip-Hop aficionados feel about LMFAO or Kreayshawn? It’s something to consider. The chemistry between the two lead singers in Lady Antebellum is remarkable. It’s like the chemistry that exists between to actors on two different shows airing on different nights on separate networks.

Bar Skit – It’s a typical five to one skit. It’s goofy and the jokes hit like a sledgehammer. It’s not notable and certainly not memorable, but it’s an inoffensive enough way to end the show.

Rating: Tim Meadows

Final Thoughts: It felt like the writers too a week off. The preponderance of physical bits and the reliance on McCarthy to freestyle was annoying and practically every skit feel the same. It seemed like the writers weren’t focused on writing funny material so much as they were writing Melissa McCarthy material. The fact that Wiig, Hader and Armisen barely showed up was troubling. This is not a good sign.

Friday Face-Off - Gus Fring vs Hank Schrader

2011-09-30T08:11:00.001-04:00

They've been two of the most riveting characters to watch this season on Breaking Bad. They're also two of the most diametrically opposed characters on the show; if you're rooting for one that means you're rooting against the other.

We at Fish & Spaghetti are torn; should be be Team Hank or Team Gus? We figured we'd dust off the ol' Friday Face-Off to help settle things.

What's that, you'd forgotten about the Friday Face-Off? Don't sweat it, we won't take it personally. Would you care for a shot of Zafiro Anejo? C'mon, even the bottle's a work of art.

As usual we'll be judging the Gus and Hank in three different categories; Relationship with Walter White, Cartel Encounters and Signature Product.

Relationship with Walter White

The show is about Walter White, which basically means that every other character relates, in some way, to him. But with Gus and Hank it's almost like Walt is caught between the two of them.

Hank's relationship with Walt is very much like a typical in-law relationship; there's little in common and often times it feels like an obligation. Hank helps Walt move. Walt helps Hank with an off the books investigation of Gus Fring. Little does he know that Walt is the guy he really wants behind bars.

Gus' relationship with Walt is a bit more complex. Gus needed Walt to cook meth for him. And when Walt became more of a problem Gus opted to kill him and replace him with Gale, a plan that Walt and Jesse thwarted. Now, once again, Walt has outlived his usefulness and once again Gus wants him dead.

No matter how you cut it, Hank has the better relationship with Walt. Sure, it's built on lies and deception but at least Hank doesn't want Walt dead.

Advantage: Hank

Cartel Encounters

Hank's had a few runs with The Cartel. First off, while looking for Walt, he met Hector Salamanca and killed Tuco Salamanca. After that Hank went off to El Paso where he helped broker a deal with Tortuga for information on The Cartel. Of course that deal went sour and ended up with the slaughter of several DEA agents and Hank getting a severe case of PTSD. Finally Hank was targeted for death Leonel and Marco Salamanca. He not only survived but killed Marco.

Gus's history with The Cartel goes back decades. Twenty years ago Hector Salamanca killed Gus' lover/business partner Max when they were trying to expand the Los Pollos Hermanos "enterprise." Gus orchestrated the death of Cartel capo Juan Bolsa Gus also withstood attempts by The Cartel to disrupt his distribution network. Finally Gus avenged Max's death and took out Don Eladio and several capos by poisoning them, and himself.

While Hank has managed to survive all of his encounters with The Cartel, Gus eliminated two Cartel leaders even going as far as to put is life on the line to do it. And more importantly, Gus did it for love. (Sort of.)

Advantage: Gus

Signature Product

Sure Hank's job is with the DEA and he's got investigation in his blood. And recently he's become a bit of a ~~rock~~ mineral enthusiast. But his passion is with brewing. Hank pours his heart into Schraderbrau, the microbrew he creates in his garage. He's created labels and even bottles the stuff himself. It's truly a labor of love for him.

And while people might think that Gus' signature product is the blue crystal, it's not. Sure the blue crystal is immensely more pure than any biker crank on the market, but his signature product is Los Pollos Hermanos chicken. They use the freshest herbs and spices. The finest ingredients are brought together with loving care, then slow cooked to perfection. The result is chicken that is so zesty and piquant, it's possibly the best chicken in North America.

While we're sure that both Schraderbrau and Los Pollos Hermanos chicken go great together, Los Pollos Hermanos quite literally brings more to the table.

Advantage: Gus

So there you have it. While Hank has a better relationship with Walt, Gus not only has won his run ins with The Cartel but chicken from his Los Pollos Hermanos is unbeatable. We're Team Gus all the way.

So enjoy it Gustavo, because we're pretty sure you're not going to survive the season.

Next Week: Better use of Damon Wayans Jr in an all white cast; New Girl or Happy Endings?

JLA: Welcome to the Working Week

2011-09-29T08:14:00.000-04:00

Since Patton Oswalt decided to completely give up on DC Comics yesterday, I decided that now would be as good a time as any to take a peek back at a time when the relationship between the two comic entities wasn't quite as contentious.

(Yeah, I know you were expecting a "fill in the blank" Thursday, but it's the one weekday that never had a regular feature. Our fault. Way to go Thursday.)

Welcome to the Working Week is a sort of "behind the scenes" account to a typical week in the life of the JLA. It's a unique portrait that's sort of a second cousin to The Unauthorized Biography of Lex Luthor.

Basically Marlus Randone is a guy who has his own zine about super heroes called Save Us! When his neighborhood is attacked by aliens, the entire population is transported to the JLA Watchtower for their protection while the JLA deals with the threat.

Once the threat is dealt with, everyone except for Marlus goes home. He stays and decides to crash on Watchtower and investigate what the JLA does on their downtime.

Marlus sees Batman broker a deal with a super villain and Superman literally offer refuge to a foe. He catches a glimpse of Wonder Woman's training regimen and Batman testing his own personal limits. And he sees what it's like when Plastic Man throws a party.

The story even has some moments of tenderness, but to detail them would be spoiling.

Oswalt is a comic fan and his love for the characters shines though. While the book never reeks of fan fiction, there is an occasional whiff of it. Oswalt also has a keen eye and ear for pop culture, so all of the references really do ring true.

Welcome to the Working Week also provides an early glimpse at the super hot talent of Patrick Gleason. Currently a hot property, back in 2003 when the book was released, Gleason was a rising talent. It's really interesting to see how his work as changed over the years.

It's as shame that Oswalt has decided to bail on DC, because it seems that they could really use someone with this a) geek cred b) celebrity and c) unique voice working on a title right about now.

Oh well.

Wild Pitch Wednesday - The Hangover 3

2011-09-28T08:12:00.001-04:00

From what I've heard the second Hangover was an absolute retread of the original. It was uninspired even by sequel standards.
Still, it was a success which means that it's only a matter of time until The Hangover 3 hits theaters.

Well, allow Fish & Spaghetti to take the first stab at pitching out a potential plot for the inevitable blockbuster. And I've got a way to ensure that it'll be the blockbuster to end all blockbusters.

So we start off with Stu, Phil, Alan and Doug prepping to go on an Virgin Galactic Flight for Alan's birthday. Stu is a bit excited and Phil is just going along for the ride. Oh and Doug is there because once again they need someone to look for in the next two acts. There's the usual teasing and jocular talk between the guys..

Naturally there would be pre-take off jitters which would require some relaxation pills, provided by Sir Richard Branson. Between the pills and the physical stress of leaving the atmosphere, everyone loses consciousness.

When they wake up, the space plane has landed and only Stu, Phil and Alan are still on the it. They step outside of the plane and wander around a bit, all the time bickering about how this is yet another mess they've gotten involved in. And then they're accosted by a talking ape.

That's right, they've landed on the Planet of the Apes.

From there not only do they have to rescue Doug, but they've got to find a way to get off of the Planet of the Apes. And hilarity ensures when, because of his hirsute nature, the Apes believe that Alan is a mentally challenged ape. (See what I did there with the sophomoric humor?) And while a Chow appearance would be forced, if you have him play Doctor Zaius, you keep the original conceit intact.

As for the obligatory celebrity roles, you can pretty much pick and choose. Virgin Galactic is a space flight, only the super cool and super rich are going to be jumping on that thing.

Boom. There you have it. You marry two of the past summer's biggest hits together in one sequel. You get Planet of the Apes, but played for laughs with a hard "R" rating. And you also get to spin The Hangover franchise into a new direction a self aware one.

I'm telling you The Hangover 3 would (and should) be out of this world.

Twitter Tuesday - #occupywallstreet #toomuchdoubt

2011-09-27T08:05:00.000-04:00

Twitter can be an interesting place. Much like anything in the modern world it is what you make of it. It can be a useful tool for gathering instant feedback and having your finger on the pulse of the country.

Or you could follow Lil Duval and washed up porn stars.

But this past week, instead of being the venue for the story, Twitter was the story.

You see last week two things happened that people were eager to tweet about. One was that some people got tired of the power that corporations have in society and decided to decamp to Wall Street in an effort to protest and being attention to the problem. The other was the pending execution of Troy Davis, who many people believe was an innocent man sentenced to die.

Now, for those of you aren't that familiar with Twitter, there usually ten "trending topics", one which is promoted, while the other nine which are things people are actually tweeting about. Sometimes it's what people are currently tweeting about, for instance during the Emmys when Modern Family was destroying the competition "Modern Family" was trending.

The other sort of trending topic features a hash tag. For instance during the Emmys when people wanted to add their comments or snark to the discussion they'd often end tweets with #emmys. That lumped all of those tweets together in an easy to search timeline.

All of this to say that while people were occupying Wall Street and doubting the guilt of Troy Davis, Twitter prevented #occupywallstreet and #toomuchdoubt from becoming trending topics. Enough people were tweeting about them to push them to the top of the list, but the people at Twitter prohibited them from appearing on the Trending Topic list.

People were less than happy.

Some pointed out the hypocrisy of the role Twitter played during the recent Arab Spring uprisings with the blatant acts of censorship in regards to what people were actually tweeting about. Other people were outraged at the censorship under the guise of trying to be inoffensive.

I understood the complaints. It seems like almost daily Twitter allows a Black remix a Jeff Foxworthy bit to be a trending topic, which everyone happily participates in. So when it comes to something as important as possibly getting an innocent man freed or creating a revolution akin to Arab Spring, it just felt rather safe.

But what I found most offensive about the whole Troy Davis ordeal is that it felt so phony. It felt as though everyone were jumping on the Troy Davis bandwagon. It was actually quite sickening. Especially because I knew that the only reason people offered any faux interest is because celebrities were tweeting about it.

It was really disturbing to see people feign interest in something I knew would be gone in less than a week. Their interest in saving a man who may have been innocent would only last as long as there wasn't anything else for them to flock their attention to, and probably something involving reality tv.

It was almost like the disturbing displays of skim sympathy that a celebrity gets once their death hits twitter; it's like the people who were mocking you last week or didn't even care about you are now suddenly devastated at your passing.

Only the stuff with Troy Davis was happening in real time and while he was still alive. It turned my stomach almost as much as the censoring did.

But at the end of they, Twitter doesn't belong to anyone other than those people who made it and run it. And if they deem something offensive and don't wish to see it promoted it, tweeters should suck it up. It's the price they pay for playing in Twitter's sandbox.

Also, I highly doubt that anyone would be crying foul if Twitter blocked a trending topic created by Storm Front.

It was captivating to see who cared about the censoring and made a big deal out of it. It got to the point where the censoring almost became as a large a stories that were being censored. Which was ironic and sad.

And that's what happened on Twitter this week.

Monday Munchies - Baja Fresh's Nacho Burrito

2011-09-26T08:30:00.000-04:00

I'll never forget my first trip to Baja Fresh. It was Friday September 21st, 2003. I know this because it was the season premiere of Ed a show that's very near and dear to my heart.

I know this because I missed the beginning of the episode because my roommate at the time was completely distracted by the salsa and pepper bar.

Let me explain.

First let me back up a bit. The first time I heard of Baja Fresh was when I was lamenting the lack of good Mexican food in Baltimore. Now this was back in 2003, before there were places that catered to the growing latino population of the city. Back then, the best you could really hope for in the city were "tex mex" places that didn't really cut it.

So I was at work, vocally lamenting the lack of good eateries when a coworker asked if I'd been to Baja Fresh. I'd never heard of the place to so I asked her to tell me more, which she did. She gave it glowing praise and as someone I trusted, I gave her words weight.

I go home and tell the roommate about Baja Fresh and suggest we should check it out, since the roommate being a transplant from the West (she's from Cali) was always on the lookout for a better Mexican option. She'd also heard of it and was equally intrigued.

We do a little bit of research and find out that this mythical place is in Timonium. Not exactly close, but not too far.

Boom. We both have have Friday September 21st, 2003 off so we can catch the season premiere of the delightful show Ed. We've been waiting the entire summer to find out what's going to happen with Ed and Carol and everyone else in Stuckeyville. We figure we can make an event out of it by going to Baja Fresh and getting some good food to go with the viewing experience. It sounds perfect.

Except that once we get there we are overwhelmed. The menu is amazing and everything looks good. We essentially order one of everything. Our bill is right around $60, for two people, at Baja Fresh. We were ordering like two cliched high characters on a tv show. But we weren't under any sort of influence, we were just awed by the spectacular menu options.

So, I'll take my part of the blame. I ordered too much food, which took longer than we anticipated. But after we have the food, not while we're waiting for it, the roommate decides to attack the condiment bar. Again, she's getting one of everything. She's got at least six different containers of various salsas and peppers. She's the one holding us up.

We get home in time to catch the opening theme to Ed. We miss the moment we'd been waiting the entire summer to witness. I was less than happy.

Fast forward to our time in Vegas and there's a Baja Fresh right across the street from my place of employment. Literally across the street. And that Baja Fresh becomes part of my Monday routine.

Monday is my "Saturday" because I'm off on Tuesday and Wednesday. So I leave work on Monday, pick up my Nacho Burrito and hop on the bus home. I get home, get comfortable and dig in. My first bite of my Nacho Burrito is like my first taste of freedom, because I don't have to do anything for the next two days.

And I do this virtually every Monday.

Flash forward further and I'm back in Baltimore. I haven't had Baja Fresh in years and I genuinely miss it. Chipolte and Qdoba are merely adequate, but barely satisfy my burrito desires.

And then I discover a coworker who live near the Timonium Baja Fresh. My prayers are answered.

She brings me a Nacho Burrito and it's just as I remembered it. It's heft and girth. It's full of goodness.

I dig the mix of Jack and Cheddar cheese and how they balance out the plentiful jalapenos. I love how the Queso Fundido and Salsa Crema mix in with the rice and beans. And that's not even getting into the crunch or the chicken. It's the way that everything mixes together in that tortilla to create such a satisfying experience. The Nacho Burrito is so much more than just the sum of it's ingredients.

Simply put; the Nacho Burrito is one of my favorite menu items anywhere.

And now it's back in my life and I've never been happier.

Sunday Morning Quarterback – Alec Baldwin & Radiohead

2011-09-25T03:16:00.003-04:00

At Fish & Spaghetti industries we have weekly meetings (or conference calls if someone can’t make it into the office) to discuss blog content. We literally take for hours about potential Friday Face-Offs or Point/Counter-Points. We talk about new features and theme weeks.

Sadly you’ll never get to see most of it. But consider Sunday Morning Quarterback one of the lucky ones that made it out of the conversation stage and onto the blog.

Being the comedy geeks and SNL fans that we are, for years we’ve wanted to give our thoughts on new episodes. Amongst ourselves we’d dissect episodes every week, critiquing and praising.

And now you get to read it.

Basically we're going to give our thoughts on Saturday Night Live this season. Now for the sake of blog, we're going to implement a rating system. It just a way to rank a sketch. And since it's SNL, we'll be using cast members as the ratings.

Phil Hartman = Comedic gold
Chris Farley = Definitely funny, but kinda messy
Norm McDonald = Funny, but not for everyone
Tim Meadows = Solid Bit
Andy Samberg = Funny, but overstayed it’s welcome
Jim Breuer = Crowd pleaser, but a bit obvious
David Spade = Trying too hard
Chris Elliot = Didn’t click at all, how did it get on

Republican Debate – And so the new season begins with the long standing tradition of political satire opening the show. It’s a funny bit with Bill Hader doing some heavy lifting as Shepherd Smith. Seeing Paul Brittain and Taran Killam getting some screen time and working on impressions gives me hope that these guys will have memorable runs on the show.

Still, the sketch was overly long. It was like ten minutes long. The high points were Taran Killam’s John Huntsman showing off his extensive knowledge of Chinese culture and Alec Baldwin’s Rick Perry.

Rating: Jim Breuer & Andy Samberg

The Monologue: It’s not Alec Baldwin’s first rodeo, but things were still choppy. The whole Ben & Jerry’s bit was supposed to be a fake out with the Steve Martin reveal, but that’s not how it played. Clearly the opening sketch ran long, which necessitated Baldwin’s rushed delivery during the monologue. Also, while I’m happy for Seth Rogen, I’m equally sick of him.

Rating: Chris Farley & Jim Breuer

Red Flag Perfume – Now this is classic style SNL ad parody. It’s humorously relevant, yet a spot on for the genre. The performances were there, plus it gets bonus points for incorporating the episode’s host, Baldwin, into the whole thing.

Rating: Phil Hartman

All My Children Wrap Party – This was dumb funny. Apart from the woefully miscast Vanessa Bayer as Susan Lucci, it was really solid. There were some hiccups with staging, which can be forgiven especially on the season premiere.

Trotting out the soap opera tropes, the overacting, the names of the characters, the close ups and the hair and costumes all worked in perfect conjunction. This is surely one bit that killed during read through.

Rating: Tim Meadows & Chris Farley

Satellite Delay – This one must have been difficult to pitch because it’s pretty high concept. But it worked. It was a funny, harmless bit. Sadly it was one of those sketches where there was really no ending, which is difficult to pull off. Still, it wasn’t bad.

Rating: Jim Breuer & Andy Samberg

Radiohead Song #1 – Dope to see Thom getting his groove on. He’s never looked more relaxed onstage. And they’ve got two drummers? Dopeness. Also, Lotus Flower is easily one of the best songs on The King of Limbs.

Weekend Update – It’s the fake news, what more could you ask for? Seth is still Seth, doing the snark alec thing. Also, can anyone ever get enough of Alec Baldwin’s Tony Bennett? Weekend Update was so good that it felt too short.

Who’s On Top – Apparently Bill Hader is the go to guy on the cast for “game show host.” He is good with the faux sincerity, but they should give the guy some room to stretch now and again.

The sketch was sophomoric and juvenile, but it was funny. It probably could have been funny if it had more room to breathe and so you could get the full creepiness of Alec Baldwin’s character. It’s also undoubtedly a game that SNL writers play when they’re supposed to be writing.

Rating: Jim Breuer & David Spade

Top Gun Screen Tests: Funny bit full of great performances. Again, Alec Baldwin gets to flex his impression muscles. Everyone was funny in this. But it looked like Killam was Prince. Did Armisen retire his Prince impression? Also, why was Jay “All I Do Are Impressions” Pharoah absent from this one?

Rating: Phil Hartman

Child Psychologist Date Sketch – First off, props to the directing and staging. This was a well-choreographed sketch. Sure it was predictable, but the daughter appeared and disappeared rather fluidly. The only flaw would be that we barely got to see Baldwin mouth the words on the note.

It was predictable. It had an obvious ending, but Baldwin’s like were very funny, especially when he mentioned his ex.

Rating: Jim Breuer & Tim Meadows

Radiohead Song #2 – Staircase is a cool song. The performance is mesmerizing. Like, it was literally hypnotic.

Angels in the Trenches – Really funny bit. The rising level of absurdity really made it a winner. From Baldwin’s increasingly intimate demands to the eventual “your mom” jokes, it was inspired. Mostly it was a perfect “five to one” sketch.

Rating: Tim Meadows

Final Thoughts: I was happy to see that Fred Armisen and Kristen Wiig will be on the show this year, I was genuinely worried that they’d be leaving. Oddly enough I was surprised by the lack of Jay Pharoah. It was a strong season premiere and the lack of falling back on established characters gives me real faith in the writing for the season.

The Executor

2011-09-23T13:42:00.001-04:00

It's raining like crazy right now. Like, I'm talking torrential downpour. Since that pretty much relegates me to the crib, I figured I'd take some time out and try my best to make good on a promise I made to myself.

A promise to read more comic books and blog about it.

The focus this week is the Vertigo Crime graphic novel The Executor

The story starts off with Miriam Litwiller running for her life. She's chased, caught and killed.

Then we meet Joe Ullen who shares an awkward moment with his girlfriend. From their brief interaction we can see that things aren't right in the relationship. The awkwardness is interrupted by Joe getting the call that Miriam's dead and that he's been named her executor.

We get some brief flashbacks to his memories of her and then Joe leaves to return to Elora, New York to perform his duties. And it seems like awkwardness follows Joe wherever he goes, because Miriam's service is just as off kilter as anything else up to that point.

From there the story progresses. We meet Lloyd, the sheriff and his daughter Naomi who was a classmate of Joe's. We also learn that Joe's the pride of Elora, a high school star who made it to the NHL only to have his career cut short.

We also meet Irkar a Mohawk with a temper who happens to not only be Miriam's boyfriend, but also the person every suspects had a hand in her demise. We learn that tensions between the Indians and the whites has been on rise due in part to a missing persons case involving an abducted child.
And we meet Dia Brown the queenpin on the reservation.

Threads connect and lives intersect as the plot thickens. Joe uncovers how everything's connected as well as a couple of secrets that go back to his days in high school. We also learn that Joe has a huge secret, something that he's been carrying with him since high school, which explains why he's willing to fly across the country to see to the will of an ex-girlfriend from high school.

The Executor is a very good read. It starts slowly, but sucks you in. A conspiracy is built and all of the pieces fit, though in the beginning it feels like there's almost too much to keep track of. Jon Evans does a good job of revealing how the pieces connect and showing how a former NHL goon is able to piece it all together. There are plenty of twists and turns and the skeleton in Joe's closet is indeed a dark one. But Jon Evans makes it all fit and all believable. He also captures the tension between native communities and their neighbors and all of the nonchalant racism that exists in those situations.

Andrea Mutti's art is spectacular. Every character looks unique and the scenes set in the past truly reflect the fashions of the time. Seeing the characters back in high school just shows how much time and their secrets have aged them, and Mutti's art shows that in stunning detail. It's moody, it's atmospheric. If it wasn't for the subject matter the art would be a joy, but given the tone it's totally gripping.

I was surprised. I didn't think I was going to enjoy The Executor as much as I did, but it totally sucked me in. I was enthralled and turning pages feverishly. I was disgusted at the reveal of what was really going on, but that's how good the book is; it provoked an emotional response.

Um, it's a good read.

Review - Homeland

2011-09-20T08:08:00.000-04:00

Watching anything on Youtube is tricky for me. For some reason, with my network set up, it takes forever to load. So while I start out trying to watch something, I end up learning lessons about frustration and patience.

It's weird because I never have a problem with Xfinity or Hulu. But Youtube give me fits.

Still, when I heard that Showtime was offering up the premiere episode of their much hyped new drama, Homeland, before it's air date and it was on Youtube, I knew I was going to have to suck it up and get a piece of that action.

Homeland focuses on it's two leads; Claire Dames as Carrie Mathison, a CIA agent investigating Damian Lewis' Nicholas Brody a recently released POW.

Carrie got word from an asset that Al-Qaeda had turned an American POW, so when Brody is rescued red flags start going off. But because of her own troubled past, she harbors 9/11 guilt, her interaction with her asset caused an international incident, she had an affair with a superior, she's looked at as a loose cannon who's on her last strike.

Brody is an honest to goodness American hero, something the nation is in short supply of, and even Carrie's soft touch is deemed too hard. So she mounts a rogue investigation.

Meanwhile Brody is adjusting to normal life. His family has learned to function in the eight years he's been missing and presumed dead. His children are older and barely remember him. When he and his wife are intimate again, first she recoils at the brutality inflicted upon him and then at the brutality he inflicts on her. And later Brody begins to suspect his wife has been sleeping with his best friend. But still he tries to be a good man.

However all is not what it seems. Mathison, unbeknownst to anyone other than the P.I. she employs in her investigation, is taking anti-psychotic medication, so there's a chance that she's seeing terrorists where there aren't any.

On the other hand, Brody isn't telling the truth about his time as a POW. We learn this via literal flashbacks to his time as a prisoner. He knows more than he's telling, but does that mean that he's a terrorist?

Mathison does manage to find something incriminating, in a truly inspired sequence. It's actually quite masterful how the pieces connect, which allows the series to continue past the pilot stage.

Dames gives a powerful performance as a severely broken character. She's the typical "crusading federal agent" only with a jury of skeletons in her closet. Mathison is wasting away having meaningless one-night stands until Brody gives her something to focus herself on. Dames manages to embrace the challenge without going over the top.

Lewis' performance is an exhibit in restraint. Much like the character he played in Life, Lewis' Brody experience the worst of humanity as a prisoner. But unlike Life's Charlie Crews, Brody exhibits not mirth or merriment, he's a total mystery. We don't know what he's doing and only get glimpses of what he's thinking, occasionally. It's one of those restrained performances where when emotion finally comes, it will be worth the wait.

Rounding out the cast are V's Morena Baccarin as Brody's wife and Mandy Patinkin as Mathison's handler. They each share the scene different leads, yet give no ground in terms of energy or performance.

Homeland was easily one of the best hours I've seen from a pay cable channel in awhile. It's instantly engaging and it's hold on you grows tighter as the hour progressed.

My worry is that Homeland will get me invested. Showtime has a history of pulling the plug on shows prematurely. The critically acclaimed Huff ended after two seasons with plenty of dangling plot lines, while Out of Order ended up being just six episodes. Brotherhood ended prematurely, but with some degree of closure but Filthy Gorgeous never got past the pilot stage.

Given all that, I'm worried about the survival for a show as nuanced as Homeland, especially on a channel that seems to cater to an audience looking for flash (Dexter, Nurse Jackie, Weeds, Californication) rather than substance.

But Homeland is good enough that I may have to consider getting cable again.

Monday Munchies - Franken Berry

2011-09-19T18:54:00.003-04:00

As a kid, one of the most enticing aspects of adulthood was being able to eat whatever I wanted when I wanted. Ma Serpico was a huge proponent of "clean up your plate" and "three more bites, good bites" when meant that mealtime could often times end up a battle of wills.

I usually lost.

Parent mandated cereal was also something I loathed. I wanted something colorful, preferably with marshmallows or at least a mascot. What I ended up getting was, more often than not, "kid tested, mother approved."

Franken Berry was a mythic cereal.

Not only was it strawberry, which is like the pied piper of flavors, but it had it's own mythology; Franken Berry made your poop pink! How awesome is that? It's like the gift that keeps on giving!

Of course Ma Serpico would never allow it. While I longed for something to go "coo-coo" it would always remain beyond my grasp. If she was a good mood, I might be able to get something that tasted "grrrrrreat."

But being able to eat cereal at night (and conversely ice cream for breakfast) were two of things that I couldn't wait to do. Smoking, drinking, voting, driving and running for president all paled in comparison to eating the cereal that I wanted to eat, when I wanted to eat it.

To make matters worse, by the time I was in a position to actually buy my own cereal, Franken Berry was relegated to a seasonal variety. It just compounded the insult.

In the intervening years I've since sampled Franken Berry and I found it to be completely tolerable. It's funny how my whole childhood experience with cereal has shaped me. Despite my wanting them, when I actually had them they were disappointing. Maybe it's a palate thing or maybe they just aren't good. The point is, I can only eat them in small doses.

As for Franken Berry, it's a cereal with a mascot and marshmallows, so you basically know what you're getting. If your taste buds squint, you can a most pretend that it tastes like what someone who's only read a description of what strawberries actually taste like would synthesize.

I will never get accustomed to the texture of cereal marshmallows. They aren't soft, light of fluffy. They're just sweet and not cereal. They're tolerable, but they're barely marshmallow.

I will say that I don't care for the new rendering of Franken Berry on the box. It looks too slick and digital. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer ink and paint to tablet pcs.

But for me the Franken Berry experience isn't about texture or flavor. It's about that thrill of seeing the box on the shelf when there's a chill of autumn lingering in the air. It's about that rush of finally getting your hands on the forbidden fruit. It's about childhood expectations, not adulthood realizations.

Franken Berry makes me a kid again.

(But I'm not going to lie; I secretly wish that it also made my poop pink.)

Karmic Comic Retribution

2011-09-16T08:45:00.000-04:00

Ok, so last month I made a trip to the Baltimore Comic Con. I spent too much money. I didn't spend as much as I did last year, and I still spent too much. Like, I've got more comics than I'll ever possibly be able to read. I would literally have to be unemployed for six months to read the stacks and stacks of comics that I have.

And what really sucks is that in 51 weeks the Baltimore Comic Con returns, at which point I'll spend more money and have even more to read.

So I came up with a plan. I made a reading list. I've got a list of comics, trades and graphic novels that I've got to read in order to be able to attend next year's Baltimore Comic Con guilt free.

This week; Spider-Man Noir

Spider-Man Noir has virtually everything I look for in a comic. It's a miniseries, so it's got a beginning, a middle and an end. It's part of the Marvel Noir line, which means it takes Spider-Man mythos and characters and transplants them into a noir setting. It's also an "outside the box" approach to the characters, which is always a plus.

The series starts strong, mainly because it's building the world. The Daily Bugle and J. Jonah Jameson are present. So are Ben Urich and Aunt May. Uncle Ben meets an unfortunate end. Norman Osborn, Kraven and The Vulture also show up. It's pretty much all of the familiar faces of Spider-Man, only set in 1933.

There are twists and turns, as with any story. David Hine's story is certainly worth reading. The art, by Fabrice Sapolsky and Carmine Di Giandomenico takes some getting used to. It's detailed, but almost looks as though it's done in an animated style. It feels off at first, but by the end you're used to it as it completely defines the world.

If you're tired of reading the same old comics or the same old Spider-Man stories, I recommend this tale. It's certainly recommended if you're a fan of Marvel's What If or DC's Elseworlds.

Skip's Emmy Picks

2011-09-14T08:18:00.001-04:00

So, the Emmys are this Sunday. And since I watch the most television out of the entire F&S crew, I'm sort of the resident Emmy dude.

But the thing about that is, I just got a tv and I don't have cable. Also I don't watch crap, so I haven't seen a lot of shows that are nominated.

Still, I like investing in the outcome of things in which I have no control over, so I figured I'd offer up my Emmy picks.

Lead Actress in Comedy

I've never seen The Big C and I wasn't too fond of Nurse Jackie, so to me they're non-factors. Amy Poehler suffered from coming on midseason and I don't see anyone being particularly enamored with Tina Fey the actress this year.

For me it's a race between Martha Plimpton and Melissa McCarthy. Thanks to Bridesmaids, McCarthy has tons of buzz. But Plimpton was in The Goonies. Also Raising Hope is dumb funny.

Skip's Pick:

Martha Plimpton - she's the only lead from her show nominated and she's earned it.

Lead Actor in Comedy

Not being a Big Bang Theory fan and having never seen an episode of Episodes, boom, there goes half of the nominees. As much as I love Jack Donaghy, and I do love Jack Donaghy, I think Alec Baldwin sits this one out as well.

I've heard awesome things about Louie so the fact that Louis was nominated is huge. But Steve Carell's final episode of The Office was magnificent. I'd like to see Louis get the award, I don't know if voters are ready for him to win.

Skip's Pick:

Steve Carell - his swan song was terrific, funny and poignant.

Supporting Actress in Comedy

I'm over Glee and Jane Krakowski doesn't stand a chance. I don't see Sofia Vergara winning. And as much as I love Carol Vessey, I don't see Julie Bowen winning either (but I'd be slayed if she did.)

I think it's between Betty White, Kristen Wiig. Again, Wiig has Bridesmaids buzz, but White has the whole "decades in the biz" factor. I can't call it. But I'm pulling for Wiig.

Skip's Pick:

Kristen Wiig - she's mesmerizing on SNL, you watch her waiting to be entertained.

Supporting Actor in Comedy

I'm still over Glee. And as much as I'd love to see Jon Cryer's acceptance speech, I don't like Jon Cryer.

It's between the Modern Family guys. Um, I guess I'll pick one.

Skip's Pick:

Ty Burrell - he's my favorite of the Modern Family dudes.

Comedy Series

I love 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation. I loathe Glee and Big Bang Theory. The Office was terribly uneven. (Who'd have though Will Ferrell doing comedy would be so uneven? Oh, that's right; anyone who's seen one of his movies in the past five years.)

It's going to be Modern Family.

Skip's Pick:

Modern Family - it's the show to beat, the Cheers of it's era.

Lead Actress in Drama

Ma Serpico loves Friday Night Lights and Harry's Law. We both love Mad Men. I used to have a huge crush on Julianna Margulies. I hate the sole remaining Law & Order (I refuse to acknowledge the West coast edition.)

I've heard Mireille Enos killed in The Killing. But I'm really pulling for Elisabeth Moss. Plus, I used to have a huge crush on Julianna Margulies.

Skip's Pick:

Elisabeth Moss - "The Suitcase" was an amazing episode, put the knocked it out of the part all season long.

Lead Actor in Drama

This is a tough one for me. I don't watch Boardwalk Empire, House or Friday Night Lights and I haven't seen the most recent season of Dexter. But I do love both Mad Men and Justified.

Jon Hamm and Timothy Olyphant both had stellar seasons. Olyphant had to hold his own with some powerful competition (see the supporting noms) while Hamm had to give a carefully measured performance. Ugh, this is a difficult pick.

Skip's Pick:

Jon Hamm - Again "The Suitcase" was a powerful episode and his gauging of Don Draper's drunkenness through the entire season was amazing.

Supporting Actress in Drama

Supposedly The Good Wife is good, but I don't think it can compete. I've heard good things about The Killing and Boardwalk Empire, but I've yet to see an episode.

For me it's between Christina Hendricks and Margo Martindale. And as much as I love Hendricks (and I totally love her) I think Martindale handily takes this one.

Skip's Pick:

Margo Martindale - Mags was menacing and motherly often in the same scene and sentence, her performance was riveting.

Supporting Actor in Drama

This is a category full of sentimental favorites for me. With the exception of Alan Cummings, I'm a huge fan of everyone nominated. That said, for me it still boils down into a race between Mad Men and Justified.

John Slattery showed some real depth this season. Roger Sterling's outrage at Honda and his deception with American Tobacco were great to witness. And he kept with his trademark wit. But watching Boyd Crowder navigate murky backwater politics was a true treat.

Skip's Pick:

Walton Goggins - you never really knew where Boyd stood, yet you couldn't take your eyes off him, whenever he was on the screen.

Drama Series

Yeah, I only watch one of the shows nominated for Drama. So for me it's Mad Men.

Now what I find sort of interesting is how, largely because of Kurt Sutter, Mad Men winning or losing this award could be seen as a referendum on networks, Hollywood politics, Sutter and even Matthew Weiner.

Basically Sutter said that Mad Men's negotiations ruined things for Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead. So, if Hollywood folks agree with Sutter, they may use it as an excuse for voting against Mad Men, the reigning Emmy champion.

But Sutter also got painted as a troublemaker, so if Mad Men wins, it could be Hollywood telling Sutter to sit down and shut up.

Either way Sutter's Sons of Anarchy isn't nominated.

I'll be really interesting in seeing how it plays out.

Skip's Pick:

Mad Men - the fourth season was just as good as previous seasons, it's truly one of the finest hours on television.

I'll certainly be tuning in on Sunday to see how right I am.

Trailer Tuesday - Spider-Man, The Muppets, Sherlock Holmes and Mission: Impossible

2011-09-13T14:49:00.007-04:00

Breaking Bad is still awesome. I think people are pretty much divided between Team Gus and Team Hank. Also, Jay1 pointed out that this was the second week in a row where Skylar's scenes felt like they were missing a laugh track.

Anyway, this week's batch of trailers came from my recent trip to the movies. And honestly, if the movie theater put together reels of trailers, I'd probably pay to watch them. I dig trailers that much.

Amazing Spider-Man

What They Say: Um, it's Spider-Man

Reasons To Pay: Peter Parker. Gwen Stacy. Curt Connors. Plus you've got actors like Martin Sheen, Campbell Scott and Andrew Garfield. The story looks solid and the special effects seem fluid.

Reasons To Stay: I may still be suffering from my current bout of Emma Stone exhaustion. I'm not really a fan of fanboys.

At The End of the Day: I'm totally there!

The Muppets

What They Say: Muppet fanboy Walter and this two pals Gary (Jason Degel and Mary (Amy Adams) try to save Muppet Theater from the plans of evil oilman Tex (Chris Cooper.) Also, Walter is a muppet.

Reasons To Pay: Um, I grew up on The Muppets. I love The Muppets.

Reasons To Stay: I grew up on The Muppets. I love The Muppets. These don't feel like The Muppets. And no one can possibly redeem Starship's "We Built This City." What were they thinking?

At The End of the Day: I really think I'm going to have to pass on this one. As much as I love The Muppets, I'm genuinely worried about having my cherished memories brutally violated by this movie.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

What They Say: Holmes (Downey) and Watson (Law) square off against Moriarty (Jared Harris)

Reasons To Pay: Jared Harris, who's easily one of the best parts of the first season of Fringe and the fourth season of Mad Men.

Reasons To Stay: It seems a bit too cutesy for me. I still haven't fully embraced Robert Downey Jr as bonafide lead. Remember when Chris Rock poked fun at Jude Law during the Oscars? I still haven't recovered Law's omnipresence.

At The End of the Day: I didn't see the first one, which puts me behind. However Jared Harris is awesome and his presence in the new Sherlock Holmes could be enough to get me to get up to speed.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

What They Say: Nothing. Seriously, the Apple trailer just talks about how it's the first of Columbia Pictures three film adaptation of a literary blockbuster that's sold 50 million copies in 48 countries. And that it's directed by David Fincher and the screenplay is by Steven Zallian.

Reasons To Pay: Christopher Plummer and Stellan Skarsgard look awesome. Karen O and Oscar winner Trent Reznor collaborating on a cover of Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" is an awesome selling point.

Reasons To Stay: Rooney Mara looks scary. Like really scary. I'm also assuming this movie will be horribly overhyped. Having to rub elbows with bookworms in what I'm anticipating will be a packed theatre.

At The End of the Day: I haven't read the books, but that didn't stop me from enjoying the Harry Potter franchise.

The Sitter

What They Say: I actually couldn't find a recap, but it seems like a retread of Adventures in Babysitting only as a sophomoric comedy.

Reasons To Pay: I like comedy. This appears to be a comedy.

Reasons To Stay: It's paint by numbers ranges from predictable (babysitter amusingly threatens kids) to offensive (it's funny when white people talk "Black" and the adopted Latino kid teeters on stereotype.) Seriously, I was squirming in the theater, during the trailer.

At The End of the Day: It's bound to have some funny moments. I just don't know if I'll see any of them.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

What They Say: The IMF is implicated in a terrorist plot. Ethan goes rogue with new team to clear IMF's name.

Reasons To Pay: The action looks dope. I've been a fan of Jeremy Renner since 2003. Paula Patton is still hot.

Reasons To Stay: I still remember Tom Cruise Running (aka Mission: Impossible III). I'll never forget that movie.

At The End of the Day: I could probably be dragged to see this movie. But torch passing sequel tend to disappoint. This is tough.

The End.

Next Week: Who knows.

Ten Years Ago

2011-09-12T00:01:00.000-04:00

Ten years ago something happened that altered things irrevocably. It was an opening salvo in what had previously been a cold war. It was something that delineated the timeline into "pre" and "post" periods. It changed the way we thought and how we acted. There was a definable before and after.

Ten years ago someone popped up on our radar who hadn't been there before, but should have been. He was a man who became a monster and grew to symbolize a larger looming threat. He grew to be hated and people called for his head.

Ten years ago, everything changed.

Jay-Z's The Blueprint completely altered the Hip-Hop landscape. Not only did he openly declare war on long time rival Nas, but that album also heralded the arrival of Kanye West into the Hip-Hop consciousness.

The Blueprint sounded like nothing else out at the time. It's soul sample soundscape, provided predominately by West and Just Blaze, was as revolutionary as A Tribe Called Quest's use of Jazz; it provided a warmth and connected Hip-Hop to previous forms of Black music. It build upon those bygone records and introduced them to a new generation.

Before The Blueprint sampling had been dumbed down. Thanks to Diddy sampling wasn't viewed as an art, but rather the act of a lazy producer. But West, Blaze and Bink showed how chopping, flipping and speeding up samples could make a known song sound new, yet familiar.

The Blueprint also showcased Jay-Z at his most focused to that point. Jay-Z was saying that not only was he the rightful heir to Biggie's throne, but that he was going to take it regardless of what anyone thought. He was fierce, fearless, funny and honestly at the top of his game.

Additionally Jay-Z gained respect as an artist. The Blueprint wasn't just a collection of songs, it was a bonafide album. There was a cohesive feel to the whole affair.

As a result of The Blueprint you saw an increased lyrical tenacity in Nas and the rise in popularity of samples, particularly the sped up variety. Coincidently 2001 also marks The Neptunes' peak. The Blueprint is also Kanye West's coming out party and the beginning of his dominance as an artist.

The Blueprint was released on the same day as Fabolous' Ghetto Fabolous and Ben Folds' Rockin' the Suburbs. Ten years later, of those three albums it's the only one that still packs cultural impact and the only one that still gets spins around Fish & Spaghetti Corporate Headquarters.

I guess we never forgot.

That One Time, When I Met Cameron Crowe

2011-09-09T08:22:00.000-04:00

So, I was watching Jimmy Fallon last night and Cameron Crowe was on. And Fallon was his typical full of praise self when he announced Cameron Crowe was coming on. Fallon talked about how Crowe really had a huge impact on his life and was a genuine cool dude.

And I completely concur about Cameron Crowe being a cool dude. And I say that as someone who actually met him.

Now, this happened when I lived in Las Vegas. Y'know...I used to be a restaurant employee. And that's basically what you do if you move to Vegas; you work a restaurant, you work in a casino (employed or as a gambler) or you work as an "entertainer." I opted for restaurant employee.

Nancy Wilson, Cameron Crowe's wife at the time, was playing the Red Rock Casino and the restaurant I was working at was doing brisk business. On that night, the job I was assigned was polishing silverware. Basically I was responsible for making sure the silverware that went to the tables looked nice. It was an easy gig and it allowed me to buy sushi and Baja Fresh, so I was cool with it.

I'm polishing silverware and I see someone walk past me. Now usually I only noticed if the person walking past me was an attractive female, but I noticed this dude because he looked just like Cameron Crowe.

I'd been a fan of Cameron Crowe's films. Say Anything was a touchstone for me, Jerry Maguire was good before the backlash began and Vanilla Sky was dope. So basically, I knew who the guy was. Plus he'd recently had a feature in Blender. I want to say it was about what album covers he loved.

Unfortunately for me, I was only pretty sure it was Cameron Crowe. I went up to the front desk to get the name for the reservation, only to find out it was the other guy who made the reservation.

To make matters worse, because I was in Las Vegas all of my coworkers were pretty vapid and I doubted I could get any of them to back up my belief that Cameron Crowe was indeed dining in the restaurant, because I doubted any of them knew who Cameron Crowe was.

But there was one dude I worked with that I was pretty sure would know who Cameron Crowe was. Not only did we talk about movies and music, but he was also taking film classes at UNLV. And he was working that night. His name was, um, Guillermo.

I grabbed Guillermo and we agreed that it was indeed Cameron Crowe. We geeked out over it.

It was late enough that I realized, if I timed it just right I could leave work around the same time as Cameron Crowe and "bump" into him and strike up a conversation.

I did just that. I timed it out perfectly. I literally held the door for him as he left the restaurant. And then I made my move.

I began by announcing that I was a big fan, which he graciously accepted. I then told him that I was a writer who wanted to make films and asked if he could offer up any advice.

He gave the standard answer of "write" which is what every writer says. But then he went further. He said that I should write something, a scene or a short film and then shoot it. He said that shooting it would attract attention. And while it may be poorly acted or poorly directed, if it was well written studio people would notice it and give a chance to the writer.

It was such a dope moment. Here I was, a complete stranger, basically accosting a renowned filmmaker and badgering him, yet Cameron Crowe was generous enough to give me a real answer and some genuine advice. It was really, really cool.

And then the dude Cameron Crowe was dining with came out and we went our separate ways.

But I was on a cloud for the rest of the night.

And that's the time I met Cameron Crowe.

Five More Products from Back To The Future We Want To Own

2011-09-08T08:30:00.000-04:00

So the word around the web is that later today Nike will announce the awesome Air Mag kicks from Back to the Future II will soon be hitting the market.

You know the Air Mags? Marty McFly II's joints with the Power Laces? Yeah, they're about to become a reality.

Well here are five other products from Back to the Future that we totally want to see on the market.

Marty Jr's Jacket - Ok, not his actual jacket because his had a malfunctioning sleeve. But we want a jacket with adjusting sleeves that can also dry itself. I mean if we're wasting the current technology we have by taking x-rays of Kim Kardashian's butt, we should really be investing in the future.

Hoverboards - We're still not 100% sure how these things were supposed to work. Was it magnets? We forget. But we know that we want one. And while our sense of equilibrium isn't what it once was, we are sure that we'd totally master this new mode of transportation.

Griff's Bat - Telescoping is always cool and Griff's bat telescoped. Plus if we had Griff's bat we could finally realize our dream Halloween costume; a mash up between Back to the Future and The Warriors. How awesome would it be to see a Baseball Fury with a futuristic bat?

Oh La La -We're not going to lie; we can't get enough of scantily clad women. But this magazine would serve a couple purposes other than that. It would be cool to read the articles. And it would also illustrate a point to Chet that he doesn't know how good he has it when it comes to images of naked women. Back in our day, we had to have actual hard copies of porn.

Mandarin Orange Slice - This would be dope because it's both futuristic and a throwback. Not only does "Mandarin Orange Slice" no longer exist as a flavor, but Slice as a brand is limited to Wal-Mart. Yup, it's a futuristic throwback, wrap your head around that.

Bonus: Doc Brown's Radiation Suit - This is a personal one for me. I'm a huge fan of one-pieces and jumpsuits. Getting my hands on one of Doc Brown's Radiation Suits would be like my holy grail. I doubt there'd be a huge market for it, but golly, a guy can dream, can't he?

Monday Munchies - Milk Substitutes

2011-09-05T08:17:00.000-04:00

I believe I'm slightly lactose intolerant. I came to this conclusion when realized that if I banished cream based Frappuccinos from my daily routine then my agonizing stomach cramps also disappeared.

The occasional milkshake was tolerable as was cheese. But if foods were too rich they would leave me doubled over in abdominal distress.

But once in a blue moon I longed for a bowl in cereal, that wasn't bone dry. That's why a few weeks ago I began to try out various milk substitutes like Almond Breeze, Rice Dream and Coconut Dream.

Now the first one I tried was Coconut Dream, because I'm essentially a big kid and in my mind coconuts are sweet and full of goodness. Thus, their milk should be glorious.

The packaging boasted vitamins and 3x the calcium of...something. It sounded amazing, which is why the first sip was so disappointing.

Coconut Dream was much thinner than I expected/wanted it to be. I was hoping for some body and there was none to be found. And it tasted like coconuts, actual coconuts. Not nearly as sweet or powerful as artificially flavored and sweetened products had lead be to believe. It tasted like the hint of a memory of the coconut I'd been expecting.

With cereal, it was acceptable, but pretty much just as disappointing.

And that's when it hit me; I was expecting Coconut Dream to be like a romanticized version Strawberry Milk; sweet, think and not tasting anything like what ingredient it's named after actually tastes like. It was a sobering dose of reality.

With my expectations recalibrated I tried out Coconut Dream again and this time I was just mildly disappointed. I did manage to use it to make a Blueberry/Coconut shake using some blueberry ice cream. And honestly the shake wasn't half bad.

Next up was the Almond Breeze. This time around I opted for the vanilla flavored variety. It was much tastier. It also felt as thought there were more body to it. And it worked really well with the cereal. I was much more impressed with the Almond Breeze than I was with the Coconut Dream.

The thing about Almond Breeze is that it does actually taste like almonds. I love almonds. They are one of my favorite nuts. But tasting them in the liquid you're drinking is sort of discomforting. It's like the flavor and the sensation don't usually go together, which makes for a weirdly conscious moment.

Last up was the Rice Dream. I went for the Rice Dream mostly because it looked like the only "Dream" that I hadn't tried a version of. And again I went the vanilla flavored route.

Much like the Almond Breeze, the Rice Dream succeeded due to diminished expectations and the added flavor. And also like theAlmond Breeze, the Rice Dream is completely tolerable. The Rice Dream also benefits from rice pudding, in that the flavor and the substance don't feel completely foreign in conjunction with each other.

Of course the real lesson I learned with the variety of Dream milk substitutes, is that the use of milk is really a learned behavior. Milk hasn't been a part of my daily routine since I was a young schoolboy. As a result, in my refrigerator reside three half full containers of Dream milk substitutes, because there isn't enough demand in Casa de Serpico to finish a container before it expires.

Still, if you're interested in milk substitutes, I'd go for Rice Dream because of the basic familiarity with the flavoring. Next up would be Almond Breeze which is good, but literally nutty. And finally Coconut Dream which I think is strictly for the adventurous.

I Think I'm Over Red Hot Chili Peppers

2011-09-01T08:50:00.000-04:00

Red Hot Chili Peppers, along with U2 and REM are one of the few bands that defined Rock for my generation. I mean obviously there were bands before them, but those three bands really created the sound of Rock for me.

But I've listened to the latest RHCP offering, I'm With You, and I think I'm sort of done with them.

The first time I got into RHCP was in 1992. I'd heard of them before that, but I wasn't really feeling them until then. I was volunteering at the Tucson Children's Museum and a fellow volunteer had Blood Sugar Sex Magik on tape. She swore they were the greatest, so I figured I'd give it a shot.

I listened to her walkman and got acquainted with the band. Everyone else was fawning over "Give It Away" and "Under The Bridge" but neither song was really my speed.

I will say that "Breaking The Girl" totally slayed me. That song was totally my joint. And then I heard "Soul To Squeeze" and I was like "I think I sort of like these dudes."

The Dave Navarro era with One Hot Minute really didn't do too much for me. I don't really know why that is, but I just couldn't connect with them during that time.

Then, when Californication came out, I was back in. Not only was I digging songs like "Scar Tissue" "Otherside" and "Californication" but they had great videos too. Plus I actually went to see them at Merriweather on their tour supporting the album.

And By The Way was equally dope. Though in fairness it had basically the same feel as Californication, which was one of the biggest knocks on the album. But since I liked Californication, I didn't mind a rehash one bit. I was never a bigger RHCP fan than I was at this era.

Then came Stadium Arcadium. Now, I'm biased against double albums. I haven't met a double album that I haven't ripped to shreds, nor have I met one that wouldn't have been a stellar single album with some judicious culling. Stadium Arcadium was a chore to listen to.

But it should also be noted that when Stadium Arcadium came out, I wasn't really associating with any RHCP fans who could have shared their love for the album with me. Nor was I watching videos and they've usually got solid videos. So, I don't know if my falling out of love with the band is a coincidence, justified or just a proper conflagration of circumstances.

The end result is that I wasn't down any longer.

A few months ago I put Californication, By The Way and Stadium Arcadium in my stereo and put them on repeat. I still loved what I always loved and Stadium Arcadium was still as trying as ever.

I tried to go into I'm With You with an open mind, but nothing really grabbed me. Granted, I've only been listening to it for two days, so things can still change, but if something doesn't change, I can't see myself giving it spins beyond this next week. I'd much rather listen to something I actually enjoy than trying to make myself enjoy something I really don't.

Maybe I've outgrown Red Hot Chili Peppers. Maybe they've outlived their usefulness. I can't call it. But I do know that Red Hot Chili Peppers no longer do it for me like they once used to. And that sort of makes me sad.

Trailer Tuesday - Contagion, Abduction, Killer Elite and More!

2011-08-30T02:00:00.011-04:00

Despite the two natural disasters it's been a pretty mellow week. Breaking Bad is still amazing. Seriously, Hank effing Schrader! I finally picked up Watch The Throne and Kanye is barely tolerable.

Since I did my whole Tom Felton double feature of the final Harry Potter and Rise of the Planet of the Apes, I saw a ton of trailers. I'll share my thoughts on some of them.


Contagion

What They Say: A lethal airborne virus that kills within days spreads rapidly. Normal people struggle with the loss of society while the medical field struggle to find a cure.

Reasons To Pay: Um, Damon, Soderbergh together again? Plus it's got two of my favorite Anna Gunn costars with John Hawkes and Bryan Cranston. Also the subject matter sounds interesting because, well, you know how we feel about the Avian Flu. And seriously, who doesn't love a good pandemic every now and again?

Reasons To Stay: Given the overhyping of Hurricane Irene, I'm sort of over widespread panic right now.

At The End of the Day: The cast and director are probably enough to get me to check this one out.

Abduction

What They Say: Literally; "Taylor Lautner stars as a young man unwittingly thrust into a a deadly world of covert espionage in Liongate's action-thriller Abduction, directed by John Singleton."

Reasons To Pay: It's got Rahad Jackson from Boogie Nights, Brotherhood's Michael Caffee and Natalie from The Cooler. It does kind of look cool to see a young "Jason Bourne" type. The trailer is full of action...

Reasons To Stay: ...and stiff acting. Taylor Lautner and his fan base serious reasons to skip this one.

At The End of the Day: I'd likely have to be dragged to this flick by a young lady and chances are, if she's interested in this one she's too young for me.

Killer Elite

What They Say: Jason Statham plays a retired special ops agent who gets back in the game to save his mentor Robert De Niro. Clive Owen plays the antagonist in this globe hopping action/adventure.

Reasons To Pay: Clive Owen was awesome in Children of Men, Closer and Derailed; movies where he had to actually act.

Reasons To Stay: This movie clearly focuses on action over acting. I can't recall the last time I enjoyed De Niro in a movie. And while I'm happy Turkish has a thriving career as an action star, it's not really my bag.

At The End of the Day: It looks like a movie with twists and turns and plenty of awesome action and a pinch too much testosterone for me.

Dream House

What They Say: Daniel Craig plays a father who's trying to figure out what happened to his family in his house.

Reasons To Pay: I like movies with twists. I find Daniel Craig unoffensive. I'm genuinely curious what happened to those two little girls who lived a house.

Reasons To Stay: The trailer seems to give the twist away.

At The End of the Day: I can't really see myself going to this movie. It'd probably be another date type scenario.

In Time

What They Say: In a future where money buys you life extensions, Justin Timberlake fights the power.

Reasons To Pay: I want to show my undying support for Pete Campbell. I like movies about the future. I dig Cillian Murphy.

Reasons To Stay: I'm not a fan of movies set in a future that's distinctly white, movies starring Justin Timberlake and movies that attempt to deal with class while ignoring race. If feels sort of The Island-esque.

At The End of the Day: As much as I love Pete Campbell, my loathing for Justin Timberlake is much, much stronger.

The End

Next Week: The Muppets, Sherlock Holmes, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and more.